For the longest time I've been so concerned with my own beauty. People have told me I am pretty before, but I feel so ugly inside. I've seen beautiful girls at my school get basically anything they want (teachers like them more, guys hitting on them all the time, a ton of friends) why do these girls always get what they want? it just kind of makes me sad we live in such a superficial world now. I just feel like if I'm beautiful everything will come easier. What do you think? (leave the childish answers behind, please)
2007-02-12 14:08:24 · 11 answers · asked by i love love 3 in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
It's like the saying says, Beauty is skin deep. More than a few women and men who are beautiful or for that matter just those who just think they are. Tend to suffer from a few problems that kind of balance out the beautiful face/body...whatever.
Basically they don't "need" to be nice, or "need" to study too hard or "learn" to deal with people that don't just adore you.
Basically the "beautiful" miss the countless "opportunities" to learn what to do. These lessons that are taught daily and in plain sight to people who are not so externally gifted.
The next time you are in the hallway, look around an see if you notice any plain looking people being rejected by a potential date, or turned away by a teacher, or ignored by any of the boys or girls, notice them and perhaps learn from their experience.
The result is that because the "beautiful" don't have to endure these small daily hardships they tend - as a group to be somewhat underdeveloped in areas where they don't experience these daily challenges.
Because there are no barrier or problems that have to be overcome by everyone else, character tends to be somewhat underdeveloped. So when difficulties do arise, they tend to react badly, or become more easily discouraged than their less beautiful citizens.
Beautiful women become devistated and loose self-esteem much more rapidly and frequently then their more plain sisters, or friends because they don't have to deal with dozens of minor rejections every day and build up the confidence or character to ignore or deal better with them.
A perfect example of this, in our society is also the root answer to the "constant" mystery why beautiful girls/women will go out with or marry abusive boys/men.
Basically because when they run up against the abusive boyfriend/ husband they may not be as well emotionally armored against rejection or hostility as their more plain friends - whom have had to learn to cope with rejection and fear of the loss of "intimacy" or the lack of "intimacy" upon demand.
So combine abuse with these other fears and lack of experiencing dealing with bad situations and you get your perfect storm of the a**hole boyfriend and the beautiful but abused girlfriend - it might sound a little trite or funny but it's actually quite tragic.
Most everyone eventually has these same rejections or troubles in they're life but not everyone deals with them the same way at the same time but not dealing with them at all is just bad news.
As far as the expectations of society / culture are concerned, forget them concentrate on being a decent person.
It would probably be best if those expectations set in the media were a little less sociopathic/psychotic in nature but that won't happen. For instance, I remember a couple of ad campaigns a couple of years ago that never really made it out of NYC where I was working.
The trend in new models and the new "look" for kids was actually called "Heroin" chic, basically it was deemed "cool" if you look like you've been starved for the last week and haven't had any REM sleep for 1 or 2 days, but only just a little bit, if you were a little too over the top --- well you do just kinda look like a strung out junkie.
Next - and personally my favorite - in terms of destructive images the media promoted - was the "Pedophilia" chic. Where "what is cool" is if the girl or guy on the billboard could be maybe just about 16 or 15 and were posed like they'd just wrapped up a "heavy petting" sessions and if you looked hard enough - almost see - , well you get the idea - this lasted until the magazine ads started showing up on local TV stations with fairly righteously outraged parents on camera. Then it died,but only after an actual pedophile or two got caught on camera as the "Artistic genius" behind the "avante-guard" imagery.
So to answer your question. No, beauty doesn't solve anything, an more than money solves everything.
Like the Romans said of power, to their Emperors at their installments, "All power is fleeting, and remember you are mortal", the same is true for beauty.
Adbusters may be for you as well
http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~faigley/work/material_literacy/literacy.html
These ads were for Adbusters but had to be pulled for copyright reasons.
Perhaps better than anything I've written here is the "Dove Commerial" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U&mode=related&search=
2007-02-12 15:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mark T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is some truth to things being easier for pretty people but that is because we live in a very superficial media driven society. Honestly though just keep your chin up. From what it sounds you not only have beauty going for you but you sound like a genuine , smart girl. Not everyone falls for the "pretty girls" and plenty of those pretty girls put lots of effort into keeping up their facade (i.e. make up, waxing tanning, etc) so dont sweat it too much. If you are beautiful inside too people will see that and those that are what you deem, as beautiful yet are nasty people, people will see through that.
I don't always think or feel gorgeous, but I know I am a good person, and while my boyfriend tells me I am beautiful i know that wasn't what attracted him to me, it was because i am a good person and i love people and in turn people like to be friends with me, be around me. (none of that was being cocky). Society is pretty ignorant and looks at unimportant things but you will find a happy circle of people that looks past all that. Don't let any of that crap get you down.
2007-02-12 14:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to real beauty is loving yourself. I don't know if you believe in an upper power, but you are beautiful simply because God made you. If don't have any disabilities, if your body is in good working order and if you're healthy, what is not beautiful about that? I felt the same way you did through out High School and Jr High. I was an ugly duckling. But now, I'm gorgeous, and the "beautiful girls" who I went to school with are just "cute". Develop other talents and intellectual persuits so that when you grow into your skin, you'll be the whole package, not just a pretty face.
2007-02-12 14:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by meeeeeeeee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. We are just superficial that way. Go on the internet and you will
see tons of people saying "looks dont matter!!!!" but sadly, this is much easier said than being true.
Humans are just that way, no matter how much we denie it. I'm glad that you are looking at it this way, sadly there are very few "beautiful" girls that see it like that. It's usually the less pretty girls that realize this.
The way I see it, if you are beautiful, with a horrible personality, than people are most likey to not like you after seeing your personality. But of course, if a girl is beautiful kind, smart. Than sheis perfect!
2007-02-12 14:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by Skool_Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not always about the beauty, sometimes this girls get guys because of the way they present themselves.
not that i'm trying to bost, i'm not hot,i'm, just....normal, but when i go anywhere people are always crowed around, not because i'm the most beautiful girl in the room, but because of the way i act. i'm fun, and i can make you smile even if you're the most saddest person on earth. meanwhile some other girls are so beautiful you'll wonder if the guys are blind.
i have a friend who the guys always want to get with because she's beautiful but after a week or so, you'll see them running away from her as far as possible.
beauty never ever solve anything, it's about the what's in your heart.
2007-02-12 14:29:49 · answer #5 · answered by Rhoda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know sometimes I think the same thing... If only I were more like this, looked more like that, lost more weight things would be better for me in everything I do and I'd have more confidence but honestly I don't think it would make things better. Once something gets better something else comes into play to make things bad again. At least for me. If I don't complain about my looks I'm complaining about something else. Everything always seems to even out.. something bad happens then something good happens. But I do get compliments on my appearance but I constantly pick at myself and put myself down for not looking good enough. Beauty does not solve everything... if anything it only makes things worse.
2007-02-12 14:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beauty is only skin deep my dear. In the long run, a pretty face doesn't go all that far. Combine it with some great personality, brains and passion, and then you have a masterpiece.
2007-02-12 14:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks really dont matter but you've probably heard that a million times before! You probably are pretty! I wish I could find the right words to say to you. srry! I hope I helped juss a lil bit!
2007-02-12 14:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not too pretty on the outside, but I have attitude.
Keep a smile on your face and a positive attitude and the
face on the girl looks even more pretty!
2007-02-12 14:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by happy_southernlady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone goes through this
guys dont even know what there getting into yet
dont worry youll find someone
2007-02-12 14:14:15 · answer #10 · answered by -amy- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋