After 11 years of marriage, my marriage has broken down. Issues of domestic violence and emotional abuse were the cause. It has been a gruelling past 4 or so years. Unfortunately I never stopped thinking about that boyfriend I had when I was 22 and have many dreams and thoughts about him, probably mainly because things were so bad in my marriage. I recently heard that his marriage had ended, and I almost cry when I think about that. I wonder if you think I should try to contact him again! If so how, and why? I feel nervous with the thought of it. He married young at 22 when his then partner fell pregnant and being catholic I think his family thought it was the right thing to do. I always had this feeling that there was a strong bond between us and if the dreams would just stop then maybe I could give up the memory! what do words of advice do you have
2007-02-12 22:37:44 · 8 answers · asked by ericksonclare 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Answers are fantastic thanks, however I feel a little sad when I read them because I seriously lack the confidence to do anything about! the thought of ringing is excrutiating! I could try writing a letter? what do you think? I think I would mainly just like to hear his vioce and see his face, even just the once.
2007-02-13 20:33:44 · update #1
What do you have to lose? Pick up the phone and let your fingers dial his #.
You're 37 years old and he's about the same age too. You both need time to heal.
I would suggest you get yourself into counseling to help you deal with the abuses you have endured over the last 11 years.
I would take things slow because if you don't you could be stepping right back into what you just left. Don't be co-dependant on another person to make yourself happy.
2007-02-12 22:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and important, each relationship has problems, and it is first-rate that you just located anyone you like. I do not suppose any one can reply this question for you. All of us have to make hard selections in existence, and these picks affects the leisure of our lives. Unfortunately, you are on your own with this one. You must suppose about what is extra major to you. Do you worth your relationship with this man more than you value having a household of your possess? Then if so, he's the person for you. Nevertheless, you could have to recollect that you're giving up your choice to have youngsters, for a man who doesn't look like he's going to be round for a very long time. That can sound imply, however it is the fact. He's already a lot older with severe well being problems... Plus ladies traditionally outlive guys. You can also in finding yourself, single, lonely, and not using a kids, back at square one correct at the end of your youngster-bearing years, with forty extra years forward of you. Now suppose once more, is that this how you want your lifestyles to be?
2016-08-10 15:52:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your case is mild compared to mine, I fell victim to a similiar situation at age 23, I am now 49 never married and still love the lady I fell in love with, and I probably always will. I suggest you go for it contact him, I wish i could talk to you about this and what happened with me. I fell I really need to see this lady face to face, because that is the kinda person she is. I recall it was love at first sight. I was to young and stupid at the time to realize it although I had to admit to myself I had fell in love. By the time I realized it she was boarding a plane and the Military split us up over two thousands miles from each other. (not like I could just go visit there on a weekend drive) and my working and trying to make a living it just never came into focus, not to mention the fact there was no internet back in the day. I woud suggest you give it a try, I know people change, but I also perfectly understand what you are saying. My advise is go for it (you go girl) what do you have to lose (just more time) I know it takes courage but give it a shot soon.
2007-02-12 23:03:45 · answer #3 · answered by 5-Stars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that since both of your marriages are ended, you should at least contact him and hope he feels the same way you do. His being Catholic could pose some problems with your getting married in the Catholic church should your relationship progress that far.
2007-02-12 22:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your going through a tough time. Have you given yourself enough time?
you may come off in a wrong way if your still dealing with the problems of a past relationship. It happend to me before and I totaly blew it with someone I thought I loved after another relationship had ended. If I had given myself more time I may have been able to make it work.
2007-02-12 23:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by javlin_101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both free, make the contact. Start by telling him an old friend says hi. Take it from there. You never know what will happen until you try.
2007-02-12 23:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get in touch with him Girl.
Nothing can go wrong here. Either way you will be happy that you at least talked with him.
All the best
2007-02-12 22:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him, what can it hurt?
2007-02-12 22:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋