unfair world!?

Question

what i wanna know is me and my partner have been trying for a baby for months and months ive had sex on whats meant to be my ovulation days and still nothing. what i dont understand is there are all these people having abortions and getting pregnant under age (which is no life to bring up a baby) and people having one night stands and getting pregnant. what are peoples views on this?

Answer 1

Stop trying so hard, just let is come. those people who are getting pregnant arent trying at all, they are having sex for entierly differant reasons. Just stop putting so much pressure on yourself

Answer 2

I can understand your pain. We tried for 2 years (between deployments) before we were successful. You say you have intercourse "on what's meant to be" your ovulation days. Do you know for certain those are your days? Are you charting? Using ovulation prediction kits? I find a lot of people simply use the standard "14 days after the first day of your cycle" and that's nice for some, but not all. I suggest you find the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." Its an excellent help!

A lot of people seem to think you should have sex a couple times and BAM you're pregnant. Trying for several months is normal. Don't stress. Take heart in the following facts: Every time you have intercourse (unprotected) a woman has about a 20% of conceiving. On average, 20% of all couples trying to get pregnant will not conceive in the first year of trying.

According to one study, 25% of couples get pregnant in the first month of trying, while 60% of couples trying to get pregnant do so within six months. On the other hand, 75% of couples get pregnant within nine months while 80% get pregnant within a year. Finally, some 90% of couples get pregnant within eighteen months of trying.

Also, try to be less judgmental. A young mother (underage as you put it) does not doom the child to a horrible life. That is a very hurtful thing to say.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

I got pregnant under age if that's what you want to call it, but my baby died and it killed me. I loved that baby just as much as my two girls and the one I am carrying. I was so depressed and felt like part of my life was taken away. Mothers day that year was very hard and when it came time for my due date, It killed me. The baby might have not be planned but it was still mine and it hurt me very badly when it was gone. I had my daughter at 17 and my second daughter at 19 and I got married after my miscarriage and so ALL 4 of my kids have the same daddy and I think that I raised them very well. At least I have taken responsibility for my kids and didn't dump them in a trash can. Just because I was a young mom does not mean they had a bad life. I am sorry that you want a baby and are having trouble having one, but damn don't try a belittle young moms. Yes abortion is wrong and yes it makes me sick to hear about people killing their babies because they don't want them. You have a right to be mad about that, but do NOT say that my kids will Have a bad life Because I am a young mom. My kids are wearing huggies that I bought them and they have new clothes and shoes. I am really sorry about your hard time having kids, but I am a very good mother, so I would revise your question.

Answer 4

I felt the same way when we were trying to conceive our 3rd. It took years! And it seemed EVERYWHRE I looked someone was pregnant. I would hear of young girls getting pregnant and thinking nothing of it; this would just make me so upset. Then I just came to the conclusion that our family was just meant to be the way it was. Yes was. Seems as soon as stopped my focus on getting pregnant I did. And it was a wonderful surprise. Just when you think you know your plan He changes it just a little. Good luck to you! I know it's hard to not focus all your time on a pregnancy, but it you do it just might happen. Try and pick up a new hobbie or start something that keeps you envolve and your too busy to think about a baby. GOOD LUCK ~ I've been in those shoes before.

Answer 5

I know...its frustraiting. The world seems to be upside down sometimes. Just like slaving away for peanuts, while your lazy boss does nothing and lives in a mansion....

Here's a little advice for trying to get pregnant. I thought it was simply a curse that followed the wives of my husband's family, but I found out later that its actually a custom in some third-world countries. When you want to get pregnant, borrow someone elses baby....the younger, the better. Take time to cuddle them, smell their skin. My husband and I had two children, and went for seven years without birth control, and no third child...until my nephew was born. I wasn't even thinking about getting pregnant. In fact, after seven years, I had given up on it. I was only thinking, "I love the way baby's smell." My brother's son and our third child (a daughter) are almost exactly 1 year apart.

Good luck. It sounds like you have a lot of love to give to the world.

Answer 6

that your somewhat judgemental and you need to be more patient.
I know people who have tried for YEARS befor they became pregnant. My sister in-law just had a miscarriage. after trying for a loooong time. Shes had MANY miscarriages.

just because someone gets pregnant as a teen doesnt mean anything. who knows maybe some of them can give a baby a better life then any mother on this site, you dont know all teens and their situations so dont start with that.

So what people have abortions. Its their option. Them having an abortion has nothing to do with you.

how is it unfair???? you just need to be patient and keep trying. talk to your doctor and have him/her help you chart your cycles and ask for tips on TTC.
personally i think your pretty hott headed and judgmental, chill out a little and wait until its the right time for you to have a baby.

Answer 7

i think you are absolutely right it is terrible how these undeserving people get blessed with such a presious gift, i think people sould have to get a lisence to have children, like sit a test before they concieve and if people dont have a licence they cant have children, if they accidently fall pregnant they should be tested during pregnancy and if they are not fit to bring up a child they should be forced to hand over the baby to a deserving couple that cant conceive themselves.
i agree with you fully it isnt fair, i feel sorry for the children

Answer 8

It's a bad deal....I think you should try on a couple days before ovulation and a couple days after...think of all the sex you get to have...seriously, I'm with you...I don't know why god would do this...there are sooo many people who would love a child and can't have one...it's not fair...bottom line I don't get it! Good luck to you and your partner!

Answer 9

Well I was in your shoes for about two years and I couldn't stand the thought of these people killing their babies and not realizing what miracles they have when people like me hadn't been able to get pregnant.
Lots of people share our veiws and lots don't. All I can tell you is don't think of it as baby making just enjoy making love with your partner, once my husband and I gave up on making a baby and just started enjoying and appreciating each other two months later we were pregnant.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Sometimes life doesn't make sense. My whole life all I wanted was to have beautiful children with a big house and a fenced in backyard...I find out I have PCOS and so far we haven't been able to conceive yet, sometimes I get so mad and frustrated and then I calm down and say its all in gods hands and I know I will conceive one day! Good luck!