married for three months, my wife keeps questioning my love for her, she wants me to spend every day next to her, i go to play football about twice a week which iv cut down from 7 days a week to two days, u can see my waist line increasing : - ( which she complains about now lol, iv cut down just so my wife knows i put her first in my life and she’s my number one priority, also don't go out with Friends at all, i do all activities with my wife and i do anything she asks but still questions my love and it’s a bit annoying now. she says she feels lonely all the time even though i suggest to go out with her and spend all my time with her but refuses to go out any where etc i love her dearly but its not good in the long term where i cant have my space without being questioned of My Love and i don’t put her first, if she does not like something i say or do, she will treat this with silence and wont speak to me which hurts me very much which i feel is very unfair, any men & women wth sugstnz
2007-02-12 23:47:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Welcome to married life
2007-02-12 23:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by No I Dont Like You 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
It sounds like your wife is feeling down. Women often get this after the wedding. There has been such a lead up to the wedding - planning, people fussing and always something to arrange or talk about, that when it's over, women can get what they call post wedding blues. Or maybe she is insecure? Has she has loss in her life before you? Lost a close relative/s or very dear friend? People who have experienced great loss when they are younger, can need a lot of reassurance that they are not going to loose you too.
Why not plan a secret romantic weekend away or take her on holiday? Even just a lovely meal out or cook for her and light the place up with candles ready for when she gets in?
Just do something to show her how special she is to you. This will make her feel loads better.
You also need to chat and explain your feelings, but do try and be tactful - it sounds like yuor wife is hurting for some reason.
2007-02-13 02:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will happen when you first get married. She wanted to get married to be with you. Some women are more huggy, and clingy and want you around all the time. She feels loved and safe and that she's number one with you. Give her a little time. When you have a baby, don't worry, she will not want you to touch her while she's pregnant, then when she has the baby, you won't be able to for about 6 wks. then she will put the baby first ahead of you, she will be all about the baby, she will hold it, feed it, change it, be up at night with it. Then when you have another child, her time for you will diminish more and she will be so tired at the end of the day she will not want you to touch her. She will be all consumed with the children!!! So, don't worry, you won't be so important for long!!! ha I'm only half joking! This happened to me and my husband. We had a child right away after being married, then a miscarriage, then another child and all I had energy to do was take care of the kids, housework, etc. We went through 10 yrs. where the kids came first and our marriage was on the back burner. Now after 15 yrs of marriage the kids are big enough to give us some free time and we've finally gotten closer and back to knowing each other. So enjoy the time when YOU are the most important thing in her life!!!!! As much as you hate it now, there may come a time when you're not so important!!!
2007-02-13 00:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, you should not have given up your free time, even for your wife. Yes, some of the time, but not as much as you did. You and anyone else who's married, deserves free time with friends or doing hobbies. Introduce her to people, hopefully she'll make some friends and will leave you alone a bit.
I'd say she emotionally manipulated you into giving up your football. If you don't put your foot down, she'll manipulate your entire life, and then you'll end up hating her. Talk to her in a calm manner, without insults and yelling, and explain that although you love her, you just cannot and will not spend 24/7 with her. Then, after that, it's up to her to trust you and your word.
2007-02-13 00:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and do something routinely with her,such as taking walks, working out at the gym, learning a new sport, go fishing (very relaxing).
encourage her to have some time with her friends, volunteer locally. take up a new hobby. Be supportive of her interest, hopefully it will addictive!
It does sound like she may be a little depressed and is clinging onto you. if it gets worse perhaps you can talk to a therapist or a local clergyman.
you are in a new marriage, building a foundation. There will be difficult times but good communication, love and respect for each other is paramount for success.
2007-02-13 00:02:04 · answer #5 · answered by IPnlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop pandering to her, I understand that you love her but if you keep responding to her manipulative tactics she will never change and may even start to lose respect for you. I suggest that you keep the footie down to 2 nights a week, but arrange to go out with friends every so often and maybe she will start to do the same. Keep being a good husband not a good doormat. Good luck x
2007-02-15 09:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by Dimples 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that her constant questioning of your love for her is making you feel a little under pressure (perhaps) to act in a certain way (again, perhaps).
She might be a little insecure at the moment, maybe she has her reasons (has she maybe put on weight.....lost confidence for some reason or another).....
I could waffle on but above all you just need to talk. Iron out the minor things before they become major bug bares!
2007-02-12 23:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by sarahscarah78 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has a very low self esteem and is becoming relyant on you. She needs you around 24/7 so she doesnt have to be alone - she is not happy with herself. You need to help her keep her independance by forcing her to do things on her own or with her friends - even if it something as simple as doing the food shopping on her own. After my husband and I got married I put on a few kilos and got really depressed about it so my hubby pushed me into swimming on my days off - something so simple gave me my confidence back and it also gave me some time alone - and my hubby!! You also need to reassure her regularly that you love her and she is the centre of your universe!! God us women are pathetic arent we!! All the best and remember it could be worse!
2007-02-13 00:01:00 · answer #8 · answered by lillypud 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's fascinating! hahaha... i have never met such a possessive wife that maybe cute at times, cause you know she really loves you, but i definitely agree with you, if she keeps doing that your relationship won't last long... she got to give you your own privacy and space for you to breathe. Talking to her won't help since she's a bit possessive, try other tactics, tactics or drama that will sent the message to her as clearly as needed.
2007-02-13 00:06:16 · answer #9 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me the different day...i asked a query related to the moody broody BB dislikers and alot who spoke back have been BB followers who agreed, there would desire to have been somebody who did no longer to have it deleted...its a shame truly cos my factor became that in case you probably did no longer like some thing being asked...then do no longer answer it in case you haven't any longer something appropriate to declare.
2016-09-29 01:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her what you wrote in this question and ask her how she would handle it. Dont tell her you wrote it, just print it and show her. When you hear her answer then you sit and work out a mutual agreement. If she doesnt change then the marriage will not work, when we hold too tightly to love we lose it.
2007-02-13 00:09:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋