theres a girl ive known for 2 years online who lives in canada, i do love her, and i want her to want me to. im worried because i feel very needy of her and obsessive to. she consumes my thoughts just latley. but latley to im despairing thinking , what do i have to offer her? im 29 im battling an undiagnosed mental health problem, i live in a small flat, with no materialistic possessions, ive never worked because of my problems. im in the grip of a deep depression everyday, where i cant even get dressed or have any energy to do the dishes. i cant even brush my teeth sometimes. this girl, i feel commited to her & want to make things permenant with her but im scared if she finds out about my real life circumstances, she'll leave me...i tried to have it out with her last night and said, you wouldnt really want me if you knew the truth,im dealing with possibally bi polar. i didnt say poss a mental illness because i thought it would sound to severe. she said she wouldnt turn her back on me.
2007-02-12 23:36:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
but i still feel insecure about it..i have a very low self esteem and worry how im going to keep her and maintain the relashionship...i feel she illuminates my life, my life is such a despairing dark place right now, a lonely isolated place, and she brings me light and hope in my life. i love her, and im so scare she'll leave me. because i cant make her be with me and accept my bagage
2007-02-12 23:39:38 · update #1
shes 20 im 29...im ageing physically..i have two, front, bottom missing teeth..
2007-02-12 23:41:02 · update #2
my self worth is non existant
2007-02-12 23:41:39 · update #3
what can i offer this girl i love? how will i keep her?
2007-02-12 23:42:35 · update #4
I agree with the other responses. You keep her coming online so she obviously likes your personality and what you have to say. That (to me) is half the battle of getting a girl to like you - getting her interested.
Now you definitely have to focus on getting diagnosed and start taking medication. Fix yourself up as much as possible. You need to find a way to get the money to see the doctor and get the medications. I'm guessing that your financial situation is rough without a job (which probably means you don't have health insurance). You need to find out (possibly from someone else on here) if you can find a way to afford a good doctor visit and prescriptions.
2007-02-13 00:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by Bluefast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an ONLINE relationship. She will probably never experiment what is like to be around you in every day life... So if you are friends this way and she's known you for 2 years, I don't think the fact of knowing of your illness will take her away from you. She has had this relationship with you so far, illness and all, so I don't think being frank about your circumstances will end this. It doesn't affect her directly...
On the other hand, don't torture yourself about it. I am going through a bit similar situation to yours, and I believe right now that if you have something beautiful, cherish it while you can, without thinking all the time that you will eventually lose it. And she actually said she wouldn't turn her back at you! So good luck.
2007-02-13 08:40:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything, go see a doctor and get diagnosed so that you can begin medication. It may take several tries for your doctor to find the best antidepressant for you, or whatever it is that you need. So you need to begin that before you come out with "everything" and before you go any further with this girl. Just maintain the relationship as it is until you find yourself getting better. You will see, after you find the proper help, you will start doing better in all aspects of your life. There are so many medications for everything you said that is wrong with you. There is no reason to avoid getting the proper help. Think about it this way, do you realize that it is probably your mental state of mind (the depression, or whatever) that is keeping you from doing what you need to do to get help? And once you actual get help and the medications are working, you will feel good and you will want to take care of yourself. That will allow you to do more with your life and think about it, you will most likely be able to live a pretty normal life and be able to offer that stability to this girl you love. So hang in there, and get help!!! Please!
God bless you and I will pray for you.
2007-02-13 08:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sort out some of your problems so that you can be with this girl. Perhaps the thought of her will motivate you to get the help you need. She obviously sees something in you that is worth getting to know, so that's a good first step towards realising your own self worth.
Good luck!
2007-02-13 08:15:48 · answer #4 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you then she will love who you are. Im guessing since your undiagnosed that you arent on any meds. that would be the first step. if you cant afford to go see anyone then go see about getting assistance for help. If she means as much as you say she does then youll do whatever it takes to make yourself better.
2007-02-13 07:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you need medical treatment for your condition, and keep taking the pills the doctor will prescribe you! Only then can you address your other problem with your friend! Have a good day!
2007-02-13 08:22:34 · answer #6 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to her to tell her the truth, regardless of the outcome!!
If you have all the problems you say, either she will understand and want to stand by and help, or she will opt out....in either case you have nothing to lose.....Have you been to a doctor? Bi polar is treatable....Be up front, lay it all out and see what transpires, don't dribble about saying you wouldn't want me if you knew the truth....so mysterious and unfair to her and yourself!!!!
Frankly, I wouldn't want you, you're so down on yourself....Despite your problems...try and have a positive attitude, that is bringing you down more than your life!!!!
2007-02-13 08:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to seek help now. sounds like this girl has made you maybe want to seek it. she is making you come out of your shell and think. maybe bring about change . seek help and get your life going . for yourself you deserve a life go for it. you are young and you need to get going or else you will be writing this question next year.now is the time to act.
2007-02-13 08:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by terri e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, I´ve read most of your questions ,and I have given you advice as so many others and I´ve got only 1 thing left to say:::
WHEN WILL YOU START ACTING UPON ALL THIS VERY GOOD ADVICE THAT YOU´VE BEEN GIVEN?????
you keep posting very similar questions so it seems that you´re not satisfied with the answers that you get...I´m sorry to say so, but it seems that you´re so selfabsorbed now, that you aren´t able or wiling to follow any advice...you never say "I´ve tried this or that" so what is it that you want from us???? I SUGGEST YOU READ ALL THE GOOD ADVICE YOU´VE BEEN GIVEN LATELY AGAIN AND ACT UPON IT....TRY AT LEAST ONE THING AND TELL US HOW IT WENT...
2007-02-13 12:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋