English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

I'v been marreied for 13 years and she started cheating on me 8 months ago and now we ddon't talk at all and she wants a divorce with three kids involved and all i want is my wife and life back what should i do to help the situation she says i push to hard to get what i want in everything i do but i just cant let go of her

2007-02-12 10:07:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

14 answers

I hurt for you man. I don't think you can have those things back. I'm really sorry.

You can frustrate the process, but you can't stop it. If she wants a divorce, then that's what's going to happen.

You heart must be in pieces right now. Really. I'm so sorry it hurts reading things like this.

2007-02-12 10:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0 0

I know this is not what you want to hear but generally when it gets to this point with a woman, it's too late. The reason for the seperation is usually not the unfaithfulness but the unfaithfullness is usually a symptom of the real reason for the seperation. Women are not usually sexually motivated but emotionally.

It's the being made to feel beautiful and desired and held that women go elsewhere for. After 13 years and 3 kids... men really do lose interest and women jump up and down and scream and yell and beg to no avail. Then they go somewhere else and men start paying attention. The problem is, once this happens a woman has usually turned the shut off switch as far as you are concerned and once its been shut off, it's off.

The only thing that might work is counselling and a desire to keep her children with their father. And that will only work if she is not "In love" with the new guy.

You have your work cut out for you, but it's not impossible. If you want to stay together for the right reasons you can work through it. You have to remind her why she picked you in the first place.

2007-02-12 10:20:33 · answer #2 · answered by stephyhall 2 · 0 0

This is sad, it almost sounds like you think her cheating is YOUR fault, it's not, it's 100% her and it's an absolute disgrace.

If someone wants to leave there's really nothing you can do to keep them. If you can get her to counseling that may help but if she wants out I doubt that would even work. Good luck to you though and try to think that what ever happens will be for the best. You sound way too good for this no-good cheating woman and if you do get a divorce, I'm sure you'll find a nice loyal woman who will treat you right.

2007-02-12 10:14:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

You must ask yourself can you truly live with her, knowing she cheated on you and could do so again at anytime? It takes a very special person to forgive and forget circumstances like these and to move on past what has happened. I think youre afraid to lose her and what you had and the idea of moving on alone without a wife and kids to come home to. One solution is just as hard as the other. It is never easy to change but its more difficult staying in a relationship where one doesnt want to be. But only you can decide what to do here as you have to live with your decision.

2007-02-12 10:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0 0

The only thing I can think of to do is tell her you still love her and want to try to work it out. Ask her to go for counselling with you. If she won't even try there isn't much you can do but let her go. I am so sorry you're going through this. It is so sad to see the end of a marriage when one of the people want it to work and there are children involved. I wish you all the best.

2007-02-12 10:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by mjm52 4 · 2 0

Obviously there is something missing in your life that has made her go out and cheat. I am not saying she is right, because I believe it is wrong. But, there is a reason she is seaking outside affection.

Marriage counseling is essential.

You need to change the way you treat her.

Treat her like you are dating her.

She fell in love with you becasue you made her feel good and now you don't do that anymore. Time for you to make up for lost time and treat her like your love

2007-02-12 10:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0 0

Hi Jimmy,
I know this may hurt BUT i feel you should let her go since she does not love you and want to be with you anymore. You cannot make someone love and want to be with you. They say when you love someone let them go and i feel that that applies here to your situation. Let her go and make sure you get to see the kids alot. You will be much better off without her and then you will need counseling and help to get past this and to start moving on with your life without her in it. I feel so bad for you and this situation and I hope things get better for you soon. Hugs to you today:)

http://www.drphil.com

2007-02-12 10:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0 0

I'm not sure but there are probably several factors that lead up to this situation. If she's already made a decision, there's really no point in hanging on to something that's already gone, at least emotionally. There's always choices but you both have to agree, if not you're only hurting yourself more if you hang on.

2007-02-12 10:18:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lee Ann M 2 · 0 0

Once a person has the heart set on something it's quite difficult to get them to change their mind. I don't think there is anything you can do to help the situation, if she cheated on you, it's more likely to happen again. All you can do is let go, and maybe just maybe she'll come to her senses.

2007-02-12 10:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by Janine 3 · 2 0

Game over man! You just got a one way ticket to "Marriage is a Cosmic Joke"-ville. There's not much you can do to save your marriage. Get a lawyer. She's probably banking on you to be too distraught to defend yourself. At least you can try to avoid a trip to the cleaners since she cheated. Try to trick her into confessing on tape or something before telling her you got a lawyer.

2007-02-12 10:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers