I don't have hard evidence, but feels in my heart that he does/did. Now because I say I don't trust him, and he expects it from me, he wants to file for a divorce on grounds of "no trust in him". My lawyer wrote the suspected woman a letter to warn her to leave husband alone. The fact that she didn't respond to it is a clear indication of her guilt. Can i use this letter in divorce case?
2007-02-12 14:28:16 · 19 answers · asked by bibi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
a woman's "gut feeling" is correct the majority of the time. If you feel something is not right, then it's probaly not. He wants you to get the divorce so he can view you as the one who ended it so he doesn't have to feel so bad about what he has done. I wouldn't have had lawyer send a letter to the other woman, unless you knew that she did not know that he was married. Most of the time the "other woman" does know, then I think both your husband and the other woman are both to blame. Using the letter in a divorce case will get you nowhere except paying your lawyer more money. Unless you are trying to get a large monetary settlement from your husband through the divorce you are better have filing for a no-fault divorce. They are much quicker and a whole lot cheaper since your not spending months if not years in court trying to prove his infedilty. Now days it is almost impossible to prove unless you hire a private detective to get cold hard evidence. You know he is cheating, so just leave him. He is a cheater and so is she, they will never be happy with one person.
2007-02-12 15:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jana B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless your husband agreed to the "no contact" letter, it will hold very little weight, if any, at all. You can't tell someone to stay away from someone else unless you are their guardian, parent-child for example.
Are you sure she got the letter. Even if she did, so long that the letter is not from your husband, she can contact him all she wants and vice-versa.
I would find some hard evidence...follow him, get a friend to...hire a PI etc. It will make the divorce go a lot easier if the reason for it is because you have a reason to not trust him.
2007-02-13 10:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you feeling is normal and cheaters always lie about affair. Infidelity is always destructive, and often fatal, to a marriage. It is possible to avoid allowing infidelity to bring a marriage to an end, however. Discovering the betrayal and anticipating the potential loss of the person most important in your life causes great distress. Unlike the trauma of death, which has an end and can be compensated for by positive elements in the relationship, infidelity undermines all that is good in the relationship and the pain seems to have no natural end point. Although not welcomed, death is to be expected at some point in a marriage. Betrayal is not. The victim of betrayal questions if the spouse ever loved them, and if so, what they might have done to lose it. It is as if the adulterous spouse has thrown dirt in the river of their marriage contaminating the water behind them and before them. To recover from trauma, a victim has a natural tendency to go back to the traumatic experience, questioning, going over details repetitiously: “What did you do? Where? When? How often?” The traumatized spouse must go over the events until the emotional distress caused by them becomes manageable. They must reach a point where they feel there are no more surprises. Often, the betraying spouse wants to get things over quickly, after admitting to their infidelity. They must develop empathy for what the betrayed spouse is experiencing, and be willing to live with the pain of guilt, until genuine healing can occur. In addition, the betraying spouse may learn something about them self in the questioning process. They may begin to see their own motives, vulnerabilities, and selfishness. If both spouses can tolerate and control the emotions involved, they may come to a joint understanding of how the infidelity occurred, signaling the beginning of a more substantial level of recovery. Recovery usually takes 1 to 3 years. Good luck.
2016-05-24 03:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the letter will do you any good, especially since in most states today you can get a no fault divorce. I also don't think her not responding is an indication of her guilt. If someone sent me a letter like that I wouldn't respond either, there would be nothing to defend if I didn't do anything wrong. Sounds like you might have jumped a little to quick to me.
2007-02-12 14:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can divorce for any reason you wish..... usually under "irreconcilable differences. The only way to divorce is that you both use the same attorney..... if you have any estate at all, and each of you get one, it will cost you $6000 each.... use a mediating attorney, divorce in a civil manner, agree on how things ought to be split. He just fills out the paperwork, files it, and it costs a total of $75-300 depending upon state. In an adversarial position, attorney will drain you both dry, drag it on forever, and they walk away with your $$$$... Don't let them do that. If you don't want to be married to the guy any longer, tell him so, and get out without spending a lot of cash.
2007-02-12 14:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being paranoid. Is a "feeling in your heart" the only indication you have? If so, that is not enough, and that letter sent to that woman is HARASSMENT! Her not responding means nothing. She probably finds it too absurd to even bother. I do think you should get divorced, though. You don't seem ready for marriage.
2007-02-12 14:44:30 · answer #6 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need proof on your husbands part not on the part of
his mistress, because you are married to him. You can
divorce him soley because you see your marriage is not
working out and you have been un-happy for quite some-
time. However it would help if you had samlpes of the un-
happy times that you have had with him and you can
apply for a divorce just based soley on that. Good luck
and try and make the marriage work if he really loves you
and you really love him as divorce should be the last
re-sort.
2007-02-12 14:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the fact that she didn't respond to your letter doesn't mean jack.
It could have fallen off the table. It could have been damaged in the mail. She could have decided not to bother with some random, outrageous piece of mail sent to her.
Now he might still be cheating, but everything so far doesn't say anything to prove it.
2007-02-12 14:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by special-chemical-x 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, the letter that received no response hardly qualifies as clear evidence. Anyone can write anyone else a letter accusing them of anything.
2007-02-12 14:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask your lawyer send a divorce letter n ask him 2 sign it.
2007-02-12 14:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by gen2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋