I'm a female with a guy friend. It is not an intimate friendship, I'm married and I would never cheat on my husband. My friend has a girlfriend and they have known each other for 6 years. Do you think that it is right for his girlfriend to insist that my friend not make any attempts to perform simple acts of kindness such as giving me a card on my birthday? My friend constantly tells me that he can't be the way he used to be because he doesn't want to upset his girlfriend. This issue has caused major arguments but he always gives in and she wins. He is upset about hurting me but feels as if he is caught in the middle. Part of me wants to be understanding and the other part of me wants to tell him to grow a set of balls and stop allowing himself to be p---ywhipped. I don't think that it is right for a girfriend to tell her boyfriend who he can or can't treat as a friend.
2007-02-13 04:10:23 · 9 answers · asked by Cherrybomb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Personally, I believe that no one should change who they are to please someone else. I think in a relationship there has to be compromises but, they should not change Who they are.
He should sit down and talk to his girlfriend about this and discuss how he feels he is losing who he is because he feels he has to change who he is to meet her desires. They met differently and he shouldn't have to change who he is. If this is more about him not giving you a card or keeping in contact with you, invite them both to dinner and show her you are not a threat to him.
Ultimately it is his decision on how he is going to handle it. You can only give him your suggestions. If you push the issue, he will probably choose his girlfriend over you. Let him know you are still there for him. Invite them over for game night or dinner, or bowling, something that involves her. Show her that she is welcome too. Some women feel threatened when they don't have the trust they should in their boyfriends.
They should communicate and be honest with each other and hopefully have the trust they need to make a good relationship.
Best wishes to you and your friend.
2007-02-13 04:25:44 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your opinion of your friend's girlfriend. She sounds like a very jealous and selfish person, But if she is who your friend chooses to be with, there is nothing you can do about that. I suggest you express your frustration to your friend as tactfully as possible and then just deal with the situation.
Unfortunately not all friendships are ideal. The closer you get to someone the more you have to deal with all the other crap in their life. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. Good Luck.
2007-02-13 12:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i completely agree with u...am currently having a very similar situation with my guy friend and his gf. i took him brownies for his b-day because she wasn't going to make anything for him and it turned out that she claims i was stalking him. now we r not allowed to make contact with him.personally i think there is no trust in this relationship and can't believe he won't stick up for our friendship.anyways i guess all u can do is either give the situation some time or just walk away completely. whatever u decide good luck!
2007-02-13 13:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by luv_to_spy_on_u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I have experienced the same thing. It sounds like she is out of line and he needs to grow a spine and find a girl who will let him be who he is. Don't apologize for being his friend, and don't give it up, but understand that in the end, he may choose her over you - the power of the p***y is strong. Unfortunately.
2007-02-13 12:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by somebody 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess his girlfriend's feelings are more important than yours. He's free to do what he wants, and he's choosing to give in to make her happy.
I personally don't think it's right for married women to carry on with single men who have jealous girlfriends, but that's an issue for your husband.
2007-02-13 12:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah that is ridulous. if she trusts him ya know she wouldn't care. that is stupid it's not liek yuo are doing anything ya know. Her needs to flat out tell her what is up because he deserves to have freinds of the op sex.
2007-02-13 12:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kelsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is stupid she knew that you and him were friends before they got together she needs to understand that you can't own people. First it is you, next another friend of his.
2007-02-13 12:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think your guy friend and his gf are right. he is in relationships now, his gf is a priority for him. i am surprised he hasn't dumped u. but it will happen soon. or they will break up. do u want that? u want him to stay single because of u?
2007-02-13 12:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I agree.
2007-02-13 12:14:32 · answer #9 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋