My wife passed away some time ago from an auto accident. Currently, I find myself wanting to remove my wedding band, but I do not want to alienate my inlaws.
2007-02-12 14:26:54 · 20 answers · asked by weepingwillow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your ring is only a symbol, it is not your wife nor is it the love you still obviously carry in her memory. I doubt that you will hurt your inlaws by removing it but if it concerns you I encourage you to discuss this with them and explain your feelings. I truly believe they will understand. You seem ready to remove it and move on symbolically and so it's time.
I lost my husband as well, to suicide almost 2 years ago. There is much guilt and also some blame put on me by his parents. It is very hurtful to me and they have been quite judgemental regarding some of my decisions. He built a beautiful home for me, almost all with his own 2 hands. When he died I simply could not bear to live in it. I tried for over a year to remain as it was home and I loved it dearly but it was just a coffin without him. When I decided to sell it, his parents became outraged. They felt I was disrespecting his memory and no amount of explaining my heartache could convince them that I had to do this to continue with my life. What is more, I know he would have wanted me to do what was best for me.
I doubt that you will have much problem with a ring. I am currently wearing my set on my right hand but considering having them remade into a neclace so that I can wear them when I want and remove them when I feel like it without that feeling that something is mising that can come with wearing rings. You might consider having the gold from your band made into a setting for small diamond earings for daughters, or baby rings for grandchildren or some other rememberance for your children or grandchildren.
And finally, I think whatever is OKAY with you is okay. It is after all, your life, your wife and your ring.
2007-02-12 14:56:00 · answer #1 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a completely personal decision. Do what is right for you. I do not believe there is a right or wrong time. I don't think taking your wedding band off would alienate your inlaws. I am sure they don't expect you to grieve forever. I am very sorry for your loss.
2007-02-12 14:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you have come to terms about the tragedy and are ready to move ahead. It is appropriate to remove it when you feel like it. Your inlaws will understand, and if they don't, they will have to come to accept your decision. I doubt they will even say anything to you about it. Just make sure they remain an important part of your life if their opinions are that important to you. It sounds like you may have a wonderful relationship with them.
Best wishes
2007-02-12 14:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always thought it time when you're ready. There's really no limit on it. I've known of people to take it off after a few weeks, and I know people that have worn their ring for years afterwards as they weren't ready to let go.
When the time is right, you'll know. Don't wear it for the sake of other people, do it for you.
Good luck
2007-02-12 14:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by revoltix 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to take it off. Your life has to move on, and I am sure your wife loved you, and would want you to live your life, and be happy. Not to be stuck in time.
A close friend of mine lost his wife to leukemia in his early 30's.
When he was ready, he took off the ring. And as time went by, he healed more. And ended up meeting a great lady, who he has been married to, for years now, and very happy.
I wouldn't let the ring slow down your life.
I am terribly sorry for your loss...
2007-02-12 14:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by leahlovesspam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever feels right to you, removing your band does not mean you wish to sever the relationship with your in-laws.
If you feel ready to remove it then the time is right, you may also wish to wear it on your right hand or on a chain around your neck.
2007-02-12 14:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would assume you may remove it when you are comfortable removing it. No one can tell you when you are ready for that. If you have children, tell your inlaws you are saving the ring for them.
2007-02-12 14:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by RiverGirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's OK to remove your band whenever the time feels right for you. there are no set guidelines, just be sure you have given yourself enough time to heal some.
Sorry for your loss, and I hope you will find happiness again.
2007-02-12 14:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I am sorry --- mine was also killed in an accident as well. And my ring came off very shortly afterward... One can remain wedged in the past, or one can look to the future......Take your ring off, but keep the love you have for her in your heart... if she was any lady at all, she would not wish to to morn her forever.... in fact, she would wish you to find another....Love, companionship, the joy in one's heart that one has being partnered is too precious to give only once in one's life time....
2007-02-12 14:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what it will hurt them. Because it will seem that you have let go and moved on while their little girl is gone. I would suggest you give the ring to one of your kids. Maybe have it engraved with your wife's name and give it to your eldest daughter or son.
2007-02-12 14:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋