the thing is that i have to answer some questions right??.... well, i did answer them but i think they sound a little weird.. can u help me please to correct any mistake that u see??
note: im just learning English.. thank u
1.The details in this paragraph are very convincing and specific, because she told us what happens step by step.
2.The topic sentence of this paragraph is “That means we spend almost all day preparing the dinner and anticipating it; it also means that the members of my family traditionally spend this time together.” The controlling idea is that they spend Christmas time together as a family.
3.The holiday that I enjoy the most is Christmas, because my whole family gets together and we open presents, dance, sing, and eat our favorite food. The best part of it is being with my family and knowing that they are always there for me.
2007-02-12 12:54:27 · 12 answers · asked by sandra a 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
The other 2 paragraphs are fine but the 3rd one you repeated family, instead say"The best part of it is being with my loved ones and knowing they are always there for me"
2007-02-12 12:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. The details in this paragraph are very convincing and specific because she told us exactly what happened.
(take out the comma before because ... you also use 2 different tenses in the final phrase ... told/happens ... it should be told /happened or tells / happens ... step by step is a redundent phrase and could be dropped and replaced with exactly)
2. This seems to be ok ... I am guessing the quote must be exact so you cannot make changes in it, but it could actually be written better.
3. The holiday I enjoy most is Christmas. My whole family gets together to open presents, dance, sing, and eat. The thing I enjoy most about the holiday is just being with my family and knowing that they are always there for me.
(I made your first sentence into 2 seperate sentences. It makes it a little easier to read. I also took out the "and we" because it makes it sound to wordy. The less words used helps the reader to stay focused. I also removed the "it" from the last sentence since it is not real clear that it refers back to Christmas and just changed a few of the words at the beginning of the sentence to help make it more readable.
I hope this helps! Continued success in learning the English language!!!
2007-02-12 13:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by TheGorilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. The details in this paragraph were very convincing & specific because the author told us what happened step by step.
2. "That means we spend almost all day preparing dinner and anticipating it; it also means that the members of my family traditionally spend this time together." is the topic sentence of this paragraph. Spending Christmas time together is the paragraph's controlling idea.
3. No improvement needed.
2007-02-12 13:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by benildean_blazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd word it this way: As we spend all day preparing dinner; we anticipate my family members will enjoy spending this traditional Christmas time together.------------ Christmas is the holiday I enjoy the most as my family joins together to celebrate by dancing, singing, opening presents and spending family time together at Christmas as a family.
2007-02-12 13:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by Country Boy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3. The holiday I enjoy the most is Christmas as my whole family gets together to open presents, dance, sing and eat our favourite foods. The best part is being together and knowing they are always there for me.
I think this is how this should read.
2007-02-12 13:04:31 · answer #5 · answered by stephanie p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Remove the comma after "specific."
2. I am assuming you are quoting here and it's not your writing. The last sentence should be changed, but to make it simple, just remove "controlling."
3. Remove the comma after "Christmas." Remove comma after "sing." I would change the last sentence to "The best part about my family is being with them and knowing that they will always be there for me."
2007-02-12 12:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are very good sentences. the only think i have to say is that if you are writing these answers to somebody you should remove the comma from in front of 'because' in #1. as far as sentence structure and everything it is done well. i teach english to koreans and these sentences look like and english speaker wrote them. if you didn't say that you were learning english i wouldn't have guessed it.
2007-02-12 13:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by Yee Haw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never use a comma before a because
and your topic sentence for number 2 doesn't sound like a topic sentence. you're basing it off another sentence before it. u know like "that means". make it seem more like a topic sentence.
2007-02-12 13:09:31 · answer #8 · answered by <3 makes the world go round 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn!
2007-02-12 12:58:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
They are really quite nicely done. I wouldn't change a thing.
2007-02-12 13:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Joe Schmo from Kokomo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋