My husband and I rent a house that my parents in law own. His mother and I have had our disagreements, as I'm sure most have. The problem is we also work together and that's where most of the arguments start. She is starting to go seriously crazy. I have been telling my husband of the weird things she's been doing when they're not there but he never believed me. Last week she finally started to get crazy enough to where he noticed and he apologized for making me work with her and said that he'd try to resolve the situation. They live at the same property of the business, so we go up to the house and have lunch and are allowed to use the bathroom, etc. Well, I had to get a clean towel out of the closet all of the sudden half of one of my sheet sets fell into my arms. I know she doesn't have any like it because my husband bought it when he was in the service. This is not the only thing she has "borrowed" without my knowledge. I found my favorite cookbook next to the stove one day.
2007-02-13 02:55:08 · 15 answers · asked by Farmer Chic 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know it was my cookbook because I always write my name on the inside cover. It was badly beaten up and most the the pages were either ripped or had something spilled on them. We are in the process of trying to buy a house and I would really like to say that she is not welcome there, but I know it would hurt my husbands feelings. What can I do in the situation?
2007-02-13 02:57:13 · update #1
She is studying to become a nurse and thinks that she knows everything about it and doesn't need to go to the doctor. She did fail the mental health portion of her schooling however. I've tried talking to her about her behavior before but, she refuses to listen to anyone. She is starting to think that everything we have is hers. She also comes down here on my days to work and e-mails her friends half of the morning when I have work to get done. It's as if she thinks that she has to watch me and make sure I'm doing everything right, when I am the one that taught her almost everything she knows on the about the computer, etc. She just does everything she tells me not to, and then I get the blame when she says, "we've always done it this way." My father in law knows about this problem. I never get into any trouble and he usually asks me to fix what she did, but it's the thought about the entire situation.
2007-02-13 03:24:18 · update #2
We had a great relationship before she started doing weird outrageous things, and it took me a long time to come to the conclusion that she has a mental illness. I am not the only one who thinks so, and it was not my idea to start with.
2007-02-13 04:30:24 · update #3
Wow! Talk about wayyyyyy too much togetherness. You live in a house she rents to you, and you work with her too? You need to make some changes, and fast.
First of all-Get another job! And try to persuade your husband to do so, as well. Working with his parents is a bad idea. He's never going to be a man in his own right as long as you're under their thumbs.
Second--MOVE! And when you do, don't give them a key, and set some ground rules so she doesn't have the freedom to simply take your stuff.
You'll meet with a lot of resistance from your husband, no doubt, but you need to separate yourselves from them. This is not a healthy relationship.
It sounds like you have a good relationship with your father in law. Perhaps you can enlists his help, as well.
One final thing---please visit www.motherinlawstories.com. There are some very kind, intelligent people who post there, that can surely give you some good advice, as well.
2007-02-19 04:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should push her into the stove while she isn't looking
just use your foot and kick her in the butt while she is bending over the stove, she will fall right in
then close the door and set the temperature on high for 5 hours
you have a new thanksgiving turkey!
Well she may not realize she is annoying you so much by doing this, since you did marry her son. So just tell her that if she is going to borrow anything to check with you first, otherwise you will slash her throat in her sleep in a ninja-like manner.
2007-02-13 03:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by doooooob o 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to have a talk with you Father -n -law and tell him you are worried and you think she needs some serious help. Tell him whats been going on. The man is in the dark if everyone keep covering up for her.
2007-02-18 01:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First move and find a new job. If she is truly showing signs of mental illness, then try to get her family to take her to a doctor. Mental illness only gets worse without attention. Lastly, learn to deal with her, she is your husbands mother, so she will always be there.
2007-02-13 04:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by kc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first I would advise you to get a place for yourself (you and your husband) and make it clear that she is not welcome there if she is not going to behave nicely. Your husband has to understand even though he may love his mother because you are his wife. Do not leave him because of her or she will win. Secondly, if you can find another job. The idea is to be as far from her as possible. This way she won't be in your space and "borrowing" your stuff.
AND JUST REMEMBER TO LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER BEHAVIOUR.
2007-02-13 04:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by chris19 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother-in-law needs some mental help. Your husband and his father should take her to a doctor to rule out any physical problems (brain tumor, Alzheimer's, etc.), and possibly to a psychiatrist, if her doctor recommends it. Good luck.
2007-02-13 03:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why you are actually asking questions about something you have very obviously, already decided in your mind to be true?
You have a preconcieved opinion about her. You'll therefore do everything in your power to back and justify that. Picking and choosing moments to use to prove your point at random.
It is manipulative if you ask me... She is still and always will be your husbands mother. Keep it to yourself and deal with it like an adult until you can get out of her way and out of her life. YOU are the one who is somewhere YOU don't belong... Not her. When a guest, act like one and show little respect...
I have been in situations where having to hold my tongue while dealing with people I didn't like, or want around me, made me seem a little nuts. Pointing out the obvious is just serving your agenda and nothing else... At least she isin't running back to your husband and telling him what a pain in the as*s YOU are...
2007-02-13 04:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
DOCTOR PHIL!!!!!!!
Matthew 19:5
'For this reason a MAN WILL LEAVE his father and MOTHER and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'
This is the time to love her even though you've been through so much with her.
You can Always Pray......FOR HER....
GOD Bless.....
2007-02-19 00:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect some latter-day Alfred Hitchcock is reading your question and concocting a film based on it...
Hope the house purchase goes through quickly!
2007-02-13 03:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to move and get another job too much time with the in-laws is never too good
2007-02-13 03:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by Pat B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋