What does it mean when your husband tells you: if you want kids we can have them, if not that's okay too?
2007-02-13 04:06:40 · 17 answers · asked by I do 26.2 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know my husband loves me without a doubt, and he wants me to be happy. My biggest fear is to bring a child into the household, and to later discover he never really wanted (more) kids. (He has 2 children from a previous marriage, and he doesn't seem to be too proactive with them.)
2007-02-13 05:16:57 · update #1
It means that he loves you no matter what. He will stand behind you which ever your choice maybe.
2007-02-13 04:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by beaches 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
UUUHHH..Did you try asking him? I mean it could mean a million and one different things. The question you should be asking yourself is whether or not your reaction to the question makes him uneasy in responding truthfully.
If you' re the kind of girl that goes "crazy, with oohhhs and awwwwhhs" when you see a freakin' commercial with a baby in it, then of course he's gonna say, "Well honey if you want kids we can have them." But if you talk openly with him and let him respond without judgement, ya might get a more concrete answer.
Bottom line: Don't rush into having children, communicate about everything, even the worse case scenerio type stuff, then make a decision. Nothing worse than bringing a child into a marriage that really isn't ready for it.
2007-02-13 12:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying hard to not create an expectation. He is aware of how much a pregnancy can change your body, your lifestyle and having children is something you are never really prepared for. He is showing respect for your decision.
I suspect he has an inclination in other way or the other but is maybe not ready to deal with the subject. My suggestion is to watch him interact with children, see if he connects and watch his body language. You’ll soon see how he feels about children.
Another issue could be his childhood, so people who have had bad childhoods, won’t necessarily want children for fear of being bad parents themselves.
2007-02-13 12:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Means he's on the fence about it. He doesn't have a great desire to have them, but he also knows that if you guys have them he will probably be happy, so he's leaving the decision up to you. This is exactly the way I feel about kids - I'm not dead-set against having them, but I'm quite content to remain childless; if I ended up with a person who didn't want kids, we wouldn't have them. My husband happens to want some, so I told him he can let me know when he's ready, and we'll start trying. However, if he never gets "ready", it's ok with me, too - I'm perfectly ok with my life as it is, and don't have an urge to create an extra burden by having children.
Just tell your husband when you're ready, sounds like the ball's in your court.
2007-02-13 12:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I think you should have talked about this before you said I DO but ..... to me it sounds like he does not really care if he has kids or not... if you have them GREAT if not it is ok with him to be just you and him for the rest of your lives. The question should be do you want kids?
2007-02-13 12:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by A Friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me give you some advice - stop interpreting what your husband is trying to say and listen to what he is saying.
He is saying he doesn't care. I feel the same way about kids in my relationship. If I have them ok, if not, that's fine, too.
2007-02-13 12:21:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's not really ready to become a father. I don't think men really get it until thier wives actually become pregnant or have to face the challenges of conceiving problems.
He loves you and it sounds like he feels that as long as he has you, whether you create a family or not, he is a very happy man!!!
2007-02-13 12:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by lil_hem_n_va 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't want to pressure you to do something your not ready for. You should ask him if he wants kids maybe get a plan. For example we'll try to start a family in __ yrs.
2007-02-13 12:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by **Red** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It means just what he said if you want kids ok ,if you don't that's ok as well.Sounds fairly clear to me.You want him to be either happy about the idea of parenting and he doesn't mind one way or the other.
2007-02-13 12:15:25 · answer #9 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it can mean, if you want kids we can have them and I'll be right there helping out and being a great parent, or it can mean if you want kids, you can have them and I'll be on the sidelines and you get to do everything.....better ask him to be sure before you have kids.....
2007-02-13 12:34:14 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋