Ok, so this probably sounds silly, but my best friend is in med school. I moved away about 2 years ago and make it back to my hometown (where she goes to med school) about once or twice a year. Anyhow, I'll be home in March for about 5 days, and I called her to let her know I wanted to see her! Her response? "Oh, that's too bad that I won't be able to see you. I have the boards coming up, and I'll have to study." I asked her if she could take even just ONE HOUR to see me and she said that she wouldn't be able to--that she couldn't take any time away from studying. She said I just didn't understand because I wasn't in med school. I understand the boards are the most important test of her life, but this is the second time she's claiming to not be able to see me because she has to study.
So, is this reasonable? Or am I right to feel hurt and be a little angry? Thanks for your honest opinions! :)
2007-02-12 14:11:15 · 5 answers · asked by doza1621 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Yes, technically she can squeeze one hour.
Realistically, is that all you think you'll take? It'll either be 5 minutes because you can tell she's worried about her Boards or you guys will hit it off again and go way past that hour.
If you've ever talked to a med student before their Boards, they are PANICKED! It's like law students before the Bar exam. These tests are critical. Basically, she needs to pass it or she's wasted years of work.
So, you can feel hurt and a little angry. Those are your feelings. However, you just have to understand that this is common. Nearly all med students are like this.
Also, you have to understand that you haven't really seen her in 2 years. People grow apart. As they grow older, they have different priorities. People who used to be your best friend stop having as much in common with you.
If you really do want to see her, ask if you can swing by with a pizza (or just show up). She has to eat. If you bring food to her place, she won't be so scared because she'll be where all her books are.
2007-02-13 05:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Linkin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can find one hour of down time to visit with an old friend....and in fact, if she's studying that hard, really could use some diversion to keep her sharp.
Sorry to say, it sounds like you are just off her radar screen. She doesn't want to spend any of her "downtime" with you.
If it keeps bugging you, write her a letter pouring out your heart, but *don't send it to her.* Wait until after boards are over, and see if she has some other excuse. If not and things are good between you, just chalk it up to her perfectionism/anxiety over med school. If she comes up with a new variation on why she can't see you, then you will know she no longer wants your friendship.
Her loss.
2007-02-12 14:22:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure she is spending a lot of time studying and wants to pass the test, however she can't be spending 24 hours a day at it. You are right to feel hurt and angry. It seems like she just doesn't want to see you anymore. Give her space and after the boards are over try again. If you get put off, find someone else.
2007-02-12 14:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by JR 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't get it. Medical school is insanely hard! She has to totally commit herself to studying without any letup. If she doesn't pass these boards exams (which are incredibly difficult) she could be in big trouble... it could cost her many thousands of dollars in lost time and tuition.
If you were really a friend you would send her a box of chocolate chip cookies and say, "Can't wait to see you when you are finished school - I'll be so proud of you!"
Don't stab her in the back by making demands that she can't meet right now. What kind of friendship is that?
2007-02-12 15:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by matt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-02 01:22:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋