Here is the story. I known this guy for 2 years already. He as been very nice to me, I kind of liked him ever since I met him. He is married but he always complaints about his relationship with his wife. So, I try to give him advice. He knows am gay, and it doesn't bother him when I tell him all my sexual fantasies with him.
Recently, we went go get luch together and he was flirting with this girl, of course I got really jealous , and he noticed. . Anyway, I told him I got jealous about it and he didn't take it serious. what really broke my heart was the way he told me this: "come on man, are you in love with me?" and I replied, well, I like you. then he said, " come on, the things you come up with, did you ever think we were going to be together?" that really broke my heart. I feel sad ever since that moment and don't know to talk to him. Is he gay, or he is just a guy who is bored and likes playing with me. Please I need your advice on this one. I am lost.
2007-02-12 20:14:52 · 12 answers · asked by takeyouradvice 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
This can be a painful experience, but essentially you are loving someone in a way that he simply cannot love you back.
Imagine if a woman was doing the same things with you as you are doing with your coworker. She might become frustrated and sad when you tell her that you cannot love her, but this would not change the way you felt towards her romantically, even if you liked her very much as a friend.
It's very nice that this person is accepting of you and enjoys hanging out with you, but please recognize that you are hoping he will change in a way that he is very, very unlikely to change. Pushing him in this direction will make him extremely uncomfortable, and you wouldn't want to do this to a friend.
Those things that we find attractive can sometimes appear even more attractive when they are out of our reach. The key is in recognizing that they are unattainable and, in this case, finding a way to become just as happy with someone who can love you back.
There are many, many people out there who can love you in the way you want this man to. He is not one of them, but odds are that you'll find someone just as attractive who will be able to give you the love you desire.
2007-02-12 20:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by DavidGC 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes he may be bored with his relationship. But he sounds like the type of straight guy who actually gets a kick out of having a gay guy fuss over them of a while, well until they end it. It's like they like the attention that only we can give them.
I know the type. I still have 2 guys who think they are stringing me along. Little do they know I'm in a happy relationship. So when I do see them I still play along. It seems to stroke their egos. Flirt with the gay boy then go home to the wife or girl friend. The best thing is is that one tine my bf was with me and he played along too. This straight guy thought he was the MAN, because he could handle 2 gay guys at once. What a tart!
Don't take it personal. One of the worst things you can do is fall in love with a straight man.
2007-02-12 20:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Oracle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is playing. Also it is never, never a good idea to go after a co-worker. I know that it often seems the only place we can find someone. But its not
Also he is married and that goes far beyond anything else. He made a vow that he should not break. Don't be the one he cheats with. If he was looking at other women like that then its only a matter of time. Also If he did cheat on his with with you and the two of you do get together then what? You would have to watch him day and night.. because you would never trust him. Why?
He cheated on her to be with you and once a cheater always a cheater {so the old saying goes}
I have seen this time and again. I knew a guy who hacked in to his ladies e-mail because she had cheated to be with him and he did not trust her. With good reason. She was flirting with everything but the dog.
2007-02-12 20:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he's married. give you a clue?
Look, you can't set your heart on someone unless you know they're interested. You'll only hurt yourself. I'm a straight guy who lives in a very gay town and deal with this all the time. I like hanging with my gay friends, they can be a real breathe of fresh air after dealing with stuffy hetero's. But that doesn't mean I want to jump the fence.
I always say this. I respect the fact you're gay. Resect the fact I'm straight.
2007-02-12 20:30:24 · answer #4 · answered by guy o 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best advice is the hardest to take.....move on. You care about this guy, but he is not gay and he does not care about you, at least not sexually. This will not happen. You cannot make someone love you and you cannot change someones sexual identity. Move on...get over it, do not waste your life waiting for him to change his mind. It will not be easy, but it is the only way. Good luck.
2007-02-12 21:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be a perfect example of why people are soooo anti-gay. If you want to be gay, fine be gay with all of your gay buddies leave us straight people out of it.
You can't have it both ways. You can't go around hitting on, falling in love with or trying to convert straight guys to being gay and then get mad when they try to segregate you to your own corners of society!
Geesh!!
2007-02-12 22:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen honey he is not playing with him as much as you are playing with him.
you are telling him all of your sexual fantasies that include him and you are moving forward in your own mind that he will be yours.
he is not yours, he is straight, he likes girls, he has told you so but you keep pushing forward with your one way love affair that is all in your mind and not at all in his.
let go of it and him and move on this is strictly a one sided relationship and you need to stop being a little victim in this.
2007-02-13 12:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by Crampy Grampy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're wasting time and energy loving a straight man. He's not interested and probably only flirted with you precisely because he's at ease with his heterosexuality.
Look elsewhere for love, to ease the pain.
2007-02-12 20:28:51 · answer #8 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try and sus out the situation before you go and jump him. I have the same problem with a co worker who is now a close friend. He knows Im gay and i think he knows I like him, but its so hard. Especially in the showers after the gym!
2016-05-24 04:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds just like he's a nice straight guy. He likes you --but sexually he's not interested in you...Keep him as a friend.
2007-02-12 20:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋