I wrote another poem for this dude I like. Yesterday I wrote one but he said it's best that I keep my day job.
I felt bad, but now I have a new poem called Today. Can you give me your opinion before I send it off to him?
TODAY
================
Do you miss me...since yesterday?
Yesterday...a day not today
Today is Tuesday...so yesterday was Monday
Monday was cold... today is warm
Warm...like feet and boiled oats..which are good
Good things are better than bad
Bad is not good...cuz it's worse
Worse things happened yesterday
Yesterday has past..so today in now
Now do you feel good and better
Better than yesterday..since it's today?
Today is Tuesday !
2007-02-12 18:12:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thankf ro your kind words. Sometimes when I mention boiled oats my friend gets upset cuz he says boiled oats are not good for your health. But I like 'em and that's why most of my poems mention oats. He doesn't have to eat them. I think my next poem will speak more highly of boiled oats and less about yesterday.
2007-02-12 18:56:30 · update #1
My friends sent it back to me saying that Robert Frost must be rolling in his grave under the frozen tundra. It seems I need to concentrate more on my prose.
2007-02-12 21:28:33 · update #2
it made me laugh, i so love it.
2007-02-12 18:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by tania 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey it's cute. Not exactly Shakespeare or Lord Byron. But it is the though and feeling behind it that counts. Keep it up the more you write the better you will get and keep writing from the heart.
If the person whom you wrote it for still does not appreciate it. Maybe he is not cultured enough to appreciate it. Don't take it personally, treat it with the contempt it deserves.
If you really like him, try expressing your self in a way he understands. But keep writing even if it is in a secret journal.
All the best. By the way I quite liked it.
In light and love
Namatse'
Oracle
2007-02-13 02:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by Oracle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it a lot because it's filled with personality and an obvious loving sentiment, and I think that's more appealing than a lot of other amateur poets who write nothing but cynical poetry. Keep it up! (Just, you know, don't expect to get anything more than perhaps a smirk, a smile, or a laugh and hug in return. I don't anything about how publishers do their jobs, but you might end up a little disappointed. Though I'd have no problem keeping a book of your poetry on my shelf!)
2007-02-13 03:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Dorsiatic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the poem is called "Today" should it not be about Today and not yesterday?I would re-write the poem and add some thoughts about the yesterday and tomorrow,and stay in the now since we cannot live in the past or the future.I like to say that if you got one foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow then you are pissing all over today.Maybe it's ok,,I don't know,but if you like it then that is all that matters,right?Peace!!Happy Valentines Day!!
2007-02-13 02:39:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes by all means....any worthwhile date or partner would be honored to have poetry created with them in mind. He may very well be overwhelmed by your poetry because it is not something that we "American" men have been socialized as to what ? why? what does this mean? People consistently become defensive when faced with your tenderhearted wonderful work. At the spiritual level of his existence - he's flattered and recognizes that he has been given a "gift" that has no price upon it. Make sure you not only give him the poem but read it aloud to him.
2007-02-13 06:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by simon k 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone gave me this poem, I would laugh so hard that I'd fall off of my chair...but in a good way...because that's cute and funny.
I would keep your day job though, I don't think there is much work for the William Hung of poetry...
2007-02-13 02:20:22 · answer #6 · answered by IamBatman 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This man should appreciate your sensitivity. Being a passionate person myself, and love someone who gives from their heart, I would hurt if someone said the same to me. My point being that if I wrote something for someone that I meant, and they said not to quit my day job, I wouldn't gift them with anything else I wrote. It is beautiful.
2007-02-13 02:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by Sally M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like this one today, and I like boiled oats as well.
2007-02-13 11:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boiled oats will make certain of your parts more evocative of equestrian pleasures.
2007-02-13 15:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are getting better, I liked that one better than the last one.
2007-02-13 10:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by pissed off with abuse, goodbye! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bless!! It shows you're trying, unfortunately a poet you'll never be.
2007-02-13 02:24:35 · answer #11 · answered by waggy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋