My Husband and I have been together for 7 years yet I keep catching him lying to me. Like just today i found out he has been talking to his ex i dont know when it started i just know its recent. Or maybe its been going on a while who really knows. N*E*WAYZ... He said he had been talking this other female to get news about his first son which hes not allowed to see cuz he lost his parental rights. But i had a feeling something was up so i checked his email and found out that his ex and him have been in contact. Oh and by the way he has cheated on me with this girl before about 6 years ago. And his ex put him in contact with the other female. Now i understand he wants news about his son but why didn't he just tell me the truth? I would have asked when and how he got in contact with the ex but i have a right considering the past and all!
2007-02-13 02:48:02 · 18 answers · asked by sad&wondering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No why can't he trust me ?
2007-02-13 02:54:17 · update #1
We have 4 kids I've tryed to leave but he wont let me he bugges the crap out of me till i come back. he promises change changes for like 2 weeks and goes right back to being an a**!
2007-02-13 02:58:48 · update #2
when he cheated we were dating and he told me about and i can remember when we could talk about anything. but this last year hes changed. every number on his cell belongs to some chick not one is male except for family. and i hate that he can talk to them about anything and i get pushed to the back.
2007-02-13 03:37:10 · update #3
Sorry to say this, but if its been seven years and you still can't trust him, then I doubt very seriously if you ever will. I think its a lost cause at this point. The fact that he cheated on you, and is now talking to her and lying about it to you should be enough. Get a divorce.
*** It's not about him trusting you, Its about you giving him a chance to prove to you that you can trust him again. And he's failing miserably dear.
2007-02-13 02:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you can't trust your husband! Without trust you don't have anything going good in this marriage. Don't know how you've lasted this long. Take the "Bull"by the horns and say your leaving unless this trust issue changes for the good. True love is feeling content in a marriage not worrying every time you think your spouse may be lying to you. If he really does love you he wouldn't cause this unneeded stress. He either stops this going behind your back about situations dealing with the ex or you pack up and move on. Hope this helps! Cocoa
2007-02-13 03:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad situation when you find stuff like this happening. He's cheated on you but stays with you. He's more than likely cheated on you with his ex and/or other women over these last 7 years he's just being more cautious.
I'm currently hooked up with physical relationships/friendships with 4 women, all know about each other and their have been times when we all go out together and do things.
We have a very open honest relationships and don't hide anything. When someone is hiding certain things from a spouse something is amiss.
You may want to confront him about this before things get out of hand. Address your concerns and hopefully he will then be more open and upfront in the future and tell you what he is doing.
If he won't do this, you might consider preparing over time to leave this marriage and strike out on your own.
2007-02-13 02:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There comes a time in your life when you have to do what is best for you AND your children. If you have 4 kids, take a minute and think about what you are demonstrating is a marriage to them. I can't imagine that you aren't arguing in front of them, and even if you aren't, they can sense tension. (Even babies can tell when something is wrong) If you would like your kids to grow up and get married and have the same kind of relationship you have with your husband, then don't change anything.
It is hard to leave, and hard to survive, but kids grow up healthier and with a better idea of life if they see hard work as an example then an unhealthy marriage.
Good luck!! I hope things work out for you!! (Don't believe anything a liar says.......they're a liar.)
2007-02-13 03:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by memahizer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has cheated on you before using this same routine then you need to be very conserned. My advice to you is talk to him and tell you are not happy with this situation and if he doesn't stop it right away then you will end your marriage. You cannot live happily worrying what he is doing or saying with his ex and its very disrepectful for him to put you in that situation besides it sounds like he is a slimeball anyway for already cheating and then talking with the ex who got it started in the first place. You really can do much much better than that and tell him so. Your way or the highway in this situation.
Hope this helps and good luck
2007-02-13 02:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly concidering the past and all.... he should know better than to keep thing's from you, he must realise that ur mind is now doing over time! God these men just dont think about their actions! Just explain how you feel to him, explain that ur not annoyed he is talkin to these women just a bit confused as to y he wouldn't mention it and if he dosen't show any concideration towards ur feeling's then i seriously suggest u get rid... can u really live ur life wondering if he's talkin to another woman an u dont know about it? Look out for ur self! Good Luck! xx
2007-02-13 03:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by tracy y 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if you have been together that long and you know he's still lying to you about small stuff...what other BIG things are there that he's hiding from you. That's a long time to be with someone you don't trust. If you can't trust him now, why do you think you'll be able to later on?
2007-02-13 02:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, he is never going to change. If he's been lying for that long, he's already set in his mold.
I wouldn't put up with this crap. Why are you still with him? Because you "love" him? It's a one-sided relationship.
Without the L in lover, it's OVER. Be strong and move on.
2007-02-13 02:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that he doesn't trust you. He just doesn't want you to know what he is doing. He is obviously trying to hide something from you, and you need to figure out what. You should confront him about it and tell him you are not going to take it anymore. One more lie, and you are gone. And if he does lie again file for a divorce. Show him you are serious. If he really loves you he should want to share everything with you. My fiance tells me everytime that his ex emails him or if he happens to see her at the bar. It doesn't bother me because he tells me about it. He doesn't hide anything from me.
2007-02-13 03:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
typical male wanting to have his cake and eat it too. This man has a cellphone full of girls numbers? Is talking to his ex on the phone, and is hiding it from you! You know what you need to do is either suck it up or move on.
2007-02-13 04:49:03 · answer #10 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋