i have been dating this guy for the last 6 months. We are extremely close and spend every day together. I always stay over at his house and he has asked me to move in. His last relationship was for 7 years and she hurt him really bad. He is over her, but on numerous occasions has said that it will take him years to say i love you. How should i take that. I don't want to be in a relationship for years without love. what should i do? if he doesn't love me yet will he ever? If you could please give me advice
2007-02-12 16:27:26 · 10 answers · asked by lee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't waste your time with a relationship where you feel that you are not getting everything that you deserve. If you tell him that you love him and he doesn't feel the same way then there is something wrong there. I wasted my time in a relationship where I felt like I was the only one that truly cared and when I finally was able to let him go after 4 years, I met my husband shortly after. I knew he was the one because he gave me everything that I was missing with the first guy.
I hadn't seen the first guy in over seven years and when I finally ran into him he let me know that he was l living with a girl that wanted to get married but he never will. He will never change and neither will your boyfriend, don't waste the best years of you life waiting for someone to feel a way that they are incapable of. I know that it is hard but it will be better for your future.
One final thought, my X would have never broken up with me, he was perfectly happy having me there loving him regardless. He even suggested that we get married but have an open marriage where we (he really meant himself) could see other people. Good luck!
2007-02-12 16:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not entirely sure what to tell you. I once had a boyfriend who didn't want to say "I love you" either, because every other girl who'd said it to him broke up with him a month later. And for a while I wasn't ready to say it either because I'd been pressured into saying it before I was ready in my last relationship and it really messed things up for us. But after a while I realized that I did love him, and it was scary but I knew I had to take the first step, so I said it first. And then waited for the longest ten seconds of my life before he said it back. And now he's my husband.
So it may work out for you guys. I would give it a little more time, and if you haven't tried saying it yet, you will probably have to be the first one to bring it up. You could move in with him and see if that brings you closer together, or you could wait for a few more months first. If another six months go by and he refuses to say it, then I would move on. But in the meantime, think about how he treats you. There's a big difference between just telling someone you love them and treating them as though you do. Just because he doesn't say it doesn't mean he doesn't feel strongly about you; you're the best judge of that. If he's still treating you well and acting as though he loves you, you should stick with him and give him some more time.
2007-02-13 00:35:39 · answer #2 · answered by cg17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear, please listen to me; TALK IS ALWAYS CHEAP! Real love is not just by saying I Love You; but is how you both care of each and other and sharing a common goal together. Try to look arround your relationship and see if what I just said is existed. And also always remember, in a relationship; it has to be a two way street. You will win more if you give back more than you take. Good luck.
2007-02-13 04:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by ken c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes some guys a while to say the 3 words that all women loves to hear
it doesn't mean he doesn't love you though
he's been hurt BAD
so it will probably take longer
from what you said, it seems like he does
but wait a while
only time can tell
2007-02-13 01:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by Carmen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire the guy, because he is honest to you. By letting you know his feeling and thought he shows himself in "flesh". He wants to be transparent to you because he does not want to be hurt again. Though it feels really disappointing on your part that he does not say "I love you" to you, at least in the very important sense, he lets you know what he really intends. You guy does not want to pretend. I feel your guy really value those three words.
If your point now is to really go on with him, then you should wait until he is ready to utter those words to you. But if you want to find someone who would just say "i love you" to you as matter of expression and utterance, then its your choice.
As I have said, I feel great with your man.
The most important thing is that he cares for you. If your guy cares for you and showed you all the concerns that you rightfully deserve, then its more than "I love you". To review your feelings, listen to the song "More Than Word" by Westlife.
By the way, loving with "sweet words" is different from loving with "care". Check it for yourself.
2007-02-13 00:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by neps365 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I don't want to be in a relationship for years without love."
this is the only certainty in this situation, and your feelings are the only ones that matter.
no one can predict this man's future emotions. so, how does he treat you now? if you expressed your desire for a loving relationship and he refused, citing prior emotional baggage, ask yourself: why would a man who truly cares for me dismiss our relationship like that?
my advice: don't wait for words to make happy. stay with him only as long as you feel valued and respected. bail as soon as you don't.
2007-02-13 00:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by ichigo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I pretty sure it won't be years. He just probably feels that way because he is scared to open his heart like that again. Just be patient amd it will come. I will probably happn within the next year.
2007-02-13 03:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by wishbear3687 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may just need time to deal with his emotions, you have only
been dating for 6 months. so dont rush anything, when both
of you are ready to explore this it will happen. so dont let it
worry you so much.
2007-02-13 00:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 years here and im still waiting
2007-02-13 00:30:42 · answer #9 · answered by missmpds 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't rush love.
2007-02-13 00:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by tinap1203 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋