K, I've been straight forever. But when I entered high school, all this stuff turned upside down for me. Yeah yeah, I know. Fourteen is a bad age to be determining your sexuality because of hormones and puberty and crap. But I meann, when the feelings become INTENSE, it's sorta hard to ignore, you know? Kay wellll, this girl named Sara is like, my really good friend. Yeah, okay, well she's become more to me this year than ever before. I totally see her in a new light. I notice how pretty she is and like, what looks good on her. I came out to her as bi, but I mean, I have no clue what I am. I think I just told her to tell her, you know? Well, yeah. I like Sara ALOT now. I don't know what to do or say to let her know this, if I should let her know. Should I even?
2007-02-12 10:33:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You said all this stuff turned you upside down. Do you mean what who you are attracted to? If that is so don't worry about it too much because at this age your can be attracted to both sexes until your hormones begin to settle down. I think that adults try to impose their lifestyle preferences on teenagers.
The evidence for being born homosexual is very inconclusive simply because there have not been any wide range of tests and cross testing. So while there is a possibility to be born that way a lot of it is heavily environmental, that is you are being influenced by your friends, TV, society etc.
I am assuming that your friend must have been a really great help and support to you and so it is natural to be attracted to her. But apart from a sexual curiosity do you really see yourself becoming her lesbian partner for life? do you see the two of you living a life together in your old age?
Do you see both of you investing in a home together?
If you can't honestly see her like this then just chalk it up to hormones (they can be very INTENSE).
Being bi or gay is not about what you are attracted to but rather the lifestyle and how you choose to act on those feelings. I'm attracted to lots of girls but that does not make me promiscuous unless I started having sex with all of them.
Hang in there, don't let people tell you you are bi because you are attracted to one female especially since you said you were attracted to guys without a problem before.
Finally, good friends are hard to find and even if your friend was male, starting a relationship with a really good friend is always risky because relationships gone bad break up great friendships in some very painful ways.
As a thought I am figuring that you probably experienced some kind of thoughtlessness or maybe even abuse( physical, verbal, sexual, mental) from some guy you trusted (maybe a boyfriend maybe your father or father figure) or if guys treated you badly or only wanted one thing from you
all these are possibilities for why you may find your friend attractive but they are also all environmental. Which means at heart you are not gay or bi.
i'll be happy to help you if you need more help sorting through your feelings.
I hope this helps
2007-02-15 07:36:20 · answer #1 · answered by Knight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not anything extra complex than sexuality... and certainly you may have a few bisexual tendancies and you are simply experimenting. Explain this in your spouse however be ready that seeing that what you probably did used to be nonetheless technically dishonest and for anyone thoroughly external of your drawback, jogging in on 12 men masturbating in her residing room might be the most important head travel ever. Are you unwell? No... Don't consider that for a minute... however did you sort of shoot your self within the foot? It's really viable.
2016-09-05 07:42:37 · answer #2 · answered by capel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, well speaking as a 19 year old bisexual female..here is something u should consider before doing anything. you guys are good friends but u also like her alot...hopefully she likes you too but think to yourself if she doesnt will u be okay with her answer of just wanting to keep being friends? and think about will u still be able to continue your great friendship if she doesnt like u in that way?? also you might think if she has ever given you any signs that she is interested you in that way? once u figure all that out u should let her know how u feel but of course when its just u n her and maybe in aplace where u wont be interrupted since its a very sensitive subject
i hope i helped and good luck!
jessica
2007-02-12 10:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by jaysangel040106 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon how much flack you want to take as a young teenager. It can be tough to put up will all of that at that age. If you can get together without it being written on every wall in school, you might consider it. If not, keep it in your pants, as they say, until later when you can handle ridicule better.
2007-02-12 10:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmm..
Is it really LOVE or just intense admiration..
I mean I'm gay , and I've had intense crushes on people of the oposite sex.. so I guess it MAY be just that...
and you're just fourteen..
no need to rush it ^^
2007-02-12 15:35:06 · answer #5 · answered by MapDark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let her know you're bi which is a good first step. If she feels the same way she'll come to you.
2007-02-12 10:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle118 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahh dude. that's pretty hardd ehh?
well it depends what her reaction was when you told her you were bi. if it was bad then telling her you have feelings for her might not suprise her as much.
But I personally wouldn't, because it might ruin the friendship.
2007-02-12 10:39:38 · answer #7 · answered by sabrinashakedownn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You only get one chance at this life. Better make the most of it.
2007-02-12 10:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to be close friends with her and see where it goes.
2007-02-12 10:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by Myaloo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a counselor. I dont know how old your friend is, but it is illegal for her to have sex with you if she is over 21, because that is statuatory rape.
A homosexual or bisexual lifestyle is a very lonely, unfullfilling life. Get help.
2007-02-12 10:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋