My hubby and I are separated and decided to get divorced, And yet today is our 8th Anniversary and it hurts an awful lot! I feel like we should try again but It will be wasted time. He cannot keep a job, always sleep and always pushes all problems away and piles them up on top of more issues. We have 3 kids together.I have to jobs and the last 1 1/2 years we lived together I paid for mostly everything. I know he loves me and I love him too, but I cannot raise an adult. Why does it hurt sooo bad today?! In all we were together since 1996, high school sweethearts. I need help.
2007-02-13 03:02:05 · 18 answers · asked by RR77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Edit: I meant " I work two jobs", Total misspell.(sorry) And also, We have been separated for 6 months already, living apart.
2007-02-13 03:42:30 · update #1
What I have to say is that if you feel like that today is normal. I mean you love this guy right? Then fight for your marriage...its never too late!!! You were brought to this world to be a victorious person in life regardless of what people say... you just cant say that you are tired and throw the towel...... maybe you have pride and its about time you let go of it. Tell him how much he means to you; how much you LOVE him. See I have only been married for a year and I went through that. He left me because the type of woman I was to him. But then again it was my fault... Though I fought for my marriage for a couple of months... Though you know who restored our marriage??? GOD restored it because I asked GOD in prayer he answered my prayers. So don't give up...SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!!!!! I hope these words encourage you to do what you have to do.....
2007-02-13 04:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by Brenda 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is very frustrating to be in a one sided relationship with one member not pulling their weight.
I know you love each other, but you know this is a toxic relationship and will never work.
He is a lazy and immature man, and has not taken life or responsibilty seriously.
You deserve to have a full partner in life who will be your rock, and he yours in good times and bad.
Sometimes we make mistakes in life when we choose, but all those red flags of yours are still waving in the wind. You know it won't work, but it makes you angry.
I think you need to look honestly at the situation from the outside and do not involve your emotions and you will see that you are better off now.
he would only pull you into the gutter with him.
I am not saying he is not a nice person, but does not have the tools to be part of a committment.
He obviously will let the partner take full control while he sits back and lets you do all the work and worrying.
This is a very selfish and immature attitude in life. He will get nowhere.
Be thankful that this Anniversary date comes to you with stability in your emotional life and the inner strength to continue without him.
You are a very strong person and deserve all the good things in life including an equal partner.
You have to love him enough to let him go and let God... You can't change him nor will you, no matter how many sacrifices you make.
You need to forgive yourself and start to heal from within.
2007-02-13 03:25:01 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends. If you are not willing to try to fix it, I don't know what if anything you should do for your anniversary.
I really hope you can fix this, but I of course don't know you. You can tell him what you require from him as a husband, and tell him if he can be that husband you would like him to stay your husband. But if he isn't in it for the long haul, then let's just end it.
I feel bad for you. He always sleeps? Has he ever gone to the doctor about this? I wonder if he has a medical condition.
I was tired all the time and had trouble staying focused at work - turned out I have narcolepsy. Funky drugs have saved my life on this.
If he can get to the doctor and take this seriously, maybe there is something he can do.
Good luck. Happy (?) anniversary.
2007-02-13 03:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it does hurt but you will get passed that. You know being together will be a waste of time so focus on the important things, your kids and yourself. Set a good example for them, don't allow a man to ever treat you that way because you deserve so much more and so do your kids. Enjoy life, pamper yourself, read a good book or do some volunteer work. Whatever it takes don't fall back into that rut with him, spring forward to a better way of living and loving.
2007-02-13 03:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Separation is probably a good reality check for him, especially if he loves you. This same thing happened to my parents, and they've been separated for a year. Now that gave them enough time to "See" other people, or not!, and realize how important they were to eachother, and how worth it it was for them to make drastic changes in their life. I know you love him a lot, but you probably need just as much time as him if you're confused. If you guys really love eachother, this separation will be painless and only result in positive, especially since so much change is needed. Just try to keep the transition easy on your kids, since too violent a change for them can lead to trust issues. Be honest with everyone in the family.
2007-02-13 03:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by JaHannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in kinda the same situation, coincidently we've been togeather since 1996 too. I know it hurts i really do but if you've already made up your mind that leaving is the only option then you have to just suck it up today and remember that being tough now will pay off with your happiness later.
I wish you the best, i know it's hard but if you know your reasons are valid you've gotta stick to them. Good Luck!
2007-02-13 03:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you are hurt. If you still love each other and you feel you want to acknowledge your anniversary just call him and say so. Tell him you miss the good times and from there you must trek on. You say you need help seek a therapist its best for you and you'll feel better in the long run.
2007-02-13 03:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are stupid, you are horney, and you want to cover up your mistake of marring a BOY that you made three kids with "but we love each other"
You need to go out get a couple of jobs and take care of thoes kids and NOT date. It's time for one of to grow up and be an adult. Or you going to end up raising three selfish boys instead of three aspiring young men.
Your "feeling" for this piece of trash is just being weak and lazy.
2007-02-13 03:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to ask in poetry and writing i feel they'll be a ton extra handy And present a few again circular on them so they have got specifications to make it humorous Thinking whatever alongside the traces of dick and jane satire in a mild fluffy supply might be humorous
2016-09-05 07:34:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give it anymore thought. He sounds like a lazy sleeze who need a rude awakening and divorce procedings are the only way to wake him up. You deserve someone better who can share in the responsibilities a marriage demands
2007-02-13 03:07:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋