My husband and I just got married last december 29, and this is my first year with him. While we were still gf/bf, I never received anything from him during my birthdays, love days, christmas days. And I understand this because he told me he doesn't really know what to give me. Before, I was a really sad, but I've gotten the use of receiving nothing from him eventually.
I know it's selfish to expect gifts but do wives have the right to receive anything from their husbands? I am not expecting anything this love day though and I am not going to force him to give me something... all I am going to do is give him something special and not expect anything in return...
2007-02-12 17:47:15 · 27 answers · asked by Charmaine * 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a shame your husband is like this. He should at least give you a card - they don't cost that much and even one rose is very romantic. It's the thought that counts and he is not very thoughtful. You should have tackled this prob. before you married him. It's going to be hard to change him now. It can be done by a certain type of woman, not a wimp though. Give him a card and say, "even though you don't care enough to give me a card, I want you to have this because I love you". Let him know you think if he cared he would have done something! Then there's always the tactic of going out and getting yourself something. Then tell him, "Hey, thanks. This is what you gave me for Val. Day."
2007-02-12 18:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I have the same situation as you... I was thinking about it and I guess it's wrong to expect gifts from your love one because you're supposed to love him (unconditionally), not by what he gives you.
Even though I know that, I still have my hopes up every holiday/occasion. I get disappointed, yes.... another way of thinking is... why do you expect your man to give you something on special days when you don't (or don't always) give him something. If you want to make the day special... then you should take the initiative to make it special, surprise him. Set up a romantic dinner at home before he gets home from work... light up candles, have some nice bouquet of flowers, some chocolates... All in all, I know my man isn't the romantic type, but what he does everyday shows that he cares. Like if I want coffee, he will go out and buy me some, or if I'm hungry, he will make me something to eat...or before he goes to work, he gives me a kiss.
2007-02-13 01:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,nothings wrong with that actually...sometimes it happens once the married couples are getting a lot of things to be taking care of,like bills and everything..,you can give him some of a exception on that,but not try to compare or things that when you guys are used to be high school sweetheart or whatsover,now you are facing into a long time relationship for the rest of your life.try to look backwards which one that you need to adjust and make it less some of the pride that goes between the two of you,.because in the other hand,its not really good to hear for any arguements if theres any financial goals problems that some of you wont control it and let it happen accidentally and so hard to take it back those words and it may takes a long while before its gets back to normal the way it should be..try to have a conversation with him and be nice and you guys can figure things out in a simple nice way..alright.
2007-02-13 02:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that both husbands and wives should show each other how much they care by giving a present on special days. It doesn't have to be anything big, just thoughtful. It is a very nice thing to do.
2007-02-13 01:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by dottygoatbeagle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knows it's going to make you feel bad he definitly should buy you something. If its a matter of money even writing some poetry or a nice letter about how much he loves you would suffice. It is really strange for him no to give anything though, not because it's a national holiday used to stimulate the economy, but because it has some effect on your phsyce(sorry tough word)
2007-02-13 01:52:06 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it shows that how much u love him. u r not at all selfish dear. wt u r thinking is good that if u will give him gifts which he will like he will definitely think about those gifts which u will like and he will surely try to buy something good for u . expecting something is a part of human nature there is nothing wrong in it. even in the most pure relationship of this world- a mother and her child's relationship, the mother expects that her child will take care of her in her old age times. so, expecting something is natural and nothing is wrong in it...
2007-02-13 01:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ishq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You were still bf/gf." this the main problem.
All of desire goes to bf/gf.
if any person gives attention in a particular point then we can expect a result.
beside this there are some person who neglect this by their habit. in this case you have to do those work which is you expect from him e.g give him a love day gift ( every caes ) and tell you should do like me.
one day he will bound to think that you are doing then he should do.
take care
2007-02-13 03:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by tasin789 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm thats a good question, if he doesnt have money too thats one thing but I think guys should give something if they can. I mean even write a nice letter, give a massage, doesnt have to be something big you know. Do you give him presents cuz if you did how could he not feel bad about that? If he says he doesnt know what to get you then give him some ideas, or on VDay just say something like 'can you give me a back massage' or something..i mean anything haha.
2007-02-13 01:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad ...
Yes, it's not too much to expect a token of his affection on special holidays, be it your birthday, Valentine's, or Christmas. I think you're plan is good, but if the situation really bothers you, I'd talk to him about it at some point.
2007-02-13 01:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by Kristi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he doesn't get you anything for "Romance Day", is what I call it....you should always remember that he has given you himself for the rest of your life. Romance Day comes once a year, but you get to be with your husband for the rest of your life!
Don't be upset or hurt if you don't get anything from him. Just get something for the both of you. Like some lingerie, or his and hers towels, his and hers bath robes, some chocolate coated hearts or other candy, his and hers coffee mugs, or get Frank Sinatra's Romance Songs Cd. It should be for both of you to use to start off your new year together.
Last year my husband completely forgot to get me something for Romance Day and I didn't get mad or anything, instead he gave me a hug and kiss on the lips and said that he loves me. I was a happy camper after that. Then I thought to myself, he has given me so much already, that I sure appreciate all that he has done for me and my boys. And that is what counts in a marriage as well.
Enjoy your life together and congrats to you both!
2007-02-13 02:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋