I've been in touch with this guy (7 years older) for the past two months.?

Question

He's kind, nice, supportive and very considerate. We started out as friends, but he seems to have developed some stronger feelings for me. I like him as a friend, but can't keep up with his pace of going on; I mean I don't love him, I think he's not my type, but I'm not sure, because i'm still a virgin and have never had sex before (i'm just 22). Although he has asked me several times about going back to friends, I was never sure to completely agree. So, I stuttered every time. We have been out some times, but that was all. No physical thing in between. He tried to show much affection, but i never responded. Some days ago, I told him i had no feelings for his affection and he said he couldn't do much about that. Now, I feel guilty, because I think i have lost a very good friend and he doesn't want to see me anymore. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to love him as much as he loves me now, because of the type and all that stuff.
What do you think I should do?

Well, we have talked a lot about it. He says I shouldn't be so emotionally distant and my confusion is quite normal because I don't have any experience. But if I get close, I might get hurt, because I may not love him.

um.... as for friends, he told me several times we could be just friends. But I was so confused to know what to decide. I'm not sure if I will have any feelings for him in the future, I may or may not. But some of our mutual friends keep telling me that he's a very good choice for a relationship.

I should add that he's never pushed for the physical. He just tries to show affection by putting his arm around me, or holding my hand, being kind, that sort of things. And i have to say that every time we talked about my doubts, he tried to calm me down and explain things to help me through. But I just don't know where things will go and this has disappointed him, I guess...

Answer 1

Him being 7 years older he should understand- from your description of him, that you're not interested in a romantic relationship just a friendship. He's basically opened the door in hopes that you could be more than just a friend should you choose. You shouldn't over-analyse this and just be open and honest with him about your feelings and not worry so much about hurting his. If he is truly a friend, he'll understand...and if he isn't, then perhaps you'd be better off. Don't alter your feelings just because you're afraid of hurting his...the relationship would be based on an unstable foundation and eventually fail. He probably is a real nice guy and may make a great partner...but if your heart isn't into it, then it would only become misery. Choose wisely.

Answer 2

You probably need to share with him that you value his friendship and you don't want that to end. From your description, it seems like he was really hoping that the relationship could develop into something more serious, and perhaps that's what the whole purpose of the relationship was for him all along.

If you know that you will never have feelings for him, and if you also know that he will not be content to have a simple friendship with you without it developing into something more serious, then the relationship is doomed on any level, since it can be neither a romantic relationship nor a friendship.

However, if he is content with having a great friend, then there's no reason that can't work out. That's clearly what you desire in this case, and by making it known to him that his friendship is important to you, maybe you can keep what you'd like to have. If this works out, he won't be getting the lover he wanted, but at least he will have gained a friend.

Answer 3

There obviously must be some sort of feelings there, deep down you are just unsure of them. Why else would you be so unsure & stutter every time.

The best thing to do, would to be friends & see where it goes from there. Don't over analyse things so much. Go with the flow follow your feelings. You never know this might be the greatest thing in your life.

Love is Life's greatest adventure.

But always be safe if you go the physical route.

Some advice: Always be you and never give up your morals.

Good luck.

Answer 4

i think of you're quickly. From what interestingly like besides. i visit tell you what i think of in 2 diverse view factors: i think of that as a teenage lady you're very curious related to the flaws around you form of like "The Little Mermaid." via fact whilst i grew to become into in midsection college, which grew to become into extremely below 4 years in the past, women have been making out with women basically to ascertain in the event that they enjoyed it. I even had 2 acquaintances who have been relationship secretly so they'd parent themselves out. So perchance that's you? I additionally comprehend the area approximately adult men being jerks. And that led to my one chum thus far women extremely. yet she informed me it grew to become into ok yet she mentioned that it may no longer eliminate from the wantings of being with a guy. So i'd say which you basically p.c. a particular somebody to spend time with. i do no longer think of youre Bi, or lesbian. even with the actuality that, in trouble-free terms you will comprehend that answer ;) i'm hoping that enables! sturdy success

Answer 5

You like him. You don't love him. When you do have sex (especially for the first time) better it were with someone for whom you had strong feelings and WANTED to have sex with. Don't allow yourself to be pressured by his strong feelings for you.

You want his friendship? Fine, let him know that that is all you want.

Answer 6

Dude, if he can accept you as a friend, cool. If not, move on.

Don't have sex with him if you have no feelings for him.

Answer 7

Sit down and talk to him...or show him this question.