2007-02-12 10:59:42 · 18 answers · asked by Jersey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How about redirecting your love and affection towards your husband and save your marriage?
2007-02-12 11:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by Here I Am 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even the happiest, most stable marriage will get boring after a while. Heck, ESPECIALLY the happiest and most stable. You've been raising kids, and so your life isn't really yours to live; the same goes for him. So the magic of your relationship has long since been pushed aside for the sake of your children.
Then, along comes this guy who doesn't have his own kids (probably), and who is new and exciting (to you) -- wonderful! He hasn't been living with you for 10+ years, so he seems so attentive and interested in you; he hasn't been raising kids with you, so you've never seen him at his sleepless, cranky worst. I bet he makes you feel like a young, single woman again.
Ah, but there's the rub: you're not a young, single woman. It must be wonderful to feel like you are for the first time in years, but you're not. And remember, you were "in love" with your husband, before the life you have together got boring.
So this goes one of two ways:
1. You decide to leave your husband and go with this guy. You don't have kids -- or you do, if you get custody -- and you have an exciting new man. After the pain and suffering of the divorce and everything, you enjoy your new life -- for a while. Then it becomes a routine, just like your current marriage, especially if you're now raising your kids with the new guy. Eventually, you only "love" this guy, and you'll be "in love" with some new guy, or even with your old ex (at which point you'll post a question here about that.)
2. You decide to have an affair, in the hope that it will spice up your life without jeopardizing your marriage. Odds are very, very good that you will get caught, and you'll go through a far more painful divorce -- and it will still be your fault, just like if you decided to leave your husband, but a lot more painful for him, you, and the kids.
So, you see where I'm going with this. If you value your family, do what you have to do to keep it intact and make it a happier place for you to be. If you'd rather be with this guy, be above-board about it and take responsibility for your actions -- and don't be surprised if it's only a temporary respite from your boredom.
By the way, I bet your husband feels exactly the same way you do. Raising kids is HARD, and it sucks the life out of many marriages. The thing is, he's hanging in there and making the best of it -- you should probably do the same, and together you can find ways to bring the excitement back.
2007-02-12 11:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you say you love your hubby dearly if you are in love with someone else? I think you need to reacess your true feelings for these men. Then if you truly are in love with some one else, you need to decide if it's worth the pain you will cause your hubby and your children to tell him. On the other hand, if you are thinking of cheating on your husband, it's time to get out of the marriage.
2007-02-12 11:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by roncarolhillsstupid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are smart you will cut off all contact with this third person.
If you do not then you do not really love your hubby.
Why are you being selfish to your hubby and children? What is this other person providing that the father of your children is not?
What has your hubby done to deserve this disrespect?
Drop the other guy or move out and don't disrespect your spouse any longer.
2007-02-12 11:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I must say that you really do not love your husband as dearly as what you say you do because you are loving someone else. I feel you are being selfish and only loving and thinking of you just in this relationship and what you want. yes i definitley feel that you should tell your husband about the feelings for this other person. You should do the right thing and work on loving your husband and working on your marriage and letting the other person go.
2007-02-12 11:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure things out because once you tell him there is no way to put it back in the bag.
You can work things out with him, once you are sure that you want to be with him.
If not do him a favor and leave.
Some things are better left unsaid.....
The pain of what you tell him will cut him deeply, and he will never be able to trust you again, or will wonder what you do during the day, basically you will drive him insane.....
Either you love him or you don't, forget the other guy, it will lead to destruction and hurt.
2007-02-12 12:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by Rick T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO. There is no value in telling your husband about your interest. If you tell him then you will only hurt him and this is an issue that YOU need to deal with. Either get over the other guy and stick with your husnabd, or tell your husband and move onto your new man. Whom would be foolish to think he can have a solid relationship with someone whom is unfaithful to their current partner. It is a slippery slope that YOU control. Do not bring your husband into it unless you want him out.
2007-02-12 11:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by njsnowrider 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be candid. sit down him down, tell him you have been untrue and you met somebody else you go with to pursue a relationship, and you do no longer choose to be married anymore. You tell him you "fell out of love," yet i'd assume him being skeptical approximately you loving him interior the 1st place. yet at this factor, that's the final semblance of an honorable element you're able to do. in terms of honesty and integrity, that horse has surprisingly plenty bolted...yet you will desire to be waiting to do a guy that replace into married to you for ten years one final courtesy via giving him the possibility to permit you comprehend what he thinks approximately you and your habit, and to go away you on his own words.
2016-11-03 07:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by dewulf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women like you continue to prove my point: That women live for c0ck regardless of the consequences. Sure, the women here will tell you that everything is cool and to keep it a secret.
But if I or any other male were to ask the same question, I would get all kinds of nasty answers back loaded with insults.
So Ladies, answer me this: Why the double standard?
Back to the question your man deserves justice so tell him the truth so that he can get away from you and bang all kinds of hotties.
2007-02-12 11:04:45 · answer #9 · answered by Billy Bob D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a funny thing - the feeling comes and goes - I'm sure that you feel that you are in love with this other person but I doubt that you really are. Love isn't just a feeling - it's a commitment - a decision. Cut all ties with this other person and be honest with your husband.
2007-02-13 03:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better rethink this dear, you are headed for a world of trouble, and your children, what would you be teaching your children? They Love their Father. Remember the grass always LOOKS greener on the other side.
2007-02-12 11:09:17 · answer #11 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋