Im 4 weeks pregnant and my 12 year old wanted a baby brother or sister so bad now im pregnant but when i told her that what she always dreamed for a baby brother or sister her wish came true she PANICKED!!!Do you think she will get over it and start to be happier about the baby do you think she will get over it or not
2007-02-12 11:01:38 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
She will come around.
2007-02-12 11:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by Monte T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably just needs some time to get used to the idea. It has always been a confusing thought to me when parents to be are concerned about how their existing children will "deal" with a new sibling. It's not like they have a choice in the matter. Would you terminate if she doesn't get a handle on this? Of course not! I say it's not a problem unless you treat it like one. There is going to be an addition to the family, period! Everyone should be happy about it, but if not, at the very least, everyone must accept this reality. Since when do children get to have a say in how many children his/her parents have? Maybe it's because she's been the only child for 12 years that you feel the need to somehow "fix" this for her so she will be happy about it. You can't! Annnd, you don't have to. Go about your day to day happy about the new baby to be. She'll "catch" your joy. Good luck and health to your family!
2007-02-12 11:14:19 · answer #2 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has been an only child for so long - The thought of having a sibling was great in theory but probably scarring in reality. My daughter was 7 when I got pregnant with my second and she was terrified that I wouldn't love her as much etc. Have a sit down with your daughter and encourage her to talk about her fears. Answer them the best you can but dont make her feel silly for worrying.. Also, once baby comes - make sure that you still have quality time with her just you and her!! When my son was born, my daughter felt left out no matter how hard I tried to include her.. then I realized she just wanted mommy and daughter time. She will get over what she is feeling now as your pregnancy gets farther along but it will change once the baby is born. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open and she will be fine!!
Congrats
2007-02-12 11:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! That is wonderful news. It is also awesome news and it takes time for the idea of another person in the family to settle in, both for the parents and the children.
It's quite normal for your daughter to feel this way. She's at an age when there is a lot going on for her socially, emotionally, physically, cognitively etc.
It's also normal at this age (pre-puberty) for kids to feel embarrassed by their mum's pregnancy because it is a very public show of the fact that their parents are still doing it. No matter how young you are, to a 12yr old you're middle aged if you have kids and they may think it's gross you still feel that way about each other.
Let her express her feelings and reflect back to her what she is saying. She needs to feel listened to and understood and that her needs are still going to be met even when there is a demanding baby in the house.
I'm sure she would love the responsibility of helping out with the baby (taking it for walks around the block or whatever) and this will also help her bond with baby (not to mention give her some very valuable training for the future).
Good luck!
2007-02-12 11:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by nangari 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah she will, just be SURE to take her out to dinners (maybe you could set it up every friday) and have a baby-sitter sit the baby so you the 12 year old and dad can go out alone.
Also, tell her the night of the baby being born you will ALWAYS love her so much and never more than you love the baby.
Be sure you do things a lot with only her, and for the first couple of months don't take the baby out alone.
Good Luck.
Make sure she knows you love nothin more than her! ♥
2007-02-14 14:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give here plenty of time, as kids will feel left out when the baby comes around , but if you give her praise for being a good sister then she'll feel more appreciated and less jealous.
Even though 12 yrs as being the ONLY CHILD is a big difference it can take some time to adjust to a new member of the family, it can have many rewards later on.
My kids are 5 yrs apart and my oldest still gets jealous, but he knows that his little brother will always be a part of our life.
Good Luck
2007-02-12 11:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by Momma-Mia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will get over it and her feelings will change . Remind her how important she is too you and that she can be a big help to her younger sibling when it's born. Including her in the up coming preparations such as getting things together and ready for the new arrival to your household should help much. She probably just panicked realizing she may have to share your attention with the baby when it comes . I expect she'll be quite excited about it as soon as she has time to think it over a bit more just give her reassurance that you will still love her as much as always.*
2007-02-12 11:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she will get over i and truly be happy. Change is always kind of scary. I'm an only child and I have always wished for a brother or sister. Let her help you pick out things for the baby and value her opinion. If you make her a big part of things, then she will adjust better.
2007-02-12 11:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Steph 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents also had my baby brother when I was the same age, and I was an only child before. I reacted the very same way! I guess I always really did I wanted a little brother or sister, but once it was actually coming true, I though my parents wouldn't love me as much anymore, that they would love the baby more.....Talk to your cild, let them know that the only reason a baby gets more attention is becasue he is still a baby, and let them know that you still love them
2007-02-12 11:06:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anna =] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the baby is on the way and now your kid has changed her mind...hmm...Chances are she will get over it and oon learn to respect the fact that another human being will soon be in the family. Talk to him/her about the baby and ask her how she feels. Remember to give him/her the attention she needs too, then she may feel like an outcast. Talk to him/her and tell them that a baby needs a lot of care. Ask them to be your personal little baby helper, that way they'll learn and they'll accept the baby. The will see how much trouble you went through when he/she was a baby! The best thing to do is talk, talk, talk!
2007-02-12 11:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 5 when my sis was born and 7 when my brother was born...I was opposite with my sister I wanted one UNTIL the day she was born but with brother I was devastated then he was born and was happiest day of my life.
The best thing to do, would be to include her in things like shopping and planning, and make sure you keep reassuring her that you won't forget her or abandon her thats probably her fear.
Keep reminding her how she'll have a little bro or sister to look after and how much fun it will be!
Also ask her advice as a kid what stuff baby would like, to keep her included.
2007-02-12 11:08:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋