Ok well me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we have a little girl together we arent married but he always wants to get married, well in the past he has done some pretty messed up things such as spending the night w. underaged girls (getting messed up too)) going off with friends to girls houses which everyone told me he kissed a girl there one night. But he gets mad at me for everything it seems like i cant do nothing right or i cant do nothing w.out him being near me. I love him but i think im not in love with him. He has this friend ive known since 9th grade and well i think im falling for him. He makes me smile and im happy when i think about him. Only problem hes what you call a player. My boyfriend hangs it over my head that if we were to break up he would take my daughter away from me and im scared for that. Hes so hateful sometimes and i mean he always wants to have sex no matter what. Im just confused on what i should do im scared he might take her away from
2007-02-13 03:39:33 · 23 answers · asked by [[<3]] 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just a little more details, im 19 years old and i live at home w. my mother. How am i nuts? Ive been to the doc i dont have anything she made sure of that because i told her everything and she gave me all kind of test.
2007-02-13 03:46:37 · update #1
Yes my mom has told me the same thing over and over. Hes said before that hes got the money and his papa can help him out and everything but see my daughter doesnt like anyone in his family she crys when his own brothers speak to her. I just dont want her to end up w. his mother because i dislike that women a whole lot she stole from my mother afte she got her a job and let her stay in our house. I just want real answers i dont want anyone telling me im stupid or anything.
2007-02-13 03:52:54 · update #2
Just to let everyone know, i dont do anything such as drugs or anything im a very good mother i mean i finished highschool even when i had a child and he really didnt help when she was born i would go to school always tired and wore out with getting up with her during the night. When she was born he went off and got drunk with his friend and came back cause it was his friends birthday as well. I thank yall for you're answers
2007-02-13 03:56:54 · update #3
I lived in the same situation and it took me nine years to finally figure out that this was not the best place for me or my kids. You must think ahead just as he does like when he is planning to play around on you. You are grown and your child is not and your child is the one you must protect. You cannot stay in this relationship for your child because children see, hear, and feel the tension and then your child suffers. As far as him taking your child, he is using that excuse to scare you. Does he really have the money to "take" your daughter from you? Doesn't sound like it sounds like he spends his money on him and playing. If you are caring, nuturing and not neglecting your daughter there is not a judge in the USA that will give him custody. Try not to worry because your daughter sees this too and she does not want to see her mom unhappy. Just think of her, you wouldn't want her to have a man like this, would you?
2007-02-13 03:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by jule1125 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to your question... but in case you are not 100% sure, maybe you should ask yourself if this is the type of love you deserve. Sure he may "love" you, why wouldn't he .. you have put up with his fooling around with other girls (underage and legal) and you are still there for him. He feels power over you because you let him. Do not listen to his threats of taking your daughter away from you. Unless you have some serious issues I doubt any court would take her away from you. He is probably more worried about his consequences if you leave ... financially, physically and emotionally. I would not get involved with his friend either - cut the ties, you are young and things will work out if you have faith. Good luck.
2007-02-13 03:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by Leah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would leave him. He sounds like a piece of crap, that is trying to control your life. If he is having sex with underaged girls, and doing stuff with other girls while he is dating you, then obviously he doesn't want to be with you. Also, if he didn't even help you with the baby after it was born then thats even another reason to leave him. He's not gonna get your daughter. Try going and talking to a lawyer, and ask them what you can do about it. Ask the lawyer questions like if you were to leave him would he get your daughter. I know he would have visiting rights because your both the parents of her. Maybe have someone watch him and have them decide if he gets visiting rights to your daughter. I was gonna say maybe going and getting full custody of her but I don't know if they would because you both are parents of her.
Don't go for his friend either. His friend might seem nice to you and very interested in you, but he might turn out like your boyfriend. The best thing for you to do, is leave him, and start your life all over. You sound like a very good and responsible mother. If the lawyer, or police, or whoever you talk to realizes that your a very good mother, then they will help you out. They will help you anyways, but they would be more up to giving you full custody of your daughter. Don't marry your boyfriend, and stay away from him and his family. You will find the man of your dreams one day and look back on all this thats happening and laugh. Good luck.
2007-02-13 04:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by sprintbabe_08 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, he can not take your daughter away from you. Dont buy into the threats, by the way stay away from his friend, its just not worth it. In order for him to take her away, he would need a good reason, if you go to court and mention his many infidelities not to mention sexual conduct with a minor which is also a capital crime, no judge will grant him full guardianship, joint custody might not even be in his cards. You have to be strong for your daughter, and take her away from that drama. Get your life back in order, spend some time with her, clear your mind and things will fall into perspective. You need to leave him, if you dont have the feelings to stay with a person than dont, its not fair to either one of you. Make a plan, figure out what you are going to do, and before you know it your life will be different. Its up to you,
2007-02-13 03:55:25 · answer #4 · answered by beygrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about losing your child. The court will not take a child away from a mom who has always had custody unless you are making bad decisions with your life.
Lose the creep who is the kid's dad. And DO NOT date other guys either.
Now is the time to concentrate on raising your child. Your sex-drive is not a priority. If, in fact, you want to date someone, it most likely would be used against you in court if a custody battle should ensue.
So, if you are smart, as a high school graduate- focus on your child.
Appreciate your mom for her help with your situation! (She doesn't have to do anything for you now. She is simply trying to help for her grandchild.)
I know that as a young person you like the drama and "romance" of dating people, but if you are trying to do what's best for your child, you won't bother with males right now.
Good luck.
2007-02-13 04:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by Avsky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a situation that is going to get better. He has no right to be threatening you with taking away your child. Get to a lawyer right now. Document any and all bad behavior on his part.
As far as this guy friend who you kind of crush on, that is natural to feel that way especially when your own life is in chaos. The last thing you really need to do though is get involved with another man. You need some strength on your own.
Good luck.
2007-02-13 03:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is no court in the world that will take your child away unless you are a abusive bad mother if you are a loving caring mom than u have nothing to lose and your man he is an idiot if he has a child with you and runs about he dosent want you he wants everything else let him go he isnt worth your time your better than that a man should make you his queen and hold you on the highest pedistal my wife is my everything and she will never be abused I love her with all my every waking second and she is my best friend I wouldnt want to spend one second without her!
2007-02-13 03:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by randd721 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is extremely hard to take a child from the mother. You would have to be totally unstable and a yucky mom for your daughter to be taken away! I would boot his butt out the door. You may love the man and share a child with him BUT remember you have a daughter. Is that a relationship you would want your daughter to be invovled in? I'm assuming you would rather if she didnt' grow up thinking that it is ok to act like daddy does????????? Think of your daughter and yourself. Do NOT stay for the reason being you love him.......
2007-02-13 03:47:10 · answer #8 · answered by ruddy8400 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would have to prove you were an unfit mother to take her away from you. It sounds like you could get plenty on him to keep her away from him if you so chose. Don't fall for the friend. When you are struggling with a relationship with problems it is so easy to fall for the first person that is nice you. You need to figure out what is best for you and your child.
2007-02-13 03:47:55 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Cranky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from him. He is just threatening to take your daughter away so that you will stay. I had an ex husband that did the same thing, but I finally got the courage to leave and I got to keep my children. Don't let him do that to you. You deserve better.
2007-02-13 03:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋