We came to Calgary together with our daughter last summer from Ontario, we've had our ups and downs, he wasnt happy with the job and I guess missed home so he said he wanted to go back without me, live with his dad until he can get us an apartment or something and then this summer when I finish my schooling out here I would go back to Ontario with our daughter and things would carry on. We were not broken up, it was a sacrifice we were going to make. I pretty much agreed with it because I know he's not happy here and I plan on going back and if he had us a place already that would help. He usually works 6 long days a week anyway, I've got my dad out here, my daughter, and school to keep me busy, besides, I've kind of wanted some time to myself to grow and he's been in the way of that, (long story) but I never wanted us to break up, we have a family together. Anyway he decided to go back last week, he drives for 48 straight hours before breaking down emotionally and coming back....
2007-02-13 03:11:02 · 8 answers · asked by Candy C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he comes back and now he's lost this job he didnt like in the first place but has nothing to back it up, he spends a week half heartedly looking through job ads, then last Saturday he decides he wants to go back to Ontario. This time he buys a plane ticket and in the same day packs his duffel bag and jets. He gets home and only one day later hes calling me on the phone saying he wants to come back. I said sorry, I dont think you should come back. This is the 2nd time you left, this is what you said you wanted to do so do it. I didnt say I wanted to break up with him, just that I think he would learn a good lesson if he stayed with his dad and got his act together (this was his 13th job in 3 years) and then I could work on myself too. Im 22 and hes 32, I feel like I"ve spent 2 years with child and I've lost myself, he doesnt understand that I need other mom friends and stuff so Ive been really isolated, I want him there so I can find out who I am and I find my own voice......
2007-02-13 03:15:09 · update #1
without him always telling me what to do. So now he says if I wont let him come back to Calgary then that means I'm breaking up with him. He calls his ex gf from there to talk to the 2nd day back, he calls me one minute saying hes gonna get a job there and get us an apartment then he calls today and says his dad paid for him to take a trip to Cancun, hes leaving Thursday coming back Sunday and going alone, but then he sees my myspace page is changed back to status Single and he takes a fit. I feel like he really isnt the one, hes a little too controling and hes not true to his word. At the other end of it, I havent really made a plea for him because I guess Im waiting for his to show me what hes made of. Ive been unsure of wanting to marry him, even though I have a child with him, I thought the next 6 months physically apart would help me figure that out. Isnt that something I should do for my own best interests? Anyway, does it sound over?
2007-02-13 03:20:19 · update #2
weve been together for 3 years
2007-02-13 03:21:30 · update #3
You need to have a serious talk. Did he come back for your or did he come back for your daughter? Maybe he is just emotionally stressed and you need to work out a compromise. It sounds like you want to make this work, and the only way to do this is if you reach that compromise. He obviously misses his family, however, he has a family of his own, that is a fact of life, you grow up and move on. Maybe when you finish school and search for a job, make it a city where neither of you have family , start anew, and concentrate on your little core family that you have now. It may or may not work, there is no guarantee in life or relationships, if he is unhappy, let him go. Remember do not stay together for the children, neither of you will be happy.
2007-02-13 03:19:01 · answer #1 · answered by vivib 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. Alot of people wish they had the best of both worlds. In his case, he wishes he could be with you and his daughter but still be home near those he is comfortable and familiar with. He also sounds like the type of person who is hard to please (the 13 jobs in 3 years is directly correlated to that fact).
If I were you I'd take this time to figure out whether or not I see a future with an individual who makes rash decisions, has a difficult time holding down a job, and is so difficult to please.
Remember, he will always be your child's father but that does not mean that you have to be his girlfriend.
2007-02-13 03:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by jules_xcess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A daughter, he should work 6 long days maybe even 7 stay with his family. He should come home from work play with his daughter get some food and get banged by you like there is no tommorow.
That is what being a good family is all about . No more of no less.
He needs to grow up and you need to be worry about your daughter and not who ended it.
For your daughters sake be a REAL women and give him the oppertunity to be a MAN. Tell him to get his *** home, get two jobs and bust his buns and try to save some energy because you going to rock his world at bed time. You two both got some work and growing up to do.
Good Luck!
2007-02-13 03:22:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your ready for him to move on and he is waiting for you to say "please come back to me I miss and Love you" but you haven't, so he figures why not leave.. no where in your story have you sounded like you regret the fact that he left and he may have felt the same way. you say it was a sacrifice and that you could carry on but i don't hear you say" I'm going to miss him or "I can't believe he could just leave like that".. what i hear is that you'll be OK without him. and that you can make it OK if he's not here...he's not getting a clear signal from you that you want him back. he's not feeling the love as they say.....tell him how you feel and be honest so he doesn't make this trip 10 more times...i just read your add- on about him calling his GF... ok dump him
2007-02-13 03:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You ended it. You sounded like you wanted out. I would pitch a fit too if all of that happened and then my partner put his status to single. That was extremely selfish of you. In fact you sound pretty selfish all together.
2007-02-13 04:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound like you love this guy, it sounds like you are pretty fed up with him. You need to figure it out if you really want him around.
2007-02-13 03:23:04 · answer #6 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a typical man who never grew up ! I bet you could find someone else in a second ! And you should !
2007-02-13 03:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a born looser. Why fight for this. He sounds like a child himself. Let this one go.
2007-02-13 03:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋