"I think it is wrong to forget where you come from; you should be proud of being from where you are, and realize that it doesn’t make you better or worse."
how can i improve it?
2007-02-12 14:47:40 · 10 answers · asked by sandra a 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
second part should be: you should be proud of where you are from
2007-02-12 14:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by itititit4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't make sense. "I should be proud of being from where I am?" What? I am in my office chair. "Where I come from?" I come from CT by way of CA, IN, and MO. "realize that it doesn't make you better or worse." Than what, than who, than when? And if it doesn't make me better or worse, why should I have any pride in it?
I think that you are trying to discuss how a person should view their past. There are three supporting points. 1. Remember it. 2. Take pride in it. 3. Everyone has a past which is uniquely their own.
The first thing I would do to improve this is to make 3 sentences instead of one.
Second, substitute concrete nouns for your pronouns. For example, instead of "A while back some people..." try this "Four-score and seven years ago our fathers...".
Third, be more positive. It is good to remember.
Fourth, when the pronoun "you" is used it comes across to the reader as a command. Maybe you could use phrases like "a person" or "an individual".
2007-02-12 15:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Arrow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes sense, but it sounds a little awkward.
Notice how "being from where you are" repeats what you already said in the first part of the sentence. What if you said "proud of your background" or something similar instead?
Also I would make this two sentences. Try making the words "and realize that it doesn’t make you better or worse" into a new, complete sentence.
2007-02-12 14:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by jfspine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never forget your background because that was your foundation. Be proud of the fact that you have built something good upon that foundation no matter where it was located. You did not choose your beginning, but you decide your future. The person you become depends on what's inside of you, not on any external place.
2007-02-12 14:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bethany 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does this make sense not sence.
I think it is wrong to forget wher you come from. You should be proud of where you are from. Being from where you are does not make you better or worse than anyone else.
I hope that this has helped you.
2007-02-12 14:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by zoril 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is important to remember your family history and background.
You should be proud of your ethnic background and realize that it doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else.
2007-02-12 14:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"It is unwise to forget where you come from; people should be proud of their heritage and their present state, and realize that it doesn't make them better or worse."
2007-02-12 14:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Be proud of who you are. Never forget where you came from, it led the way to where you will go in the future.
2007-02-12 14:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by phylobri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is confusing and long. This is out of context of the rest of your paper, so I am not sure why you are making the point. My advice would be to make this more sentences and give examples.
2007-02-12 14:51:47 · answer #9 · answered by JQ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change the semicolon to a period, and add "from" after "are." Your use of the semicolon is what makes your sentence confusing.
2007-02-12 15:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by Steve 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋