Hello,
every body
would you please help me I have too many problems.
when I looking for the reason, I found out the root is self- confidence is weak.
I've suffer of this problem since I was a teenager & now every thing is getting worse & worse.
I hate all the people I can not trust them I always think they are going misused me
I'm too sensetive & it hurts me
Im depressed & it s effect in my behavior and all the thing is getting worst.
I know my English is not ok
but I hope you forgive me
you are the people whom I can trust them
please help me
2007-02-13 01:41:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
A lot of us have grown up in environments that lead us to believe that we cannot trust anyone, and that we are not worthwhile. I haven't explored this a whole lot with other people, but the two seem to go hand in hand. It believe it comes from having a negative atmosphere growing up, and we grow up with a negative self-image, whether it is deserved or not.
That being said, there are some things that can be done. Obviously, talking to a counselor/psychologist is a good option, as they may be able to help you if you suffered specific trauma, as well as possibly help with trust issues, because that can really become a problem in relationships and such. Trust issues are very common and most counselors/psychologists should be able to help you through that.
On the self-confidence front, here's a little exercise that you can do that will help some with self-confidence. It will seem a little conceited, but it's OK.
Make a list of things that are good about yourself. Include at least 10 things not related to physical appearance, possessions, or performance. Most people find it hard to come up with 10, but I guarantee that there are 10 about you.
So here are some things that might fit... kind, funny, hard-working, etc.
Then, once you have the list, start looking for those things and think about them. So, when you're talking to someone and you say something kind to them, just take the time to think 'hey, that was really kind of me.' When you say something funny, think 'hey, I'm really funny.
I know this seems kind of corny, but it really works. Over time, you gradually think more and more positively about yourself.
By the way, if your self-confidence level has sunk to the point of being depressed, etc., definitely see a counselor. It is not a shameful thing to admit you need help and get it. If you have been seeing someone and it's not working, look somewhere else. Just know that you are worth whatever it takes to get there.
2007-02-13 02:39:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about your english; it's good enough for us to understand.
This is something that will take hard work, patience and time. Don't expect that you will build your confidence up overnight. Just as it has taken years for you to be where you are at now, it will take time to undo.
The first thing is, like someone suggested before is to start thinking to yourself that if you do not believe in yourself, then you cannot exepect anyone else will. Start by using that as a motivator.
The next step is to get your hands on as many (self) motivating materials as you can. Dr. Vincent Peale writes some exceptional books - start with "The Power Of Positive Thinking" - that changed my life for the better.
Simple things that you can work on right now is having conversations with the doorman, the security guards for the building, the person who sits next to you on the bus (if you use public transportation) Make it an EVERYDAY ritual to have a conversation with someone who you would normally pass by without saying a word. Ask how's it going, how's the weather, etc and do listen and pay attention to the response. Introduce yourself to someone. Strike up a convo with the guy passing out leaflets on the corner if you walk past one, little things like that. I can't stress getting self help materials - U NEED TO. And please, please do not expect to fix this over night. Give yourself time. Self confidence is something you (and all of us) have to work on for a lifetime.
Good luck!
2007-02-13 04:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by Slim Shady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had your same prob... What worked for me may not work for you but here it goes...
1.. read self-help books and soul searching
2.. Talk to your DR.
3.. when in thought remind yourself to think positive
There is always someone out there that will always have problems/obstacles yet how we handle them is the outcome.
You are not alone.
Don't worry so much about what people think of you..(unless they are someone whom you can trust).
Trust is hard, yet if you don't try..you will never know the beauty of a relationship. We all take risks when in a relationships and when we get hurt, its helps us become stronger and mature.
You have a big heart...and care or you wouldn't be asking for help.. Good for you.
I can tend to be sensitive too, yet I try to stop and think optimistic. Also, If you feel someone has mistreated you, be courageous and ask them to explain their words/actions.
You are the only one that can make You happy.
2007-02-13 01:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything, you need to stop being so hard/critical of yourself. You need to love you. The person you are inside. Are you a good person? That's a start! There are many free sites on the internet to help you speak better English. You can practice in the convenience of your own home/work, that will help boost your confidence! Try joining a local womens workout facility, you can meet lots of other women and form friendships! Or you can join a church group. Try volunteering to help @ your local hospital or senior center, that will definately make you feel good about yourself when your helping others! Try praying, that always helps!
2007-02-13 01:55:54 · answer #4 · answered by kim s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello there. My answer may not be the best but hopefully it will help you out some. If you don't believe in yourself no one else will. You have to believe that anything is possible and the sky is the limit for you. Never give up just keep going. When things start to get hard keep going. Push through it, it will make you a stronger person. Don't give up!!
2007-02-13 01:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by A. Dean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o0o0o0..excuse mee....don be compleXxXed...don think in that wayy....that ur english is not ok...it Is ok mamm....we can understand it...i just wanaa advice uu..that DON BE COMPLExXxXxED....PLZzZzZzZZZ....don be fuss....just think that u R confident girl...u can do0o0 everything..that u wantt...n try to do those things..which u ever get rattled n confused...as far as ur english is concerned..for improving english..try to use dictionary..for the difficult words..n try to speak in english,specially short sentences...n take deep breath,daily,specialy..in morning..it will surely help u to improve ur confidence...God bless uu mam...good luck!!! :)
2007-02-13 01:53:31 · answer #6 · answered by student of honorZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get some self confidence, learn to tell others quietly "to fuzz off"!
2007-02-13 01:46:49 · answer #7 · answered by Street Smart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to believe in yourself
2007-02-13 02:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥happening♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy,...sleep with a sex god like myself. You will be cured!
2007-02-13 02:11:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋