Im 18 yo and so is my boyfriend we've been going out for 4 months now and now Im pregnant. I am stil at college which i shud be finishing soon and Im working in a retail store hes at college 3 days a week and is Jobseekers Allowance because he hasnt got a job. (im from london) When I found out I was pregnant i was a bit shocked but a bit happy and so was he, and today he sed to me we are not ready to have a baby.
that we cannot afford it and that wer too young.. i cried my eyes out.. he mentioned abortion I cried and fought for my baby sayin i can afford it and can go thru it.. but then i thought hard and agreed wif him.. now he says because i am upset over this to keep the baby because he dont want me to hate him or love him less..
I dont know what to do..
someone help me :'(
2007-02-13 02:36:54 · 37 answers · asked by someone24000 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I totally support anyone who makes the decision to get an abortion. It's your body and it's YOUR choice!
But, if you want this baby, then you will find a way. It doesn't matter that you are still in college and you have very little money, you can still make it.
My mom was 18 when she had my brother and she had no money at all, then she had me at the age of 23, and still had ZERO money, but guess what?, SHE STILL MADE IT and took care of us kids and we are just fine!
I don't think money is important, what is important is your LOVE. If you love this baby and you want this baby, then go ahead and have it and God will help you the rest of the way. Also, I am sure that there are government funds that can help you pay for certain things for your baby.
In America there are govt funded medical programmes and there is food-stamps and day-cares. What types of funding do you have in London, hunny?? Check it out and see if you can get some help (if you choose to keep the baby).
Only YOU can make the decision to have the baby or to abort. It is up to you and only you. I cannot make the decision for you.
Whatever your decision is, you need to think about what you are going to use for birth control. Are you going to use condoms? pills? patches? foam?sponge? You need some sort of birth control, hun.
Good Luck and God Bless
2007-02-13 02:47:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
There is no easy answer, first of all adoption can be a option as well. Don't kill or give the baby up because of him, men come and go, if he really loves you he will support your decision. I'm sorry that you have to go through this when you're not quite ready but talk to your parents they may be able to give you some hope towards a solution you can live with. Just remember it's your body and no one else has to live in it or with it but you. Complications from an abortion can prevent you from having children again, if you were to do an open adoption you might even be able to see your child being raised by loving people. Some couples will even allow your child to know that you are their real mother and that to give them a better life you let someone else raise them. If you want the baby keep it, and if things don't work out look towards adoption. If you don't feel you can do this and abortion is your only choice, make sure the doctor you go to is reputable. Good Luck and God Bless and I hope you make a desicion that is right for you AND the life that is growing inside of you.
2007-02-13 02:43:39 · answer #2 · answered by tylw85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it certainly appears that u have a lot to think about. Have u considered adoption? There are families out there that can't have children and would take wonderful care of your baby. I had an abortion when i was 17 and it was the hardest thing i have ever done. My ex asked me to get an abortion with my second child and i was so angry and hurt. I had the baby anyway despite what he said. I was a single mom and it is tough but it is an experience that makes you find an inner strength that u never knew u had. You also have to ask yourself about the guy u are with, do u see a future with him? Is he somone you want to spend your life with? Think about this long and hard, i don't want u to make a decision u might regret later in life. Also remember to that there is no inbetween when it comes to kids....You either want them or you don't. If you want to talk to me some more feel free to contact me at spacelee666@yahoo.com. I hope i have helped a little bit i know that this is not an easy decision to make
2007-02-13 02:48:12 · answer #3 · answered by spacelee666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mandolinmama: Oh my god you have got to be serious. Are those really real? That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, it made me feel physically sick! Some of those babies look full term!!
I'll just give you my opinion, don't do it. You will regret it in the future. It may be hard at first but when your baby is born, you will make yourself manage. That will be your precious baby and you will do anything for him/her. And your BF will be the same. Take him to the scans etc and as soon as he sees your baby's heartbeat he will know you have both done the right thing.
I don't think you really want to do that and I don't think your BF does either. I think he is just scared of the change it will bring and the not knowing, which is normal. Read a lot about pregnancy and birth and get him involved so he knows what it is all about. The more he knows the less afraid he will be as he will know a little of what to expect.
2007-02-13 02:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if i were you id think long and hard before you act, decide first if you are strong enough to deal with the thought of aborting your baby, its not a foetus or embryo of any other fancy names, its a baby. i had a miscarriage 2 years ago and believe me that was bad enough the thought i couldve done it deliberatelt woud have been too much. i know a girl who aborted her first baby and has regretted it everyday for 4 years. at the end of the day it comes down to you, you must deal with it whether or not your boyfriend is there. im 15 weeks pregnant and also in my first year diloma and i know i can go back to it when the time is right. being pregnant is one of the best feeling you will ever have, dont just throw that away. make the right decision for you. oh and dont look at the pictures on the website, no one needs to see that.
2007-02-13 02:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by Şơƥɦɨȩ'ȿ ♡Μυɱ˗Μυɱ♡ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not listen to anyone on here who tells you whether or not to have an abortion. Do not click on the link above to see the pictures.
Talk to someone - counsellor, GP, Samaritans, any friend
Get all your feelings out in the open and then make an informed decision which you are happy with.
No one is ever ready for a baby - no one (apart from the priviledged few) can afford a baby.
But people cope once they have made the decision (either way) because they know they have made the right decision.
The fact that you have said you are happy about it does indicate that you should keep the baby.
Do not abort the baby because your bf wants you to,
make your own choice.
2007-02-13 02:49:19 · answer #6 · answered by broken_uk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont do it!!! If your already messed up about the thought of abortion then you'll really be messed up after the fact. Your 18 years old, I know your young but u can do it. I wasnt much older than u when i had my baby ( just turned 20 when i gave birth, was 19 when i concievedAnd yes u will end up hating your b/f if you get rid of the baby. Everything will be okay, your almost done with school, remember it takes 9 months to have a baby...all that while u can continue your studies and your b/f needs to step up and get a job, but please dont abort!!!!! Good luck okay?
2007-02-13 04:17:22 · answer #7 · answered by marinewife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me start off by saying I'm on the fence regarding being pro/anti-abortion. I can understand that people might abort because they're not "ready" for a baby - but I think the "financial" argument sounds very hollow. When you look back at your life, I don't think it'd be ok to say "I would have kept the baby if only I had some money at the time".
It might be hard but if money is the only problem, it's solvable. Of course, if commitment, stability etc. are bigger issues then you have more thinking to do. Best of luck.
2007-02-13 02:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a baby growing inside of you, and you ask about abortion? If in the end you cannot support this baby, give him or her up for adoption and at least give them a chance to be someone. Theres no reason to jump into abortion. I think daddy needs to get himself a job and learn to support a baby, and if not do what you decide is right for YOU not him. You dont need a man and he doesnt control your relashionship or this little person in you. Dont let it work that way. I gave birth to my first son at 16, finished school, worked two full time jobs, went on to college, married bought our first house and im now pregnant with my third. Things are possible IF you want them to work, they will work. Keep that in mind, but please dont let this man control how you feel. In the end if you listen to him and have an abortion you will regret it. 10 years from now, you probably wont be with him anyways
2007-02-13 02:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend did this when I found out I was pregnant - now she is 17 months old and number 2 is on the way!
Whatever you do don't make a decision based on him because he is confused as he has shown by changing his mind twice already.
Do waht you feel is right, if you decide to have a baby he will probably come round and support you like my boyfriend did but be prepared for the fact that he might leave you and you will have to raise the child alone.
Also if you have an abortion be prepared to feel regret and sadness for a long time afterwards.
2007-02-13 02:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋