Should I break up with my girlfriend, because of her past?

7 ⤊

Should I break up with my girlfriend, because of her past?

I've been with my girlfriend for 1 month now. She's my first girlfriend. My family doesn't approve of her, because they think she's not good enough for me. I go to a top university and she just went to a trade school. She's overweight too. I love her though. Compared to most guys, I'm very innocent, honest and caring. I grew up in a good home and I've never experienced really any hardship in my life. She has a dark past though. Her last boyfriend used to physically abuse her and he got her pregnant and forced her to get an abortion. She broke up with him a little over a year ago. He called her a few weeks ago out of the blue and last night he came by her house, when she was alone. My mom says this sounds like a bad situation. In addition, she cuts herself and because of her ex, she's about $4,000 in debt. Since I started seeing her, I've seen her every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and she's consumed my life. My family and friends worry. What should I do? thanks 4 reading

2007-02-13 03:51:07 · 17 answers · asked by quad5 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships

2007-02-13 10:20:22 · update #1

btw, her ex came over to hurt her. I don't think I made that clear. She had to force him out the door and call the police. It's not an issue of her cheating. It's more about physical safety.

2007-02-13 10:22:30 · update #2

17 answers

If you really care for this girl then you will stick by her side..You should never hold somebody's past against them the past is the past and nobody can change that.You said yourself you have had a very easy life so you should not judge anyone when you have no clue how hard some people have it.If you want to be with her then be with her you have to live your own life and make your own decisions you can't rely on your mommy to make up your mind for the rest of your life.Be a man and do what feel's right for you.

2007-02-13 04:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋

This is why individuals must NEVER inform every different approximately their beyond intercourse existence. It's now not anybody else's trade besides. Okay that stated, I suppose you 2 sound like a excellent fit supplying you'll recover from your possess insecurities approximately your masculinity and be trustworthy to her. Men who run round screwing some thing so they can maintain nonetheless lengthy adequate and now not making use of condoms so they have got children everywhere, are VERY insecure approximately being a person. They consider they must constantly "turn out" they're ready of having an erection and impregnating females. A guy takes RESPONSIBILITY for his movements. That way you do not dip it at each possibility, however relax and handle what you may have co-created - your youngsters. I certain desire you get your head the correct approach. Because if you do not, you're both going to die too younger from AIDS or you're going to become an historical guy someplace with no person giving a rat's a ss whether or not you reside or die.

2016-09-05 07:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

i wouldn't quite say that your family is wrong, but maybe there butting in just a bit too much, i think your old enough to make your own decions and so you should. your family is just worried about you and what will become of your futur if you stay with her. she does seem to have a bad past, maybe she need some help with i t, like councelling or something ( for the cutting) she needs you as a friend, and a jab as well ( for the debt). maybe you guys should go on "hold" till she gets everything sorted out. and this may help you cause since your in school it is probably difficult to concentrait on your work with her consumming your life. maybe you guys should be friends for now, she seems to need that more then anything. best of luck

2007-02-13 04:19:02 · answer #3 · answered by Samski 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋

If you love her...stick with her. You sound like your a good guy and what she needs. Her past isn't her fault...she got caught in a bad situation. She's still obviously hurting over what that guy did to her and made her do....it's terrible for a girl to have to go through that type of crap. And vice versa when women abuse their boyfriends/husbands.
I say help her realize there are good men out there and you want to help her forget about her past as much as possible. If this guy is still bothering her suggest she get a restraining order against him. If he harrasses you....you get one against him. Your love life is not your families decision. But is she does consume your time and you don't see your family as often....suggest space. And bring her around your family more. Let them see why you love her.
The debt thing.....she's not terribly in debt at all. Suggest she do what she can to pay it off gradually. All will be ok.
Good luck.

2007-02-13 04:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋

You need to take a hard look at the situation and all the players. First take your family out of the equation. It's your life and you have to make the right decisions for you. The bigger issue is that this girl is self destructive. If she's cutting her self, she has some deep issues that you will either have to address or learn to live with. You'll also have to be responsible for her debt. It looks like her ex isn't out of the picture either and maybe she doesn't entirely want him out of the picture since he came to her house. You have to decide if these are things you can deal with for the rest of your life, if you love her and want to stay with her. You also have to consider that she is your first girlfriend and you may want to have some other experiences before you decide that you love her and she is the only one.

2007-02-13 04:00:58 · answer #5 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋

I can see why they are concerned....she's got a lot of drama going on and she may not be over her ex-boyfriend just yet. Your family and friends are worried because they do not want you to get hurt. If you continue to see her, may I advise you take it easy? You don't want to get involved in all the potential drama this relationship will bring. Sounds like she hasn't quite figured out what she wants and that is a decision she needs to make alone...Best wishes....

2007-02-13 04:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by onecrazypeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋

She is your girlfriend and you say you love her. If you do, you'll accept her for who she is because it's because of the past that she is the person she is today. You sound like a decent guy, so maybe you're what she needs right now. Keep her away from her ex and make your own decisions! Good luck.

2007-02-13 04:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lily 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋

Don't break up with her because of her past. LOOK AT THE PRESENT and the FUTURE. She currently CUTS herself. Not Good. I think if you were a positive influence on her, she would not do that. Hey, you're a guy, and you're going to do what you're going to do. Drama like this will not go away overnight. Deep down inside you know the answer. Walk, don't run.

2007-02-13 03:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by BroHam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋

Your decision and future shouldn't be determined by your family. Now you want to break with her just because of her past? I think you're very cowardly. Grow up and learn to love.

2007-02-13 03:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by Hanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋

Well its up to you who cares if shes over weight and has less schooling. Thats obviously not why your with her your with her bease you want her not your family. She does have a big past but thats part of what you get with her if you care about her it wouldnt worry you what evryone else thinks.

2007-02-13 03:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by lost_in_love_still 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋