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I'm 22 and married...he's around 40 and married also. He talks occasionally about how he's ran around with other women. I don't want a relationship...I just want to have some fun. What should I do??

2007-02-12 13:39:16 · 52 answers · asked by Jessie 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I think I got married too young... and just to be clear I would not do anything unless I was certain we were going to be divorced. My husband also doesn't treat me very well. I've only ever been with my husband and I think maybe I just want to try something different.

2007-02-12 13:54:17 · update #1

52 answers

Avoid this potentially dangerous situation like the plague!

Don't jump from a frying pan into the fire. Maybe your marriage is failing, maybe it isn't... However, any "older" (i.e.: knowledgable) man that confides that he's "ran around with other women" is just trying to get you in bed. Nothing more will come of this. His approach, and personal justification, is to try to be as "honest" in the beginning as possible, so he can have his fall back - "I told you, I ran around with other women.... not that I was looking to get married or have a long-term relationship" - I can just hear those words falling out of his mouth three months into your heart breaking affair.

You will get hurt. You husband will get hurt. You will regret this moment. A lady should be "free from accusation." So you got married too young? So did I. I regret not behaving like a lady. Don't make the same mistake.

2007-02-12 14:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by brassinpocket 3 · 0 0

Is it what your relationship lacks at the moment that you would like rather than this other guy?

If so why dont you try spicing up your love life try dressing up or sex toys.

If it is really the other guy how do you know if the other guy feels the same way?.

These are the most important questions you need to answer first and only you can answer them.

Also think about wether it it is still worth been married if what you want is not available from the current marriage.

This is not to be taken lightly tread carefully as one path if you choose to take it means you will be treading on your partners heart and you could end up loosing out both ways.

It seems you have a choice to make so ill leave you to it. There is no right or wrong choice bear in mind. Its a choice from the heart .
Hope i helped in ur quest for happiness.

Rezz

2007-02-12 13:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

NOTHING. Look honey, you are going to run into this from time to time and you might as well learn to handle this now if you intend to remain married and happy to any degree.

You married a man and made a promise. That promise was to remain faithful. if you are asking me what to do (and you are), then I am saying NOTHING. Take your hands from the wheel, move away from the vehicle - nothing, nada, zero, zilch. Learn and learn fast that you will be attracted to men that you cannot have and that you must not act on this. Pull up your big girl pants and be a married woman. If you can't do that then do what is necessary to become single and do it now. You do not deserve a man who is faithful.

You have such a long way to go and if you cheat now you will never make it and you will feel rotten - promise - or you should. The whole purpose of taking that vow was to keep yourself unto one person. You haven't even the excuse of being in a long time marriage and having hit that wall of boredom and regret.

Do what you want, dear child, you will anyway, but honestly, my feeling is that it will never stop and will destroy your life.

Jessie - I see that you have now added that you believe you married too young, but honey, having fun with an older married man who sees you as nothing but one of a series will do nothing for the way you see yourself. Before you add another man to the mix you need to do the grown up thing and find some resolution to your marriage. Either put ALL of your energy into to it or ALL of your energy into getting out of it and THEN ond only then pursue other interests. First things first honey. It's about doing the grown up woman thing.

2007-02-12 13:54:06 · answer #3 · answered by Ande 4 · 1 0

Before you put too much energy into considering another man.....you should figure out whether or not you want to retain the one your in. Yeah, you may have married too young...but that was YOUR choice. It is not justification for pursuing a new relationship, much less with another man.
If you are truly unhappy.....make a decision....mend your marriage or leave it. If you carry on in a new relationship without fixing the one your in or leaving it....you will only take your current problems into the new one....sounds miserable huh???
I have seen that a few people have resorted to calling you names...I don't think that is necessary....just figure out what you want and make a decision. Don't betray your husband by having an affair...it is better to leave the marriage before you go through with something like that!!!!
BTW...being married doesn't mean that you will never desire another person...it means that you will refrain from your desires!!!

2007-02-12 14:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0 0

well gee, you should forget the vows you made to your husband (hopefully you don't have any kids that you'll betray too) and just use the older guy for sex. I mean really, it's all about what you want anyway, right? Who cares what's honorable, moral or ethical? Just use your husband for taking out the garbage, and use the other married man for sex, what's so difficult about this? (SARCASM APPLIED HEAVILY) Oh, and wait, I'm sorry, I forgot to add that if you are unhappy in your marriage, instead of trying to work on it and improve it, being unhappy gives you a free pass to make poor decisions and be selfish. I don't want to forget that one.

2007-02-12 13:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2 0

He doesn't place any importance on trust and fidelity. He's a sleaze. I wonder what his wife is like. You're young and it's hard sometimes to be "stuck" with one guy all the time. Keep it to fantasies. Trust and fidelity are the bedrock of a marriage that keep it solid through awful times. You got married young, such is life. Find out how to spice up the sex you have and find other interests to share, or other things to do for him to show your affection, or other activities with girlfriends to occupy your time and interests.

Sexual intimacy outside of marriage does not qualify as "just having some fun" especially to your husband. BIG TIME.

2007-02-12 13:51:49 · answer #6 · answered by Casperia 5 · 1 1

Ouch! I think Shakespeare said, "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." Understand the consequences before you proceed. His wife may end up being the scorned one or you may be. Either one is not a pretty picture.

I am not going to tell you what to do or what not to do, just be careful and look at the ramifications of your own marriage and family and his before you cross a line from which there is no return.

Good luck.

2007-02-12 13:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by JohnnyQuest 2 · 1 0

well if you have to ask what you should do you must still want to be in you marriage... so if you havent acted on it already or left your hubby i so wouldnt ruin my marriage and my life for some "fun" that wont last or be meaning fulor maybe not even be that much fun at all. Maybe you should find a way to put some "fun" in your marriage

2007-02-12 13:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by klroe77 1 · 1 0

Go to a therapist and find out why you married so young...you might also explore why you are attracted to a cheater.
Oh, yeah...you might also explore reasons why you are considering being one.
And while you're at it, maybe you will discover what it means to be faithful, loyal and a person of substance.
Or not.

2007-02-12 13:44:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

you need to some serious prayer. Dont think about it, if you know you'll probably cheat, it's better to stop talking to the married guy. you are married, there is no more fun with other guys. have fun with your husband.

2007-02-12 13:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by labo 2 · 2 0

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