How can I stop my ex from moving my child across the country?

Question

I am an addict in recovery with 19 months clean time. My ex-husband divorced me and got sole custody of my daughter three years ago while I was in jail for drug related offenses. (She will be 9 yrs old in March 2007) He has blocked every attempt at contact. Recently, the court has ordered visitation. I the first visitation was supervised by my daughter's court appointed Guardian Ad Litem, and after a few minutes of hesitancy, it was like we had never been apart. The second time was unsupervised at my elder daughter's house. When he dropped her off, she acted scared to be left with me until he left. Then she was affectionate, loving, and we had a great time together. She was also extremely happy to see her siblings, whom he has cut her off from also. When it was time for him to pick her up, she again acted fearful of us, and refused to take with her the gifts we had given her. Now he has filed with the court to move to Arizona. Just getting visitation has already drained me financially.

Answer 1

You are either going to need to fight for custody or fly to Arizona to visit. Try and see if there is legal aid in your state/county. If you do not have the financial means, then you may be able to find an attorney "pro-bono" or at a minimal cost. What ever the cost--it is worth fighting for your child. You are a great person with obvious good character traits if you have been able to kick the drug habit. I am proud of you. It is great that your children are now a priority in your life. Make sure the courts know that. Also there is always your option to fight for your child yourself. you can "Pro Se" motion the court. Get letters from drug counselors, friends, a probation officer if you have one, whoever you can. Pour your heart out to the judge, see if you can get joint custody. You don't need a lawyer to get the point across--it is heart and soul--especially when it comes to someone who has done great in the recovery of addiction, and is trying to be a mother to her kids. Your husband has resentment, and rightfully so, if the drugs controlled your life. But for him to bring your children into it is wrong!!! Fight for them, and in the mix of things don't forget to keep fighting for yourself--you need to stay strong to keep the drug habit kicked. Good Luck, congrats on your sobriety and god bless you in your endeavors!!!

Answer 2

Immediately contact the Guardian Ad Litem, and/or the court. Your ex is emotionally abusing your daughter. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see it.
Your daughter is fearful because her father is in constant brainwashing mode being very emotionally abusive towards her when she is at home with him.
Your daughter needs to be examined by a child psychologist immediately. The Guardian Ad Litem can go to a judge and request a court order for this examination and tell the judge what is happening.
Once this exam is completed and the child psychologist gives the results to the court i'm confident that the court will stop any move out of state and may refer the emotional abusive behavior of your ex to the County Prosecutor for the filing of a felony level child abuse charge.
I'm not kidding your ex if he is in fact doing this is committing felony child abuse with this type of emotional trama being applied to your daughter.

You could call Child Protective services in your city immediately and make this report, have witnesses that can verify this and don't let them brush you off. Demand an investigation and immediate psychological exam for your daughter. If they find he's doing this he should be criminally charged, prosecuted and imprisoned in a state prison in your state.

Emotional Abuse is far more harmful and takes longer to overcome than 95% of physical abuse.

Answer 3

I Think the child is afraid of her father. If she is reacting differently when he is around, its because he has made it known his feelings about you and she may be afraid he will treat her badly if she shows feelings for you, which is so very sad. He is using her as a Pawn. I agree with alot of the answers I have read here. if she is worth having, shes worth fighting for Mom. Call legal Aid Immediately. You need to Block his moving "before" he moves out of the State. It will be even harder to get her back after then. He may have Sole Custody, but the Courts have granted you Visitation now, and this may be the main reason for your X Husband's moving... Be Strong!!!

Answer 4

I am also a Guardian Ad Litem and I can tell you that if your husband has sole custody he will be allowed to move to whatever state and where ever he chooses to.You are entitled to visitation but it will all be at your expense.The fact that he has sole custody really put's you in an unfortunate position he will be allowed to move out of state and you will have toi pay to go see your daughter..I really hope that you have stopped all your drug abuse and are now on the right road to remaining drug free you have clearly seen how you robbed yourself of your children and you have robbed your children of having you.Also MICHEAL...T...Has no clue what he is talking about..Your husband has sole custody of your daughter because of your drug abuse and no judge is going to stop him from moving to another state...

Answer 5

It must be hard for you and your daughter may have a say if you can get into court but I see your ex point of veiw I would not want my child with a person who had a history of drugs and been in prison. These were choices you made in life and now you are paying a high price.

Answer 6

your best bet is to suck it up and get an attorney, a good one because chances are you will lose your children otherwise. try to get a loan or borrow the money from family, possiblly your parents im sure they dont want to lose their grandkids, they too have rights as well so they can also fight her. but keep in mind that most jodges do rule in favor of the mother ESPECIALLY if: you have some criminal record she has good reason to move such as a new job, or husband she can provide better means for your children. if those are true then she has a good shot of moving out of state BUT she will be forced to send your send your kids to you so many times a year. and her being the one to pay for the flights.

Answer 7

you should tell the judge when you go to court how your child acts when he drops her off and when he comes to pick her up and allowing him to take her that far will only make things worse. ask the judge to have a court order evaluation done on your daughter's mental state. at least this can buy some more time.

Answer 8

I think you need to get to a lawyer and have him or her file for a pshycological evaluation on your daughter cause it does sound as though she is scared of her father realizing she had a good time with you . Why she would not take the gifts with her is the fact that she may be scared that her father would throw them out or something . I know when I was little and my parents divorced I used to go to my fathers house and my step mom would give me something ,anything the minute I got back to my mom's house she would take it from my hand and throw it in the trash and she would tell me to my face . You dont take anything from that wh--e she broke up our family. so she might be hearing the same stuff you dont know what goes on behind closed doors. good luck .

Answer 9

Get to legal aid and hope they can make a case against his moving. Perhaps file a request for joint custody.

Answer 10

Get off Yahoo answers and get to an attorney. That person is in a position to help you. I am sure there is legal aid in your state based on the income.
That is your best recourse.