My 13 yr old son and I have always been close and able to talk about anything. He has always nagged his dad to stop chewing and his pap to stop smoking. He would bring home pictures of what it can do to you.....I trusted him knowing that he told me all of his friends either chew or smoke but swore he would never do it. YEP! you guessed it! I caught him chewing! broke my heart! then found out it wasn't the 1st.time. He said I just don't understand peer pressure.His friends would laugh at him and tease him so he tried it.He said it was embarrassing how they teased him. I gave him the lecture about not being real friends. My husband say's I can ground him 4ever but he WILL find a way if he wants to do it.(but he is not allowing it) just wondering what I can do to prevent it again????
2007-02-12 15:10:50 · 11 answers · asked by same girl/new name :) 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has been grounded for almost a month
2007-02-12 15:20:14 · update #1
Probably nothing. You've gave him instruction, an example.
He knows what can happen because he's not dumb.
You have to let him work it out on his own. Hopefully a time will come when he'll figure out "peer pressure" isn't anything.
I think he'll come around and do what right. Just don't ride him
because he'll rebel and, well you've been young. You know how that is.
2007-02-12 15:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by redman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him "work out his own salvation", so to speak. I tried smoking due to peer pressure, then pot, then booze. After I tried them all, I decided on the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And that was none of the above. Sometimes you have to have something before you can decide you don't want it after all. Be patient. Give him room. If you forbid it, it could make him want it even more. You are right. He will find a way if he wants it bad enough. So just chill, and let him find his own wisdom on the matter. But you need to always make him feel loved by you no matter what he does. Both my parents smoked and drank as well as my older sister. I, strangely, was the more rebelious child but ended up not smoking or drinking or doing drugs. I think it was because I started reading the Bible for myself. All my mom did was buy one for me and left it on my bed one day for me to find when I came home from school. From that point on, I always knew when I was off track with God. Maybe you could try something similar.
Good luck!
2007-02-12 15:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he didn't want to become a musician...maybe you just wanted him too... There's a difference to those 2 statements. I would be a thankful father, and respect what he wants to do with his life. He could've been completely different and was living in your house at 28 years old. Your son did the right thing and did what he wanted to do. Maybe you wanted him to become a musician bc you weren't able to...and you wanted him to have your dream, but that's not how the world works. If a parent doesn't accomplish him/her dream, you can't pass it on to your child...unless they really seem to enjoy it.. (a great musician or an awesome singer) Hope I helped!
2016-03-29 04:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And what is grounding him for a month going to do? There is not much you CAN do at this point to prevent it, just hopes he outgrows this bit of "peer pressure rebellion". BTW my grandfather chewed and smoked for years...no what killed him? A 357 magnum, after a barfight.
2007-02-12 15:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you won't stop it, all you can do is to let him know how disappointed you are in him, hopefully that will do some good. Since the laws have drastically changed to 18 legal age to smoke, ask him if he really wants you to go to jail, because that could happen also.
2007-02-12 15:17:25 · answer #5 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I no you think you are doing the right thing by grounding him.Why do you think men grow up to be such good liar's.Your son knew if he came to you ,you would of lectured him and grounded him. One thing men cannot stand is to be lectured by a woman.So we do more harm then good by punishing them.What most parents forget is what it was like to be a kid.We grow up doing the same things our parents did to us.What I use to do with my son I would talk to him not at him .I'd talked to him one on one like I would of liked to be talked to when I was growing up .One thing I swear to myself when I was little I was never going to treat my kids the way I was treated . My son is 26 now and we can talk about anything .He calls me up for advise about girls about his friends . Do you understand what I'm saying .Please don't miss understand me I'm not telling you how to raze your son just giving you something to think about that's all. Lets hope that is all you have to worry about.
2007-02-12 19:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi,
all though peer pressure is a problem for kids, and they think hat we don't understand them you just have to bide your time. he'll come around and he will be your little smart boy before you know it. just to make sure find those pictures that he brought home for dad to see and kind of leave them laying around.
2007-02-12 15:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sonya K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
grounding doesnt work. hes still under peer pressure. move schools! and then ground him
2007-02-12 15:21:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start taking away his privileges- games, tv bike, phone, video, whatever.
2007-02-12 15:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if dad does it, he will also no matter how nasty, alchohol, smoking, beating woman, peer pressure is bs he is copying dad.
2007-02-12 15:17:06 · answer #10 · answered by Guy R 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋