Hey. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and best friends for 6 years. Throughout his whole life, he told me he hated smokers but in the past 6 months he has started. I try not to bug him about it too much because I know that is is addicted and really hard to quit. He keeps talking about marriage and things like that and I love him but I don't want to marry him if he is going to continue to smoke. I am totally and 100% against smoking. I just wish he would quit smoking. He made his New Year's resolution to quit but he hasn't tried anything to quit and now he is starting to lie about it. Please HELP ME!! I need your advice.
2007-02-12 17:28:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As for cookingizal... your answer was ridiculous as I'm sure everyone will agree. And from what I can tell, you're not too bright but I won't hold that against you. Also, withholding sex is not an option...it's immature and trust me, if it worked I'm sure the scientists and government wouldn't spend billions of dollars trying to get people to quit or on research... they would've already figured that out. I'm sure alot of people have done it and felt like a fool for even trying. Why withhold when you could be having sex??...
2007-02-12 18:11:17 · update #1
It is never easy to get some to quit smoking. Your bf need very strong determination to quit smoking. You can encourage him to cut down by one (1) stick every day and slowly he can reduced the number of cigaette per month and at the same time you shold also encourage him to take up some other activities to keep him occupied. But ultimately, it boils down to his determination
2007-02-12 22:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Check this out, I think it will really help:
http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/research_data/cessation/five_keys.htm
It explains 5 steps in which someone can successfully quit:
1. Get Ready.
2. Get Support.
3. Learn new skills and behaviors.
4. Get medication and use it correctly.
5. Be prepared for relapse or difficult situations.
Medication can help a lot with getting out of the tough addiction, and will do what encouragement and willpower may not be able to do...
*The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved seven medications to help you quit smoking:
1. Bupropion SR—Available by prescription.
2. Nicotine gum—Available over–the–counter.
3. Nicotine inhaler—Available by prescription.
4. Nicotine nasal spray—Available by prescription.
5. Nicotine patch—Available by prescription and over-the-counter.
6. Nicotine lozenge—Available over–the–counter.
7. Varenicline tartrate—Available by prescription.
A real effort is everything. Hopefully he would be willing to try some techniques like the preceding information. But if he does not, have a serious talk with him and tell him that you don't think that your relationship will work if he can not exert any effort into a value that is very, very important to you in your life and relationship.
Best of Luck. I am totally against smoking as well! It's disgusting!
2007-02-12 17:39:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he had these tendencies all along. He may have been agreeing with you, then smoking behind your back and finally just gave in.
If you bug him he will smoke even more and may even start not liking you as much.
He has to quit because he wants to. You can bug him all you want to, and if he stops (like someone I new stopped or told there mate they stopped) he may just do it behind your back.....
The real issue here is not the smoking, it is why he felt the need to smoke.
2007-02-12 18:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an ex-smoker, the most important thing when quitting is doing it for yourself. I tried to quit so many times, for my husband, my mom, everyone, but myself and failed every time. Once I decided to quit for my self it was easier to do. If he doesn't want to quit right now, do not pressure him, let him know you don't like it and want him to be healthy, but do not nag him. (It just makes us smokers want to smoke another!) Once he decides to quit, be supportive. The nicotine gum worked really well for me, I would also give myself like 5 smokes a day and once they were gone, I would not smoke any more that day, I slowly weaned myself of of them until I did not even want to smoke anymore. More than likely he will smoke again, but hopefully with your support he will be able to quit. GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-12 17:38:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lynsey T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoking is very hard to quit and unless he is motivated to do so, it will not happen.
Give him an altematum, you or the cigarettes and then follow through on your threat. It's tough love but if he loves you he will quit.
2007-02-12 17:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that second hand smoke he releases from his body is unhealthy for you as well .
And that you plan on being around for a while... well at least a life time.. with out smoking.
2007-02-12 17:36:33 · answer #6 · answered by Angus. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't he has to want to and you can't control that part of him! You can love him and not like the things that he does but if you wanna keep him you're going to have to compromise! Everyone has flaws! Try working on both yours and hos together! You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!
2007-02-12 17:34:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I'm going to say is this, you shouldn't not marry someone you love because they smoke that's really stupid and he won't quit smoking until he is ready to quit, and until he wants to quit!
2007-02-12 17:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by Megz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Withhold sex from him until he quits. That's the most powerful weapon you have. If that doesn't work, nothing will.
2007-02-12 17:31:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to choose from u and smoking.If he love u then smoking will last nowhere
2007-02-12 17:33:22 · answer #10 · answered by cutiepie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋