im soo confuse..dunno what is happening
A-24 y.o=my girlfriend since 8 yrs ago, ; hot tempered n always mad at me, expect me to be perfect, put all her problems to me, nag all the time, hurt my feeling everytime, always fight, ego, always abuse me emotionally, i dont think she respect me, dominant.
however; she is matured, confident, treat me good when she's in the mood, firm,love me.
B- 23y.o=another girl who comes to my life 3 mnths ago; bit childish-always cheerfully like a little girl, not firm in decision,
however, she seems to really understands me, accept me as i am, charming, cute, modest-but sometimes too humble, softhearted, love me,
i love them both,
i know i cant live with A as my wife, but i have so much beautiful memories with her, and i still love her.
should i continue with A although im hurt everyday and she become a queen ctrl?
or try new relation? what if im really miss my ex? would the feeling fade away with respect to time?
please help me
2007-02-12 15:19:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If the first one is getting on your nerves, try talking it out with her or getting counseling. It seems cheesy or lame, but it is a last ditch effort. Explain to her that you love her, but you can't put up with what she is doing to you.
If it still doesn't feel right after that, or if she shoots you down, GET OUT OF THERE! It is only going to get worse, especially if you get married. It can be the hardest thing in the world to get over someone that you have devoted so much time to, but you need to realize that she has changed for the worse.
The fact that you already have feelings for another girl kinda confirms my thoughts that you are almost through with A. Getting over her will take time, but can and will be done eventually, if it is the right thing to do. B sounds sweet- don't cheat on A yet, but hold B close, just in case. (Just don't rush things!) Good luck...
2007-02-12 15:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by Bobby S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I am gong through a VERY similar situation!
I've been with someone for 8 years (and am not completely happy). And just met someone a month ago (and am very intrigued). And I feel you, when you say you love them both. It's so hard - I can't choose either!
I too would have to agree with many of the other suggestions, that you should take time for yourself, to reflect on things. Let them both know that you need time and really reflect and let your heart (and head) tell you what you really want and what's best for you.
Best of luck. I know exactly what you are going through, you can email me if you'd like to vent/talk!
2007-02-13 08:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by greennchic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart! First off you need to be with someone that will accept you and love you for who you are and not try to change you into someone they want you to be. You need someone that is going to be your friend and hopefully best friend, someone that is not going to control you but be your partner in every way that she can, raise you up to feel better about yourself and be the best that you can be, not have someone that fights with you all the time(fighting once in awhile is normal but all the time is a big fat NO!) also need in the relationship mutual RESPECT or it's not a very good relationship and there needs to be good COMMUNICATION in a relationship too. You need someone who is going to be there for you through all the good and bad, someone who will Love you unconditionally and when you find this someone then that's the one you should choose to be your wife, soul mate, and or partner for life.
2007-02-12 15:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't completely into just one woman, you are not ready to get married. A marriage is a serious commitment to work together and stay together, and you should be ready to put all of your attention into it. It sounds like you need more time to get to know yourself and what will make you happy in the long run. Consider yourself lucky to have more than one woman that loves you, but respect each of them enough to be clear about your intentions and give your all to just one.
2007-02-12 15:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by UpanishadMorning 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely you relationship with Girl A is not healthy. A good and healthy relationship is made up of love, respect, understanding, accepting and loving YOU for who you are and what YOU have. It seems your lacking one of it. I dont think Girl A loves you as you loves her. If she really loves you, she cant afford to hurt you. Hurting ones love is much painful than hurting oneself. Just let her go. Being with her for 8 years does not give assurance of a happy married life.
As for Girl B just continue to date with her. Give time to know her better. You've said she is bit childish etc but one thing is she loves, respect and accept you for who you are. Just be patience with her. She is immature as of now, who knows as time goes by...
2007-02-12 15:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by meekaila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give it some time. It seems like like you love A but like B. But A still might not be the right one for you because already you seem to focus on her bad qualities and it will just
magnify if her marry her. Just give it time, the answers will come.
2007-02-12 15:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the only thing to do is take some time off from both of them until you get your head and heart straight about the matter.
After awhile, If both options are still open, choose one, and stick with her and only her.
2007-02-12 15:27:27 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn I wish I had that problem. But you answered it yourself. You can't imagine being married to girl A. Instead of being hurt everyday, date the childish one for awhile and see if she grows up.
2007-02-12 15:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by bmikey79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the time to figure things out. You have a battle between infatuation and attachment. You need to really take some space and see who it is you can see having a future with.
2007-02-13 07:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, if you need morons like us to help you out, you are a sad, sad man. For God sake, be a man and decide. It sounds to me like if you have your doubts about both of the. Don't marry either of them.
2007-02-12 15:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by JR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋