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Question

I am 3 months pregnant and have been feeling very tired. My fiance has been complaining because the house is not as clean as it used to be. I do clean everyday but I do not clean every room like he expects. I also have a 5 year old who needs my time also. With my first pregnancy I had a problem with my placenta and I couldn't vacum or anything cause there was a risk of miscarriage and I'm afraid I may have the same thing. If I do clean alot I get stomach pains so I stop for a while. I guess my ? is am I doing wrong by not cleaning so much or is he right to flip out about it? Please don't be ignorant I hear it everyday. Thanks to everyone who reply's

Thanks to everyone who understands what I;m going through. He does help out with the laundry but he complains about it. He works full time so I understand that he is tired but so am I and he don't seem to understand. My daughter helps me out also she will help me with the dishes and sweep and things but she's only 5 so I don't expect her to do it all. Well thanks again

Answer 1

I feel exhausted and I'm just a couple weeks farther along that you. I don't have the energy to clean like you either. I mean I will do the dishes and just being up and moving for that length of time wears me out. I have to also do physical training with the Navy so I'm always tired. My husband is on the same page as yours. Men don't understand what we are feeling, even if they have been around other pregnant women they think that you should be different and that all pregnancies are basically the same. Take him to your doctor so he can hear first hand out of thier mouth that everything is different and you are allowed to be tired. So your not doing wrong, as long as your doing as much as you can that's all that matters.

Answer 2

I'm sorry he's not being very supportive. Pregnancy is so exhausting and some people don't understand that. Check with your doctor and be sure you don't have a low lying placenta. If that's okay you should be good to go. Your energy should return for the 2nd trimester into the third, but toward the end you'll be super tired again. Sit down with your fiance and explain that you need him to be supportive because even after that baby comes you won't be able to do as much around the house as you used to. Is it really that important to have a surer clean house. Tell him to lend a hand. If not just make sure the laundry and dishes get down. Don't worry about the things that aren't really necessary to make it through everyday. Best of luck to you!!!

Answer 3

Oh man since I have been pregnant and I am 10 weeks, my bf and my mom have been taking turns cleaning my house and doing my laundry and dishes because I have been soo sick with morning sickness but also with fatigue. Yopu should not feel bad as long as your house is sanitary to live it in you should be fine. Im sorry he is not as understanding. I know how hard it is, I can't imagine having a five yr old on top of it. I showed my bf an article that your body is working much harder than his when you are laying down because you are making a baby and the placenta and that really helped. Sorry you are going through this but no you are not wrong in not being able to clean every room up to his standards. Take care and good luck!!

Answer 4

Too bad he isn't one of those husbands or fiances that go through pregnancy with you, like the sympathy pains and sympathy sickness. talk to him and explain to him that you either need his help or for him to allow you to hire someone to come in once or twice a week and help you. Try doing as much as you can sitting down. When I was pregnant I would have passing out spells if I was on my feet to long. So, I went out and bought a tall stool and I would use it for doing dishes or cooking, instead of standing there. I would sit on the floor and sort the laundry, or fold the clothes. And another thing I would do that I still do is focus on one room a day. there a 6 rooms in my house so i can clean one a day and still have one day to just relax and keep it simple. Make sure to be taking you r prenatal vitamins, and eat food that is going to give you energy to do the things you need to do. And exercise, even though you are tired, exercise releases endorphins that help you to have more energy and it increases circulation. Maybe your 5 year old can help you to vaccuum, won't be the greatest job, but I'm sure he or she will love doing it.

Answer 5

If your fiance is that bothered he can clean the house himself! You're pregnant, not feeling too great, and he needs to pull his weight - either by helping out with the housework himself, or by being more understanding about your situation and so dropping his expectations a bit. And frankly, his expectations sound rather high! So long as your home is basically hygenic and clean - which I'm sure it is since you do clean every day - then it sounds fine to me.

Best wishes, and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Answer 6

My hubby hints at things like that all the time: "well lets clean up a bit more huh?" For crying out loud! If men had to go through a pregnancy, let alone birth, the species would die out! I showed my hubby a portion of a pregnancy book that said "a pregnant woman at rest, exerts the same amount of energy as a non pregnant person does climbing a mountain." He shut up really quickly. You are not doing anything wrong. Take it easy. Concentrate on yourself, your baby and your 5 year old. Best of luck.

Answer 7

He needs to understand that you are under certain conditions where you cannot to the amount of work that he is expecting every day. I don't think he is right to flip out about it. It sounds a little scary, really the way your are wording the question; "...I do not clean every room like he expects." That's a little scary, does he do anything when you don't do what he expects? Have you tried explaining to him that with your five year old, and with the pregnancy that you just can't get to everything every single day? How is his reaction?

Answer 8

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Don't forget that you're growing a human being in there and it's normal to feel very tired. I think your fiance needs to lower his expectations for a bit and pitch in himself. His arms aren't broken. If he has expectations of things being neat and tidy, there's no reason why he can't do it. Maybe your fiance needs to go to the doctor on your next visit and find out why you are so tired during your first trimester. If he realizes the risk of you not taking it easy, especially if you've had problems in the past, maybe he'll be a little more understanding. Sometimes guys just don't get it! Hang in there.

Answer 9

You're pregnant for goodness sake. He should be helping you more. The fatigue usually passes after the first trimester, so hopefully things will get better for you. Just tell him, when he carries another person in his body, then he has the right to fuss about you not cleaning so much. As long as the house is not a complete disaster, let him fuss. Just tune him out.

Answer 10

NO, you are pregnant and your husband needs to realize this!!! It does not matter how far along you are, you need to take it very easy so you do not cause stress on yourself therfore straing the baby. If your husband does not like the way you clean, tell him where the cleaning supplies and the vaccum and mop are!! Tell HIM to get busy! You have every right to take it easy, so sit back and relax, and play with your 5 year old!!