I hate that i have thoughts of my ex. i don't want him...but i think of him @ times, and i hate that i do

Question

my ex and i broke up almost 9 months ago, but had been seeing each other throughout that whole time. i initially said it was over because he started playin' games. avoided me for like a week, then i overhear a chic on his vm. he claims it was his dike friend setting up the call to see my reaction. my reaction for....? just childish. anyway, we still were being intimate and hanging out from time to time. i had started working at his moms business, being there i discovered he was kickin it with a customer that i had been suspicious of when we were together. anyway, he tried to "work it out" with me after all that, telling me he was trying to get money from her for us. that disgusted me...i told him that's triflin' and weak as a man. and he needs to get a job. his character is lazy and pathetic in my eyes now. that's why i'm pissed i have an ocassional thought or dream about the bastard. i do things, i date other people, but i think of him sometimes. I hate that i think of him

Answer 1

Sometimes we need to do something extra to help ourselves let go of someone. I found an exercise where you write that you forgive the person for all the stuff they did and I wrote it out and it helped me to get over one ex-boyfriend. You also have to forgive yourself, and grieve for the future you imagined with him. Don't forget that there were valid reasons that you were with him in the first place, and that's probably where those thoughts come from. There's nothing wrong with thoughts, just recognize them and let them go as just thoughts. I hope you find peace.

Answer 2

You've got some pretty strong feelings for him to keep seeing him when he's like that. You didn't ask a question, but I assume that you want advice. I'd definitely bail on him. There are better fish in the sea.

Answer 3

id get on with your life and forget your ex