Is this a normal situation, please help me.?

Question

There is a lady who has moved in recently next doors and she is also recently divorced. She came and introduced herself one day. Since then almost everyday she has something to ask my husband to do for her via me. I have always happily told her I will tell him and he has done those things for her as well. Nothing has been left out like picking up her parcel from the post office or dropping and picking up her kids from school or elsewhere and recently she has given a list of shopping goods and money in an envelope to do the shopping for her. She always says that she is a very capable person and she never needed her husband to do anything for her. However, I have also seen other people with cars coming to her house to drop things or take them out etc. So, I know it is not only me she takes help from. I know that if I were an unmarried women I would hesitate to ask my neighbor to always tell her husband to do things for me. Please tell me if I am wrong and what I can do about it

Answer 1

In this world helping someone should'nt be a problem because we don't know when we will need that person,but this is what Jehovah has to say on this account, Proverbs5:1-8 My son, to my wisdom O do pay attention. To my discernment incline your ears, so as to guard thinking abilities; and may your own lips safeguard knowledge itself. For as a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping and her palate is smoother than oil. But the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood; it is as sharp as two-edged sword. Her feet are descending to death. Her very steps take hold on She'ol itself. The path of life she does not contemplate. Her tracks have wandered she does not know [where]. So now, O sons listen to me and do not turn away from the sayings of my mouth. keep your way far off from alongside her, and do not get near to the entrance of her house. Also ready Proverbs7:21-23 it readys She has misled him by the abundance of her persuasiveness. By the smoothness of her lips she seduces him. All of a sudden he is going after her, like a bull that comes even to the slaughter, and just as if fettered for the discipline of a foolishman. I don't mean to sound like you can't just your husband but be aware of your surrounding say's the utterance of Jehovah God, trust but be aware, if you don't want him to do those things for the lady than tell him or her about it, or ask him not to do so much if it's ok with you, with your presents at times. I hope that this can answer your question and help you.

Answer 2

I live in a neighborhood with mostly single women. Only time my husband helps is if it is extremely heavy and needed help at the moment when he or we are outside. I would not like my husband to help them all the time, he has enough to do with our own family and house. Can you ask her to ask someone else, say your husband is tired, or busy, try to cut down on this in a nice manner. No, you're not wrong, it's rude. I can see somethings that are big or needed at the moment. But shopping - be real! Don't worry she will find someone else to do it for her, as you listed others do help. Try to be nice, but insist that he's busy or tired. If you feel you can't do that, tell your husband in a few days, maybe she will get the drift it will not be when it is convenient for her, but for you guys. Sorry you're in this mess!

Answer 3

Be honest, but kind. Next time she asks such a favor. tell her that you feel uncomfortable with her asking so much and that you just don't have the time to do it all. Also tell her that you feel uncomfortable with her asking your husband to do so much. Tell her that you don't mind helping ocassionally, but you need to set some boundries.

Another way would be to just start saying NO to everything. and eventually she will find someone else to help her.

For instance if she asks for you to drop something off for her just tell her that you have a very busy day and really don't have time to do that. Sorry , then smile nicely.

Really YOU are letting her take advantage of you. You have a mouth to say no.

Good luck

Answer 4

Well well well 2 hours and nobody wants to answer i guess they are all afraid to be reported !! Lolzzz Really Gigi, don't ask a q and threaten to report people, they are free to say what they wish!! Ok what i saw from police officers..... In the streets, they are not very helpful, actually a lot of them mix up the on going traffic signals, but still i pity them standing there in the heat and the cold and i do find some excuse for their agitation or lack of manners dealing with drivers. In the police station and other governmental offices..... they are there to make yr life harder..... Lol (sorry sweetie, but i am saying the truth). Ok..... i remembered sthg nice and funny, my friend went to renew her drivers license and she found 2 tickets for "keyada khatra" dangerous or reckless driving...... she asked to talk to the officer in charge and then said i ll pay the fines if u just explain how this could be possible driving a seat...( remember the old one that was small enough to fold and put it in yr pocket)..... the police officer laughed his heart out, apologized and removed the tickets he even sat her down, got her a lemonade and finished all the procedures for her...... ok happy now!!

Answer 5

She doesn't sound very independent and will eventually keep asking and asking you and your family to help her out until you put a stop to it.

Is there any reason why she doesn't do these things ? No car ? A disability ?

If she's got no reason to justify your assistance, it's really up to you guys to decide if you want to continue helping her out.

If it's not putting you too much out of your way, then just help out. But if it's taking too much of your time or clashing with your own family's needs, then cease helping her.

Answer 6

If I were you, I would politely tell her "no". It is not a normal situation, and needs to be dealt with accordingly. If a neighbor came to me in an emergency, I would certainly help them - but if it was an everyday occurence, I would put a stop to it very quickly. Grow a spine, and learn to say a big fat "NO". It's a useful skill!

Answer 7

Why do you even have to ? this. She is a fully functioning adult I wouldn't get my husband to help her. She isn't a long time family friend and even still. We don't know the reason for the divorce. She isn't sick she is divorce I say keep it hi and bye neighbor. She has already crossed the line in receiving help. Don't feel guilty she isn't your responsibility.

Answer 8

You are being taken advantage of. Next time she asks tell her that your husband and you are too busy. Make sure first to tell your husband that you don't like what is going on and that in future you will tell her you are both too busy

Answer 9

i agree with the first person, she is a parasite. you need to tell her to slow down on these, after all since she is an adlut it is her responsibility for half of those things. why can't she do them herself? especially pick up her kids and mail. she doesn't need all those people doing errands for her, its not right they/ you have lives too.

Answer 10

I would steer clear of this person. She is on the hunt for a provider. Let it not be yours :)