Do you like them?
Here they are:
You Are Here
By Leah
Age 10
You are here but also up above
You are here saying my name
You are here taunting me, haunting me
You are here saying you love me
Your hand on my shoulder, i know its there
I try to touch you, try to reach out
But all i feel is cold air on my fingers
But you are here
You are here
Heres another one
She
She, her arms glimmering in the moonlight
She, her legs leaping gracefully across the concrete
She, The streetlamps Her spotlight
She, the one you never see in the daytime
She, dancing, in the city jungle
And another
(some of you may not like this one cuse you think i dont know anythhing about relationships and breakups, but, even though you may not beileve it, i have been through both)
The Breakup
I say hi
you say hi
i say why
you say bye
i say bye
then i cry
Thats it tell me what you think!!!!
Ways how i can improve my writing, anything!!
i am an aspiring writer and have written short stories, too!
Thanks!!
2007-02-12 13:29:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Mmm... That's good enough. Kepp up the good work.
2007-02-12 13:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by crocker_range_boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE the fist two, but the last one was a wink shaky. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! and consider getting them published after a few talks with ...people abroad.
2007-02-12 22:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by LadyDragonRider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first two are really good! Especially because your only ten! If this is something you like doing definitely keep it up! You can only get better and better. Good luck to you and most importantly have funn!
2007-02-12 21:38:11 · answer #3 · answered by . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You show great promise for a 10year old. Your poems are ery mature, and your choice of words are appropriate. Take courses in writing in school, and write, write, write . I liked your poems very much.
2007-02-12 21:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats good!, but only if u did it if ur taking credit for somone elses work than thats not right but if u really truely did this i give you an A+ 10.0 GOOD JOB GIRL!!
2007-02-13 17:38:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Great
Keep it up! create some more! It will Improve your skill!
2007-02-12 21:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your age they are very good. Especially She.
2007-02-12 21:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by agnosticaatheistica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first 2 are EXCELLENT. the last one is good, but not AS good. great job!
2007-02-12 21:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by Flutie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are very good! Keep it up!
2007-02-12 21:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by soccer0123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋