Was marriage a better institution when there were virtually no expectations?

Question

For example.. back in the 40's or 30'S? Or even arranged marriages? Very little divorce back then.... let's FACE Reality!!!

Answer 1

There have always been expectations. The reason divorce was uncommon is because women were kept from getting much of an education and doing any kind of meaningful employment or any job that would pay a living wage. The expectations were that she would stay home keep house, take care of children and wait on her husband hand and foot while he was the bread winner. You know, the best wife was barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen (or bedroom). THAT, my friend, is reality. That began to change with WWII when women went out into the general workforce and realized that getting an education was a good idea. Or do you like the idea of having an ignorant wife that can't do or think for herself?

Answer 2

I don't think marriage has improved, I think people just accepted their lots in life and didn't complain. Sometimes, that's a good thing. Just because life doesn't turn out like we expect it to, doesn't mean it's a bad life. However, if someone is caught in an abusive marriage, there was little a person could do back in the day. My grandmother got a divorce in the early 50s because her husband cheated on her and abused her, but it was a source of family shame. Now, there are things people can do. Plus, now, women are not expected to get married right away. We have the option to go to college, explore the world, find a career and a life we love. I think when both people are living a life that brings them peace, their marriage will be better for everyone.

Answer 3

There has always been and will always be expectations in any marriage. The difference between then and now is that people were more willing to stay together and work thru their problems instead of heading for divorce court as the slightest sign of trouble that is present today, especially when expectations begin to fall apart. Family values and morals were stronger back then and being married really meant something. Also those were the days of a single wage earner marriages where today most are two wage earner. Back then divorce was a black eye on a family or person instead of an easy solution to a problem today. Divorces were harder to get ands you needed a real reason to get one, not like today where you can get one for any stupid reason and no one cares. We are truly a product of our society.

Answer 4

Actually there were some very big expectation for marriage back in the 30's and 40's. Today the rules have changed and woman don't need a man to pay he way in life. Most all women today can define her life anyway she wants without being made wrong.

Yes this has blurred the gender roll some but not much. Marriage and having children really still carries the same commitment. Both men and women still have some adjusting to do to tweak their relationship to what is best for them.

Women have to let go of their old way of viewing money. Men of the past had no problem sharing his income but women tend to view a man as less for making less money. Most of the lady I meet that make six figures in most cases want a man the makes as much or more. It was ok for women to spend a man's money but women are not comfortable with a man spending her money. This is insanity and selfishness of women independence. Yes I know men have to be willing to do more around the house, I give women that.

Independence without societal responsibility has weakened us all.

Answer 5

There weren't as many divorces back then, because women's options were very limited. Many women were unable to escape unhappy marriages because they had no means of supporting themselves. Many did not work, but took care of the family and children. Nowadays, it's easy to obtain a divorce for females and males. I think people also enter marriage these days with unrealistic expectations and we live in quick fix society. Instead of delving into the problems of the marriage and working to making it OK again, many people just like to say serve dovirce papers and move on. Arranged marriages? NO WAY!

Answer 6

Its rather simple actually. People in past marriages had their place. Knew their role. Conducted themselves accordingly. Depended upon one another to do whats expected, worked as a team. Otherwise the family failed and failer back then most of the time resorted in death and or starvation.

Today we live in a disposable society. If its broken its easier and cheaper to replace with something new. That goes for people and love... When the love wears out its welcome its easier to get another toy. Be that it a car, a boat, a home or a human. And since its only our discretionary income that's at risk the heart has this uncanny ability to move on rather quickly.

Answer 7

I would say there were MORE expectations... just less ability to deviate from them. Much better now. Lack of the option of divorce does not make a marriage better... Marriage as an 'institution' was no less idiotic then...

Answer 8

Actually it was just much harder to get divorced back then. They were forced to either work it out or keep up appearances. I don't think it's that much better because human nature never changes.

Answer 9

No, it was a "better" institution, few divorces, because you were ostracized or ignored or stoned if you divorced. The concept hasn't changed only the consequences.