I have a 13 year old son who doesn't care about school at all. I have tried what seems to be everything.?

Question

He has repeated 6th grade. I thought that would make him care. It didn't . He is now in 7th grade. I am told he has above average intelligence. His handwriting is horrible. He hides homework from me. I started going through his backpack at night, so IF he does it he doesn't turn it in. The boy has a 0% in critical thinking and a 39% in literature. I have talked until I am blue in the face. I have tried reward systems. I have talked to the teachers. Anything I can think of, I have tried. I have even have a corporal in the army give him drills. I am at a loss. I am afraid that he will quit school when he turns 16. I can't seem to get through to him. I have tried counseling. Even when he gets home from school and actually does his homework, he acts like he hasn't paid attention all day and needs me to explain all the work over, and then expects me to give him the answers to his homework. I am at a loss. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have also tried essays as to why education is important, spanking when he was younger. I have had his eyes checked, I work full time so I can't home school him. I am totally out of ideas at this point

His father works evenings, but when he is here, he doesn't know what to do with him either. I have met with his team at school, and they are doing all they can do next to doing it for him.

I know he has lots of friends, I have met most of them and they are good kids. I know he is not doing drugs or anything like that. The absolute only problem I have with him is school. We have switched schools, thinking that would help but it didn't.

Answer 1

This seems to be really stressing you out and I can totally see why. You really seem to have thought of every way possible to get through to him. Except - and I know this is probably not what you want to hear - actually giving him a taste of the real world.

Let him go out and try to look for a job. He'll soon see that very very few places will be willing to take on a kid with no qualifications. Anything he does manage to get will pay very poorly and be very meanial work.

Let him know that if he's no longer in school he will have to contribute to all the household expenses. Make a list of monies he will need to pay over to you - mortgage/rent, gas, etc. even money for food, laundry,TV, etc. He will find it next to impossible to meet these requirements. And will hopefully seee that life isn't all its cracked up to be without a proper education behind him.

Aside from all that, i'm no expert, but it sounds as though your son's above average makes him frustrated in school. I'm presuming he's in a regular school/class, so perhaps he is acting-up because fo frustration. Also, and i'm sure you've already considered this, does he have friends in his school? Or is he being bullied? Very often, if a child is feeling isolated in his surroundings, he can act as your son is. Perhaps a total change of school would do him good?

Answer 2

I have read the previous answers and concur with some of the answers. You should get him tested to see if there is a learning disability of some kind. You can request testing at the guidance office and the school team should agree.
Going to look for a job may be an idea. Let him see what is needed to get a job. He needs to find a goal. Then he can work toward that goal. Find out what he really likes and research it. What can he do to get to the thing that he really likes. Here there can be a reward system too.Boys do go through a time around middle school where they do not know where they are going. But you mentioned problems from an earlier age. That is why testing is needed. Was there a starting point of the problems? An event that lead to the decline? Art therapy is a means of drawing out problems in children. If there is an art therapist in your area I would suggest that after educational testing. Something is bothering him(my daughter is an art therapist and I have discussed many problems with her). I am a retired middle school teacher who has seen many cases. The suggestions I have made I have made before and seen them work, but not always. Good luck

Answer 3

Well, I am 13 years old and is also in the 7th grade. A lot of kids in my classes that are guys don't really like the teachers, maybe he has a problem with them. Or maybe he may be WAY to frustrated or distracted and he can't pay attention in class. I think that he is probably too distracted from something or someone. You should give him some time on his own, maybe he is getting too much stress from school and at home too. So give him some time alone and see what happenes.=)

Answer 4

I think the answer the 13 yr old gave was good advice.
I really believe it is the age. My son went through a similar thing at that age. My step son's mother had problems with him too. Boys at that age have a lot going on. And most of the time, don't even realize it. They are going through a lot of changes.
I firmly told my son that anything less than a C would not be acceptable to me. And then I just backed off and trusted him to do it. I never saw another D. I didn't care if he didn't turn in his homework as long as he didn't get anything below a C on his report card. And that he didn't get into trouble. I wouldn't tolerate detentions either.
He came out of it on his own in high school! He was on the National Honor Society and graduated w/ high honor.
My step son finally came out of it on his own too! And is now a Jr and was accepted into a special computer program and goes to the college half a day.
As long as you are sure that there is nothing physically wrong with him and that he is not involved with drugs or the wrong crowd, my advice is make sure that he knows what would be totally unacceptable to you and then give him space and time to work it out for himself.
In a couple years, driver license and driving privileges are a great motivation for them to do good!
Make sure he knows that you love him. Be careful not to make him feel like he's bad or dumb.
Just hang in there. It will get better.
Of course, this is just my experience and oppinion.

Answer 5

I have study the previous solutions and concur with different solutions. you may want to get him examined to work out if there's a getting to understand incapacity of a few variety. you are able to request attempting out on the training workplace and the college crew might want to agree. Going to seek for a job might want to correctly be an theory. allow him see what's significant to get a job. He desires to hit upon a purpose. Then he can artwork in course of that purpose. discover out what he truly likes and study it. What can he do to get to the element that he truly likes. the following there's a advantages gadget too.Boys do go by potential of a time round middle college the position they do no longer understand the position they're going. yet you reported issues from an previously age. this is why attempting out is significant. change into there a starting up aspect of the themes? An adventure that convey about the decline? artwork remedy is a fashion of drawing out issues in children. If there is an artwork therapist on your area i might want to point that once academic attempting out. something is bothering him(my daughter is an artwork therapist and that i have reported many issues such as her). i'm a retired middle college instructor who has considered many circumstances. The concepts I have made I have made previously and considered them artwork, yet no longer always. sturdy success

Answer 6

Hmmm! This is a tough case. I would recommend that you meet with your son's in building team and discuss your concern's about your son. Next, I would be interested to know what role his father is playing in his life, plus what motivates him? I don't recommend tha a child in the 5-12 grade be retained unless summer school is not an option.

Answer 7

if your son is of above average intelligence then you need to have him tested to a higher grade. my brother flunked out of high school but was reading books on quantum mechanics (and understood them) in jr. high. a lot of times kids have failing grades because they are bored-it doesn't challenge them and they feel it's not worth their time. really see about getting him tested ahead!!

Answer 8

you may want to have him tested ,to see if he has a learnning problem, too have his eye,check,,so kid are slower in school than other,,, too you may want to think a bout home schooling

Answer 9

tell him that if he doesn't get good grades and stuff gurls won't want to date him (thats all i can think of)