Should i stop talking to him, even though i don't really want to?

Question

Im 15 and i talk to a 29 year old from Yahoo! Answers. We have been talking for about six months or so and we fell in love. I know it's a weird feeling and i seriously consider stop talking to him. I don't want to though. He has had bad luck in love all his life and he talks to me, a fifteen year old and he fell in love with me too. It looks like he is desperate and i do want to push him away from me. I tell him all the time to get someone, to go out there and get a girl so that he won't like me anymore and that we will stop talking. The only problems is, is that he is trying to avoid that. He is always saying that if i was his wife.. If he was my husband.. etc. He told me on many occasions that maybe it's meant to be for us and that maybe God put us together this way. It is probably believable. I have become obsessed talking to him and we email every day. He told me one day that he had a sexual arousement when he was thinking about me. He was afraid that i would stop talking to him if

.. He told me that. He did and i told him that it freaked me out but i didn't stop talking to him. When i talk about my male friends he gets really upset or jealous and avoids that. He gets angry when i respond so late and he admits it's jealousy. How do i deal with his behaviour when im not going to stop talking to him because i don't want to? I know it's illegal but i still want to be his friend, but how do i deal with his jealousy?

Or let me say, how do i deal with his obsession? He claims he isn't but he emails me every day and checks on me every day too, he thinks about me at times, that's what he claims. But do you think it's meant to be?

Im obsessed too and i cannot tell my parents. I would get killed if i did and i wouldn't be able to use the internet ever. We are considering meeting when we are 18 years old. By the time i probably have someone and i told him that, he would be jealous but wouldn't come after me though. I try so hard to push him away from me but he keeps on coming back. Now he told me i would get something for Valentine's Day. Do online romance's work out?

He does think about waiting for me. Which i find a silly idea of him. He once asked as a joke when we didn't like each other if i would be his online girlfriend. When i tell him we are just friends he gets upset or walks away from those words.. Thanks for all the help.

Answer 1

There's a whole lot of life and learning that goes on between the ages of fifteen and twenty-nine. You are just starting out in having meaningful relationships and the attention must be wonderful. he, on the other hand, has admitted to "not being lucky" in life. What does that tell you? When a man of 29 says he loves a girl of 15, that means no real woman his age would have him.

Look around you and at yourself. There are millions of healthy relationships to be had, but you want the one that's convenient. Anyone can keep up an online relationship - it's the in-person relationships that are the real work - and the real prize. Don't de-value your worth. Grow up to be the woman you are meant to be - and it do it with people your own age. You'll have a lot more in common and you can take your time learning about men.

Sounds to me like this "man" is more of a boy - but not the boy for you. :-)

Answer 2

Oh my god. That's really creepy. You might not understand it now, but when you're older, you will not look at a 15 year old and think that's normal for a 29 year old to be attracted to them! And even worse than the age difference, he sounds controlling. Controlling men turn possessive and violent. Look it up online if you don't believe me, being overly jealous is a big sign of what's to come and it's a HUGE red flag. But see, if you were older, you'd have a better understanding of what's normal and what's not. He is not normal. I know you probably aren't going to take my advice, but do not give him your phone number or address. He's manipulating you and taking advantage of the fact that you're so young and naive. If your only contact is through the internet, it's fairly easy to lose contact with him. If he does have a way of finding where you live and he doesn't leave you alone, tell your parents. You need to be dating boys your own age. You will meet someone that really cares about you someday, but you need to get rid of this guy.

Answer 3

Be very careful. Some people on chat places like this are not who they seem. I'm not saying that this guy is not genuine but its not normal for a 29yr old guy to be latching on to a 15 yr old girl like this. Some men 'groom' girls on the net and lull them in thinking they are safe they eventually meet them and this is not always the right thing to do. if i were you i would find a way to block him. if he is freaking you out then there is obviously an alarm bell ringing somewhere and you need to take note.
It may be flattering to get mails from guys older than you but their intentions are not always as innocent as they appear. You're 15, he should not be telling you that he becomes aroused talking to you, that is wrong of him!
If i were you i would tell an adult that you trust about this, they may be mad at first but they will help you to sort it out, they will have your best interests in mind and as a 29 yr old woman i would say stay well away from this man.
if you need someone to mail to talk more about how you feel please feel free to mail me. i am genuine and am very concerned about you. seek help from an adult please. let me know how you get on. good luck

Answer 4

there are many things in life which we dont want to do.

my advice to you would be.....
he is pretty elder to you. even if you DO meet and happen to be in a relationship, think about the consequences. think about the future. he is obviously a grown man, being 29 years old. he would need things from you which you cannot give him for many years to come. he could ask you for sex, living in together etc.

seriously speaking, at this age, you dont want all that. you need a cheerful existence. and at this age, there are other things which you need to worry about such as doing well in school etc.

you dont want to spend the rest of your life regretting getting into any kind of relationship with this man.

and seeing that he is being possessive, its natural that he cares a lot for you. however, you have seen the red flag already, as he sometimes gets too possessive.

here are the following options for you:
1. stop speaking to him altogether.
2. restrict your relationship with him to the internet alone. (too Utopian)
3. tell him to wait for a couple of years until you grow up.

confused as to which option you should choose?????

rely on your gut feeling........

Answer 5

No it is not Meant to be.
A man that is 29 years old communicating with a child of 15 years in this specific manner has a big problem.
You know you are young and Innocent and he knows it and he is taking advantage of you.
Decide make a choice even though it is difficult because it is only gonna end up with you ending up in a hole meaning that he is gonna push you so much in this fantasy that he is gonna have control over you.
You know there is no nice way to say this..
But you are playing with fire...STOP

Answer 6

I could see how his obsession has infected you with stress. I don't want to say you'll experience more in the future. But be careful. It's always not good to accept a proposal from a frustrated person. Keep your instinct and know whom you're. But if you're willing to stop talking to him, I'll agree with you. It will help both of you. The earlier you stop talking to him, the earlier he will overcome his frustrated heart over u. By keeping him, he might think one day things will be better (which could happen to anyone). So follow your heart and instinct. But handle with great care. All the best.

Answer 7

First of all he is 29 and you are 15 that is a 14 years difference. I suggest you stop talking to him. he can get into alot of trouble for what he is doing. and he may be just saying things you want to hear. the next thing he going to ask is for you to meet him. You need to speak with your parents and let them know what is going on. DELETE HIS EMAIL ADDRESS AND IGNORE HIS EMAIL. If you are really trying to avoid him you can.

Answer 8

you cant love someone you have never met

he is in love with your words just like you are

you need to stop all together
no emails block them no im's either

he needs to be a man and take life for the good and bad not regress into a teen again

and you need to be a teen hang out with your friends and dont worry about grown up things you have 3 yrs and the world will be at your door step enjoy life while you can

the both of you are feeding off each other
you want to help because it is in human nature to help someone in need and you are still young enough to be dumb (not bad) enough to want to help
you have not been take for or screwed so you want to help as you get older and get taken you stop wanting to help others

Answer 9

U realy have to tell him point black u don't love him rather u just like him, if he tries to avoid that then mmmm streach ur beautful leg and kick him off with his desperateness,mo over he is mo less like your grand pa right!!