My gf was a swinger when I met her. She wants me to try it but I dont know that I want to. what do I do?

Answer 1

If you're having doubts, I don't think you should do it, or at least you need to talk in depth with her about both of your feelings, her motivations, your reservations, and how you can come to a happy compromise. That doesn't mean you have to say "No", but you do need to talk a lot (and I mean a lot) and lay down rules first off. If you two share openly with one another, about your fears and all that, she can better lead you into the swinger lifestyle (if you so choose) to make sure bad things don't develop.

Talk to her, and read up on this stuff:

Doin One for the Team: Years in the Swinging Lifestyle by Simbaxxx

A Private Diary: Our First Year in Swinging by Jerry L. Moore


Swinging: Real Stories by Real Swingers by Terry O\'Day

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah M. Anapol

Survivors of an Open Marriage by Jennifer Gates

Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful by Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt

Hope that helps, and good luck and best wishes to you both.

Answer 2

Well, first you should do some research into it and get some real and accurate information about swinging. My recommendation is to check-out The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com and read through the forums, search on topics you are interested in, and read through the Top 100 threads. You'll find lots of great information from both veterans and newbies alike ranging from jealousy issues to how to find someone to swing with.

Then, sit and talk with your girlfriend about it. Discuss what turns you on about it and what scares the hell out of you. Only then, will you know if it is something you can do.

Remember, swinging won't fix a bad relationship, but it sure won't hurt a good one.

Answer 3

i was in the same situation, now resolved. I don't mind if my gf sleeps with other women at all, so that's fine. She wanted me to join in, though, and I wasn't so sure about that. I gave it a try and didn't really like it, my gf was willing to say, "well that's that then," but we found a compromise: she does the third while I do her. Win-win. You just have to talk it out and do what makes you comfortable. If you feel like you might regret something, you probably will. If you feel like trying something, go for it! As long as your gf understands that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Answer 4

If it makes you uncomfortable, then I wouldn't suggest you do it. Even if your girlfriend gets upset, it's far more worth it than you doing something you will strongly regret or dislike. If she pursues the matter, you should flat out tell her that it's not your thing and you're not comfortable in doing it. Trust me, it'll be better in the end (even if the relationship ends) that you don't do something that will haunt you.

Answer 5

Don't do it. The bad feelings you have about it are an indication that it's wrong. In fact, you shouldn't participate in extramarital sexual relations of any kind. They are sacred and they are only for husband and wife.

Answer 6

If you aren't comfortable with it, dont do it. It would only cause you both problems down the road.

Answer 7

Do what you feel comfortable with..It is entirely your choice and your right to say either yes or no.

Answer 8

Don't do it. There is no reason to compromise your own values and be uncomfortable doing this just to please her. Maybe you should look for someone more compatible with your lifestyle

Answer 9

Until you do know, do nothing.