Is divorce a catch 22 situation?

Question

I married too young to the first person I ever slept with. Now I regret not playing the field just a little. I know I "should" have done these things before marriage. And yes, I did take my "vows" seriously as I have been married for 10 years and never once cheated.

I will be losing a great woman if I divorce, but at least I will have the opportunity to play the field once again. I always say If I divorce I will never remarry becasue there are just too many restrictions. Too many ways to mess up. Too many temptations.
Basically, I'm tired of this whole marriage thing.

So it looks like a catch 22 dammed if I do dammed if I don't.

This sucks!

About her getting half, no problem. She is entitled to it. In fact I will continue to help with all the bills.

God has nothing to do with this. I did not marry in a church. In fact I am not religious at all.

Answer 1

don't think there's better out there, if she does'nt cheat, feeds you a sandwich every once and a while, and listens while you speak you probably better off than most. Men's standards have lowered severely since then, and the women have been glad to accept those standards.

Answer 2

Hey Billy Bob, what are you looking for. Just want to go out and play? Why? Do you really think, after living with a woman 10 years, that you will find something really better? Each one of us has our own peculiar issues. After 10 years, you know your wife's issues. You describe her as "a great woman". If you read these columns regularly you know that "great women" are few and far between. I mean, so many men write with complaints about their wives and girlfriends. If you are looking for some sexual variety, get some books, some videos and read and watch together. Take a trip with your wife. Renew your vows. Consider couples therapy. Consider personal therapy. If you're absolutely commit ed to the notion of getting divorced, before you actually go through with it give a lot of thought to what you're losing and what it is you think you'll be getting. Doesn't sound to me as thought it's a good trade.

Answer 3

Apparently it hasnt been too bad if you been married for 10 yrs! You say you love your wife. You made vows to her and God that your marriage is forever. Just because you are tired of the whole marriage thing, why not try to put more effort in making the marriage work instead of running away from a commitment to her and to God? It is too easy to just run out of it. Marriage is a hard thing but, you have to work at it to make it continue, it wont just be happy on its own. Advice, try putting your entire energy and focus into saving and refreshing the marriage instead of giving up. Try it for at least 6 months and then you are still not happy well, you will have to cross that bridge then.

Answer 4

I don't have much of an answer, I do agree that you should always play the field before you marry someone, but why would you even think about leaving your wife to sleep with someone else if your really happy?? I just think you may be going through one of those ruff spots so take some time and think about what you are really doing before you go and do anything crazy there buddy!

Answer 5

I feel that you are struggling with this issue and truely are trying to find the right thing to do. Clearly you feel that you cannot be who you want to be in the confines of your marriage. I think however you will be terribly disappointed by the life you end up leading if you do get divorced. Remember - the grass is always greener on the other side. You think that there will be all these women that you can date and sleep with - what if you are lousy at picking up women and find you really hate the modern dating scene? You need to talk to your wife about what you are feeling and thinking - you owe it to her.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are going through something emotional. Sex is sex. Not worth divorcing over. You lose a great woman and find out there's nothing out there worth it. Then where will you be? Give this time to pass. It will. To divorce because your spouse is not good to you is one thing but, just to experiment with sex is not a good reason. Experiment together. Talk to your spouse about it. Everyone needs a loving partner. It's when love is gone that one seeks another. If you have love, keep it.

Answer 7

if you want to play the field that bad you should tell her and get a divorce. yes you should've done that before marriage because obviously you don't love her enough to make her happy. i was married the first time young too and my husband basically did the same thing to me that you are about to do to her. i never will forgive him for that or even understand it but i have moved on and gotten remarried to someone who does love me and understand me. i regretted getting married young too because he wasn't grown up enough to understand that a marriage is based on committment no matter what you decide to do you need to talk to her and maybe even try to explain to her how you could feel this way whenever she has wasted her life on you

Answer 8

Let me get this straight you are going to divorce a good woman that you have been faithful to for 10 years so that you can have sex with other women because you think you are missing out.How do you go from being a man of honor?To selling your honor out for a piece of a**!!

Answer 9

Yes, I suggest no one marry till at least 28 if at all, I agree to never remarry. marriage is a mistake, people think they own people like slaves. plus as I see what i earn is mine no one else's

You need to decide what is more important a wife or freedom. only you can answer that.

Answer 10

Nope..
It is for mature adults who love each other and have made
a "till death do we part" vow....
When one partner betrays those vows in an unforgivable manner
then the other is morally entitled to divorce....
In your case...
You will probably get what you deserve...