this is for the guys-->i don't understand. why do men have affairs if they know its wrong.?

Question

my dad had an affaire when i was three while my mom was pregnant with my sister. then she took him back. then he had another when i was 11 and he ended up leaving my mom for his mistress. now as a married man( again) he had another affair on my step mom. when i ask him about it he gets mad at be for being upset. but he wont let me tell my step mom what he did but she deserves to know. he says oh well just leave it, it was my mistake. but if he realizes how wrong this is and how much he hurts people why does he keep doing it!! i need help understanding his point of view.

Answer 1

Your dad has no excuse. He is a selfish man who behaved that way because he put his sexual desires ahead of the happiness of his family. He knew he could get away with it and still have the love of your mother for a while at least and your love of course. It's hard to accept that your parents can do things that hurt others on purpose. That is the way things are in some families. Your dad is a liberal and you are paying the emotional price for his liberal attitudes.

Answer 2

There are lots of reasons people have affairs. Personally, I had never even been tempted and the thought never seriously crossed my mind until it just got to the point that my needs were simply not being met at home. Whether or not I acted on the temptation to actually seek fulfillment is another issue, I'm just saying that lack of fulfillment is often a reason.

And, no, I'm not justifying having an affair.

For more insight, try here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnorYnX5OKXvMCKRFWbdoC8jzKIX?qid=20061230103002AA9lM0q

I hope it helps you to understand from a man's point of view why some do it. Relationships require a lot of work and effort from both partners. It's not uncommon for one partner or the other to take the other for granted and not put forth the effort to fulfill one anothers needs be it emotional, physical or social.

And then, some people-men and women-are simply following lustful desires.

P.S. It's probably best if you do not interfere in your dad's and your stepmom's relationship no matter how wrong you think your dad is. You'll be spending a lot of time and energy trying to right a wrong that you have not control over and could end up making matters worse for everyone.

Answer 3

Dude if you don't have any kids get out before she traps you with some . Look if you know you know that is just that and how much longer do you think you can go on unhappy and lied to before you just go nuts . Change it up man make her nerves go crazy do things you wouldn't do get a job around other girls get her off your mind don't drink or do drugs because you may go crazy and call her all drunk . See if she loves you she knows that the truth is the only way to keep you and she will tell you what you never wanted to know . when she is confronted with the reality of no longer having you and if not then **** it man look at her for what she is hell if she can't admit it It must be pretty bad . It sounds like you both have a case of it never happened going on . Start a big fight about it and rite before you do that go put a tape recorder in her car with a lil luck she could vent a home girl . and you could get the goodys you need to move on get creative you can fin a cell phone by gps free on line . think out side the box because she is buddy . hell tell her you hade an affair see if she gets made and tells you , fake like you got word from somebody .

Answer 4

People always hurt each other. Women also have affairs, and do numerous other things, but I won't go into all that.

Answer:

Some people are not good at dealing with problems. Where some people know to knuckle-down and face problems so that they will finally be resolved, some people like to run, to ignore, to avoid.

I am truly sorry for you, but he cannot change until he faces his demons, and for some people that is a bridge too far, no matter the consequences. He may love you and your mother, but his deficiencies keep him from conveying that correctly. Until he reaches a point where his problems are inescapable, he will probably continue to hide from them in whatever manner is convenient. In short, it's a perverted sense of narcissism.

Answer 5

I have never been unfaithful to anyone, but I do know others that have been. Most tell me that it is because they are lonely, or bored, or no longer in love. I say if your lonely then get marriage counseling, if you bored, take up wood working, if your not in love anymore, get out and stop hurting the ones that love you. There is no excuse that is valid where cheating is involved. It sounds like your father is a very self consumed person. Some where while he was growing up he learned that cheating is only wrong if you get caught. Poor morals values in my book.

Answer 6

because some guys do not totally understand how this makes someone feel. everyone is human and makes mistakes. what separates the adults from the kids is what we learn from our mistakes, or at least try to. sit down and talk to him and get his side of the story and explain yours and how you feel. this should help out a lot. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 7

there are people who don't deserve to see the outside world. they should jus stay home on the computer lookin at porn. Okay, most do this jus for the pleasure. and yeah its not right. really not right. others jus do it jus because they are evil in that way, they jus want to see the people they love or loved be hurt. its disgusting. im sorry.

Answer 8

Alot of people go on how the feel. Love is not a feeling it is a choice. You have to choose to be married for it to last. Not just like i don't feel like i am in love with them anymore. It is that or he is a dog.

Answer 9

sometimes its the thrill of either taboo or breaking the rules. if you've ever stolen something, be it little or small, you kind of get a little chill in your spine, but not exactly a bad one, almost like a guilty pleasure. its pretty much the same thing. unless they are bored with the sex, relationship, your looks, etc....

Answer 10

has it occured to you ,since you were so young as you say that your mom may be telling you a fib?could it be you have been snowballed ,think about it before judging based on what someone says , mother or not???