a couple months ago i became pregnant unexpectedly. at first it was like wow am i ready for this? but ya know after i had time to get used to the idea, i was happy and excited. i even picked out some names. so when i had a miscarriage at 6 and a half weeks it was pretty depressing. well, know that i've had the time to think about it, i feel i am ready and i really want a baby, im almost desprate. when i was pregnant before, my husband was a little worried and not exactly thrilled that we were pregnant so soon but he got pretty used to the idea too. i know he'd probably rather wait but i just can't. is it a bad idea to get pregnant on purpose even if i don't say anything to him? i mean, we are married, we have a jobs that we plan to have for at least the next 10 years, i don't see anything changing so whats the point in waiting? has anyone had this problem? anyone actually do it?
2007-02-13 04:23:57 · 10 answers · asked by *Italian*<3*Floridian* 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
As someone on the other side, absolutely don't do it!!! Talk to him. If you are in a loving, committed marriage, you should respect him enough to discuss it with him at length. Do NOT trap your husband.
2007-02-13 04:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by Holding A Star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well getting pregnant on the sly isnt exactly what husbands enjoy. If he didnt react to well with the news about the first pregnancy and feels he doesnt want one at the moment you should respect that. I am sure he has other reasons for wanting to wait. Talk to him again and see why he doesnt want one so soon. I wouldnt go behind his back and do it "accidently". It wouldnt be right, and it may make things different between ya'll. Talk to him and see what he is thinking. Let him know that you feel you are ready. Maybe ya'll can work together and figure out when the right time would be.. Sorry about your loss
2007-02-13 12:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by auntietawnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should probably go through a little bit of counseling on this. You lost a child, and that's really destructive to a woman's psyche. The reason why you want another baby is because you lost the last one. It's a horrible idea to get pregnant in that manner. You want that baby to come into world with parents who are excited and already adore him, not with one parent who's not ready, and the other who had the baby because she lost one.
2007-02-13 12:43:12 · answer #3 · answered by mischieviousenigma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think getting pregnant on the sly is a terrible idea. Your husband should be able to trust you. You need to talk to him about your feelings on this and hear his reasoning on why he wants to wait. Maybe you guys can set a timeline and then you will have that to look forward to. What if you ends up resenting the baby because he wasn't ready or what if he figures out you got pregnant on the sly and resents you both. I would not do that to your marriage if you want it to last.
2007-02-15 10:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by julie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are suggesting pretending to be on birth control, I say dont do it. You may end up with a baby and no husband. That is deceitful and wrong. Talk with your husband and find out why he is hesitant. A baby is a serious responsibility that needs to be agreed upon by both of you. Good luck.
2007-02-13 12:55:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss dear. i really understand you. I miscarried last December at 11 weeks pregnancy. The baby was 3 weeks dead inside me and no one ever noticed, not even the nurse that performed the ultrasound. I had no blood discharge, just a feeling of something happened.
Well, at first, I was just like you... afraid, but now I really want another baby, not to forget the other one, but maybe to fulfill the emptiness that inside me.... I wish you a lot of baby dust.
2007-02-13 12:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by Butterfly girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be a joint decision. How would you feel if you told him you didn't want a puppy, but then he got one anyway figuring you'd get used to the idea later. It's not fair and it's dishonest. A baby deserves to be brought into the world with both parents excited about it, not when one was forced into it.
2007-02-13 12:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband how you feel.If he loves you enough he will think it is a good thing to.Waiting 10 more years might not be possible .A child will make you 2 closer than before because you share something very unique.
well hope my advice works
best of luck!!!
2007-02-13 13:16:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go and do it on purpose! You need to talk to him about it, if he loves you he will listen to you. Men are always scared to have children, but when it does happen, they wouldn't change it for the world.
If you do it on purpose that is the same thing as lying.. he won't know that.. but you will and have to live with the guilt.
2007-02-13 12:30:34 · answer #9 · answered by Mommy2Two!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should have had this discussion before you got married, thets the number 2 reason people cheat and get divorced, you can't go behind his back
2007-02-13 12:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by Trac2100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋