I have been with the same man for 25 years,15 years marriage,we have 2 adult daughters.He hurt his back at work 3 years ago and started taking tylenol,then tylenol 3,then percodan,percocet,then it got worse oxycotin,fentanyl patch,codeine pill for the pain.Now he is unemployed and really messed up on meds.What should i do.I still love him but we can't be in the same room,he just doesn't seem to want me around any more.Should i move out?
2007-02-13 03:28:26 · 22 answers · asked by countrykarebare 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is depressed about his life style and is taking it out on you. He needs to consult with his doctor to get a better quality of life that he can be happy about. He can always take some courses to do better himself and maybe find a job that won't interfere with his back pain. He needs to help himself now before he ruins his marriage in self pity. Feeling good about yourself is the key to being happy in life. Encourage him to get out and do something. Hang in to see if he does something good for himself. It must be terrible for you to live each day like this. You need to feel as though your loved by him. Hope this gets him up and out of the house. Cocoa
2007-02-13 03:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you married at a young age. Thus, when you married (like most young people) the idea of forever and "in sickness and in health" sounded great and completely doable. However, as most of us who are married have found, actually fulfilling our vows are much harder than we expected. Mostly because life throws us curve-balls that we could of never foreseen.
So the question then really becomes, whether or not you feel that the 25+ years that you've spent with this person building a life are worth the heartache you may be feeling right now. Remember, life is made up of the SUM of all our experiences not just the current trial and tribulations that we are feeling.
I strongly suggest you find a support group for spouses in your situation and if that is not enough you should seek counseling (being your situation can be very stressful and highly detrimental to your physical and mental health).
I commend you for sticking it out. Many people would of given up in your situation.
2007-02-13 03:42:18 · answer #2 · answered by jules_xcess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs more than just stronger meds. He needs a doctor who can really help him.
Of course he doesn't want to be around you. He feels worthless. Are you telling him he is?
For better or for worse babe. I'm sure you hope that if some disaster befell you that he would stick it out to help you through.
I can think of far worse things to have to endure in a marriage. This falls into the "bad luck" category. It is not nearly as good a reason to leave as an affair or abuse.
If you leave, it means when the going gets tough, countrycarebare gets going. Your husband's suffering will be so bad without you to help him through it. I feel real bad for you, but much worse for him.
2007-02-13 03:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes talk to his doctor....not sure where you live, but years ago my Mom hurt her back, then was in a car accident....after being on pain pills for a couple months...she couldn't take not being able to function properly anymore and couldn't deal with the pain either....one of the local hospitals had pain management in-house therapy (in-house meaning you check into the hospital) once they get the patients un-hooked from the pain medicine they used bio-feedback techniques and the like, it worked for her; perhaps your husband's doctor can go down that path with him; he's just as miserable as you are.........but now he's an addict as well. If I were you....I would try this route......hang in there!
2007-02-13 03:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hurt my neck, on the job, in 2002. Because it was work related, the insurance company denied most of my treatment except for the medication. I was in so much pain and took meds similar to what your husband is taking. I did not work for 2 years due to the pain. I eventually had to keep going to the ER just to get the insurance company's attention, not to mention I called them every day to let them know how much their lack of treatment was ruining my life. They finally broke down and did two spine surgeries. Now I work every day, virtually pain free, and do not take much more than an anti-inflammatory med. You and your husband have got to be proactive and bug the hell out of them. Do not let up until they break down and take care of him. Stay by his side......he will be a totally different person when he is not in pain and not on the heavy medication. My wife almost left me a dozen times because I was so miserable to be around. Once I was fixed, she was overjoyed to have me back to normal.
2007-02-13 03:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by Texas Horns 37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you done all you can do? Have you talked to him about drug addiction? Have you talked to his doctor about weaning him off the pain medication?
I know its hard when a spouse is out of work and you are holding down the fort. But what about "In sickness and in health"?
If you still love him, help him through this. If he was a good man before, he may still be a good man, but lost in a sickness, depression and addiction.
I wouldn't move out just yet. But, I also wouldn't let it continue you. Start by talking to him about it. I am sure its not a picnic for him, but maybe he doesn't know where to turn for help.
2007-02-13 03:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Does your husband have any options besides all these pain meds? Surgery perhaps? It sounds as though you should first see if you can find a different doctor that can truly help him. Maybe that might help ease the tension between the two of you.
2007-02-13 03:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by ladydi_1987 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely everyone has there own comments....i think of that's homicide yet u don't comprehend each and every difficulty. each and every man or woman has the excellent to get an abortion in the event that they choose or no longer. i comprehend somebody who have been given an abortion becaus there infant replace into going to be disformed and would die interior the 1st couple years of there existence besides and could be in agonizing soreness mutually because it lived....would u evaluate that homicide? Or do u think of something would desire to be added to the worldwide to go through and die? it certainly relies upon on the region to me. people who get an abortion via fact they do no longer choose the infant i think of is homicide base they might not have unfold there legs in the event that they didnt choose the infant. definitely everyone's opinion is diverse so i'm hoping I spoke back ur question? thank you, Kayla :)
2016-11-03 08:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by stever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
25 years and you want to live because he is in pain.... no girl the man is in pain.. you are his wife and hell he has to be cranky because all the pain.. before you look at this options at least try and get him some help.. DOCTORS... the computer you can find plenty on this type of injury.. do everything you can for him and then if nothing change or he refuse to get help to get better then you start other thinking.. but first try to help him.
2007-02-13 04:01:13 · answer #9 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has become dependent on his meds..when someone becomes a pill popper normal pain to someone becomes major pain for someone that starts abusing their pain meds..he needs to go to a different doctor and get off some of the meds he is on so his body can readjust to the way it should..
2007-02-13 03:39:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋