He has repeated 6th grade. I thought that would make him care. It didn't . He is now in 7th grade. I am told he has above average intelligence. His handwriting is horrible. He hides homework from me. I go through his backpack at night, so IF he does it he doesn't turn it in. The boy has a 0% in critical thinking and a 39% in literature. I have talked until I am blue in the face, tried couseling, tried reward systems, restriction,tried essays as to why education is important, spanking when he was younger I have talked to the teachers. Anything I can think of, I have tried. I have even have a corporal in the army give him drills. I am at a loss. I am afraid that he will quit school when he turns 16. I can't seem to get through to him. Even when he gets home from school and actually does his homework, he acts like he hasn't paid attention all day and needs me to explain all the work over, and then expects me to give him the answers to his homework. I am at a loss. PLEASE HELP!
2007-02-13 01:42:50 · 15 answers · asked by cappe2572 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Primary & Secondary Education
I have had his eyes checked, I work full time so I can't home school him. His father works evenings, but when he is here, he doesn't know what to do with him either. I have met with his team at school, and they are doing all they can do, next to doing it for him. I know he has lots of friends, I have met most of them and they are good kids. I know he is not doing drugs or anything like that. The absolute only problem I have with him is school. We have switched schools, thinking that would help but it didn't. At this point I am totoally out of ideas.
2007-02-13 01:44:14 · update #1
is he good on the computer?? try online schooling.. so he doesnt have to wake up early.. nad you can check what he does daily... and if it scares you to just let him on the computer all day and he will look at bad stuff.... then just block alll sites besides the HW one (professionals can do this)
good luck
bless your heart
2007-02-13 01:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by bubbles m 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have read the previous answers and concur with some of the answers. You should get him tested to see if there is a learning disability of some kind. You can request testing at the guidance office and the school team should agree. Going to look for a job may be an idea. Let him see what is needed to get a job. He needs to find a goal. Then he can work toward that goal. Find out what he really likes and research it. What can he do to get to the thing that he really likes. Here there can be a reward system too.Boys do go through a time around middle school where they do not know where they are going. But you mentioned problems from an earlier age. That is why testing is needed. Was there a starting point of the problems? An event that lead to the decline? Art therapy is a means of drawing out problems in children. If there is an art therapist in your area I would suggest that after educational testing. Something is bothering him(my daughter is an art therapist and I have discussed many problems with her). I am a retired middle school teacher who has seen many cases. The suggestions I have made I have made before and seen them work, but not always. Good luck
2016-05-24 05:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion, and you may have already done this, is to isolate him with standards when he gets home. You need to stress the idea that school is his job and his only responsibility at this moment in life is school.
I would remove all distractions from his life (TV, video games, friends, phone, computer, etc....) and force him to complete assignments by showing you his completed work each night. Completed work equals TV time, computer time, etc...
Also, have him tested (again, you may have done this) to make sure he does not have a learning disability and is not in need of special education services.
Finally, take an interest in the things that he is interested in. He is 13 and is trying to emerge into his own as a person. This is a critical time for him to discover who he is and for you to support that growth. Just make sure you integrate the importance of school into that maturity.
If all else fails, discuss with his school the option of alternative placement or isolation.
2007-02-13 01:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by The Education Doctor 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
have you had him evaluated by the school? Sounds like it could be any number of things. From simple stubborness to possible attentional or emotional issues.
If it seems like he hasn't paid attention all day, perhaps it is an attentional issue.
Also, what is his social life like at school? Is he being bullied by someone? Kids often hid that sort of thing. Are there issues at home? Could he be missing some attention from his Dad? Kids often feel that they have little say in their own lives. Doing or not doing homework is the one area they feel they have absolute control over. This may simply be a control issue. You may just have to "break him".
If you have him evaluated and there is nothing physically or emotionally wrong with him then the bad news is, it's up to you to stay on him.
One of the ways we work with classic under achieving kids is by having a very close relationship with the parents. I have student that fits the description of your son almost perfectly. What we have done is this: He is required to keep an assignment book where he write his assignments in every day. Each teacher has to initial it, even if there is no homework. He is NOT allowed to even leave the school building until it is complete. If his parent comes to pick him up, she first asks to see the book. If it's not complete, he has to go back into the school and get it signed. Then she checks his backpack to be sure he has all the books he needs to do his work. If he's missing anything...back into the school he goes.
The mother keeps in touch with the teachers via email. If he fails to turn in homework, he has a detention and has to stay after and do the work. He is required to stay after school three times per week and work with individual teachers that he is currently doing poorly with. (this student excels in math but pays little attention in other classes).
When he goes home, he has 1/2 hour to "chill". Then, he has to work in 30 minutes blocks on his homework. His mother checks his progress. After each 30 minutes block, he is allowed to get up and take a break for 10 minutes or so, then back to work.
He is allowed to participate in activties that give him a physical outlet (very important at this age, especially for boys) but no TV, Video games, computer (other than for school work), cell phone, etc...He is also allowed to attend school social functions (dances, sports) but that is it. All other time is monitored.
His mother checks his work when he is done to see if it was completed, and when he is all done, she checks to see that it is all in his backpack to go back to school.
So far this seems to be working.
I feel for you. This is a tough issue. The best thing you can do is get on the same page as all his teachers and work together. If what you say at home is getting reinforced at school, he can't avoid it. Kids bank on adults not communicating with each other. And they will play us against each other if they can.
Request a "team meeting" of all his teachers and work with them on a plan to help him develop some better habits. They may suggest that you have him evaluated for any learning disorders or emotional/mental issues. I would do it, even if it's just for your own peace of mind.
Good Luck!
2007-02-13 04:06:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs something to make him want to do his school work. For example: when I was in grade school there was this girl in my class and she was having a really hard time, didn't want to do school work, etc. and her parents said that if she passed all her courses, she could get a Nintendo (which @ that time was the coolest game console). She passed all her courses with flying colours. Maybe you son would benefit from something like that. It is amazing what kids will do for something they really want.
2007-02-13 01:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My little brother was the EXACT SAME WAY! and my mother took him to the doctor to get him on medication for "A.D.D" (attention deficit disorder) it is a real disease, it maybe that he CAN'T concentrate vs. not wanting to concentrate in school. It is wonderful of you to put your foot down and try all you can to make your son sucessful. Someday he will thank you for sticking to your guns, even though it seems like you are the only one that cares right now. You are doing the right thing, good luck!
2007-02-13 01:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by MOT-XJ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Does he listen to music alot? If so, you need to get him Flocabulary; it's a system that teaches through hip-hop. Don't worry about language; I checked it out myself. I wish I had something like this when I was his age. Here's the link to the site if you want to check it out: http://www.flocabulary.com/hip/rappershandbook.html. I don't know if you remember, but the people who created this were featured on the News.
2007-02-13 02:13:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have him pick out a goal, something that he wants to work towards, a game, going somewhere special, going out to eat to his favorite place, just something special that he wants to do. Once he makes that goal it is up to him to work towards it by turning in homework, doing good in school and getting his grades up. If you see the progress then the gets the reward, that special item that he is working towards. Good luck, I hope this help.
2007-02-13 01:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by brighton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know the value of money? Now that I'm an adult, I sure wish that i had studied a lot more when I was in school!
2007-02-13 01:51:47 · answer #9 · answered by Christopher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you had him drug tested?some children aren't good students no matter what help or training you get for them...
have you thought about a vocational program for him,
a tradesman in the next 10 yrs is going to earn big money
the country is going to be facing a shortage of skilled blue collar workers..
this is not a bad thing .... have you asked him what profession
he wants to go into when he grows up....
another solution is to put him up for adoption.....
2007-02-13 01:59:35 · answer #10 · answered by tom t 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋