i am 25 years old. my husband is 29. we have been married for 6 years.. we have had lots of obsticles but have seemed to get over them all eventually, but there is one that is threatening to ruin our marriage... for years we have been in debt, but finally in the last 2-3 years, we have managed to get back on our feet and greatly improve our credit. but i have been sick and out of work since last september and unable to bring in any money. he doesn't have a job that pays enough to support us both, so within months, we are in a huge hole again... only now its bigger because we overextended ourselves with credit cards and such when we were doing well. he has already had 1 vehicle repo'd and we are 2 months behind on the other 2 and $40,000 in other debt. i have cancelled all my credit cards and am working with a consoladation co., but he will not stop spending money on stuff that is unecessary, like a new stereo and amp for his truck he can't pay for. i can't take it! what do i do?
2007-02-12 18:25:39 · 9 answers · asked by shiningstar1313 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
let me rephrase something.. he has a job.. he works mon-sat 6am to between 4pm and 8 pm... it just does not pay enough to support us both... i have not been able to work due to an illness and when we got credit before, it was based on the fact that we both had good jobs and could support each other.. we lost half our income when i stopped working...
2007-02-12 18:50:19 · update #1
Have you talked to him about this? Sounds like to me he either isn't fully aware of how serious your debt is, or he simply doesn't care. He may also have the attitute he made it, he can spend it... then theres some that just simply live above their means. You need to sit him down and tell him theres a problem and it needs solved quickly... talk to the consolidation company and see if they can help at all... good luck to you!
2007-02-12 19:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by emtb9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get BOTH of you into marriage counseling with financial counseling follow-up IMMEDIATELY! You may also be crazy NOT to consult an attorney to protect yourself and learn of YOUR STATE LAW and decide if
getting a legal separation would be best.
Somehow, in counseling, YOU must be prepared to grasp and understand YOUR OWN PART in all this, even if it's only being and "enabler" .When people are on the outside, they can readily see both sides of an argument
[blame game]. However, it's always hard to see our own faults.
Get advice, even write Dear Abby, then consider showing this and Dear Abby's answer to hubby, if he doesn't like counseling idea.
2007-02-12 18:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do like I do..
cut up his cards when they come in the mail.
He obviously have a problem in refusing stuff. his eyes are bigger than his pocketbook. clearly he cant understand that he needs to cut the spending.
Just make sure that u have a big enuff policy on him, so that when he dies, u can pay off his debt and still be comfortable.
having a man such as yours, can make life uncomfortable indeed.
I know from experience
2007-02-12 18:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by susan q 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOK OVER COMING SIX YEARS IS ALOT. BUT DO U WANT TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN? I KNOW IT'S NOT HARD TO LOOK AT THE FACT THAT U HAVE BEEN TOGETHER THAT LONG BUT ISN'T THAT WHAT'S KIND OF BLINDING U TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE. I THINK DEEP DOWN U KNOW UR JUST NOT READY TO MAKE IT. BUT THE LONGER U STAY THE MORE DEBT U WILL BECOME IN. AND THE LONGER TO GET OUT OF. GOOD LUCK
2007-02-12 18:35:48 · answer #4 · answered by GROUCH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to get a job to pay off for the stuff he wants to buy that you don't want to pay for. Why should you be paying for things that he wants, right? You've got your own debt to take care of.
2007-02-12 18:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by pertinential 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will he is a man that made unethical decision . My advise to u is to tell him to go to a book store and read up on finance management guideline since his not working that will actually smarting him up, and make him realize that love and responsibility is more than just stereo and amp for his truck
2007-02-12 18:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Justaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that if he is going to spend the money like that then he needs to have a second job or find a job that will pay enough. or you could do some at home work...i sold mary kay products.
2007-02-12 18:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by MomOf2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are able to get a job, you should and if he doesn't stop the spending, you should probably go to counseling or divorce him
2007-02-12 18:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him that a marriage is a partnership & if he continues to ignore your feelings that he will be on his own.He is acting like he is anyway.
2007-02-12 18:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋