My boyfriend played me. He broke my heart. (Boo hoo, yeah I know). He told me he loved me & only me. I knew what his status was & believed every word he ever said to me. Come to find out I wasn't the only person that he was playing! He also played "His Wifey"!!!! Yeah dude is "married". I suppose you can say that I was the fool waiting for the "divorce papers" to go thru...silly me!!! But in reality I guess I just played myself. I "am" still in Luv with this married man...go figure!!! What can I do? My brain says to kick him to the curb, but my heart says to hold on, you know what the situation is, give him another chance (No not to do it again). I know what the real truth is! As much as I am a victim in this senseless triangle, he too (believe it or not) is a victim as well. Not just to the drama & BS, but to the verbal abuse & mind manipulation. I need help. I am so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have known him since high school (over 25 years). Does time account for anything???
2007-02-12 23:06:26 · 6 answers · asked by bratyme_1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He wants the best of both worlds. He has his wife for security and you for fun.
Many people have gotten into trouble by only following their heart and not listening to their head. You need to ask yourself the following questions and answer them honestly. They are hard, but necessary.
Has he actually filed for divorce? Or is this just another empty promise? What would he do if you told him he had to choose between her and you? At his age he's thinking about what he'll have when he retires. Is he willing to lose at least half of it to his wife in a divorce settlement?
Have you actually witnessed this "verbal abuse and mind manipulation" he supposedly is a victim of, or do you believe it just because he told you so?
How did you find out he was already married? From him? Or did he "forget" to tell you that and you found out another way? You may have known him for 25 years, but apparently you don't know him as well as you think you do since you didn't know he was married. So time doesn't really account for much of anything here.
Your heart says to give him another chance. How many "chances" have you already given him?
Is this "prize" worth catching? He's cheating on his wife; how will you ever trust that he won't cheat on you?
Are you truly in love with him? Or are you only in love with being in love?
Are you settling for him because you think you can't get anyone else?
And the main question -
Are you willing to spend your entire life in the same situation you are now? Believe me, he's willing to let you do it.
Only you can answer the above questions. With honest answers, you should know what to do here.
2007-02-12 23:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this scenario plays out millions of times. You need to have more respect for yourself that he doesn't get to have the prize (you) unless he is single. On the flip side, you need to stay away from married men. You are using terms like drama, mind manipulation, verbal abuse, BS, victims as an excuse to rationalize your and his behavior. Don't let that junk confuse you. Boil it down, he's married so stay away. You're wasting time that you could spend building relationships with other people.
2007-02-12 23:18:32 · answer #2 · answered by John 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he couldnt be honest about being married, then why would you believe anything about his problems with his marriage? There are always two sides to a story, you need to move on.... if you dont and you end up marrying him what makes you think he wont do it to you? once a cheat always a cheat in my book.... good luck
2007-02-12 23:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he lies to his wife and has an affair why wouldnt he do it to you?If he really loves you you would see proof hes divorcing his wife but on the other hand comming out of one bed and jumping into mine would make me nervous.Let him divorce and give him some time to sort things out.this is a triangle and you dont want to be a part of it.move on
2007-02-13 01:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by bearman48064 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you got played bad. He doesnt need a second chance, he needs to work on his relationship with his wife. and You need time to heal and think. Let him go, once a cheater always a cheater.
2007-02-12 23:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is on the nature, in your next relationship don't trust be wiser.
move on and dont think about him is not worth it
2007-02-12 23:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by RED ROSE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋