Any funny stories about anything??

Question

Please keep it clean.

Answer 1

WOW, too many but here's Off the top of my head:

Had a friend from (yeah I know) KALAMAZOO
He had informed us that when we hunt / camp always remember if a bear comes after you "run downhill, bears can't run downhill"
Stifling our laughter, we asked where he got this info. He SWORE it was fact.
Not able to keep it in any longer during his oaths of certainty. I told him I believed he had a point. Thinking I was agreeing he nodded to the rest of the listeners (co workers...ouch).
I then said "That's because they tuck & roll past and catch you at the bottom."

Single Mom with 16 yr. old & 4 yr. old sons and a 15 yr old daughter.
During a disagreement on probably liberties. My daughter starts sassing me. My son's Mantra he repeated to her "don't **c* with the mommie."
So, she calls me a heffer (we lived in Missouri (misery) at that time).My oldest son grabs his lil' brother by the arm and kindly explains that they should no longer remain in the same room.
Fortunatley I composed myself (enough) and gently said " tsk, tsk true blond female offspring, you are incorrect AGAIN. I have given birth, so correctly I am a COW, YOU for have not given birth yet, are the HEFFER". A wink and a smile later I left her to sulk.

And lastly while being DETAINED in a Mexican Jail:
My buddy while trying to nap (on a concrete floor) stirred awake and rolled over to face me, found me staring (I was dazing out from exhaustion) at her. "I smiled and just said "I'm watching your back"

Answer 2

as u have requested so i have made the story somewhat clean anyway it's really funny Read This

Once a guy who was new to chatting entered a room of adult flirting and there he met a person named sex machine on checking the person's profile and after a long conversation he made the conclusion that the other one was really a woman then onwards he deviated from decency and asked a couple of questions which i quote below

him:may i be more personal??
her:sure babe!!!!!!
him: blah blah blah(truly sexual)
her:u really turn me on!!
him:oh!! do i
her:ya of course
him:may i make u moan?
her:OK honey!!
him:OK then u just moan thru the phone(mic)

suddenly he heard his mother mother moaning near to his bedroom!!!

Answer 3

I once went into a hardware shop and asked for a bucket of canary yellow paint. The clerk asked me what I was using it for, because the surface type would indicate what type of paint i needed.

I told him I needed it because I heard about a canary singing contest, and wanted to enter my finch in it who had an amazing voice. He tried telling me that you can't paint a bird, cuz it would die, so I bet him $20.

The next day I went into the shop and laid the 20 on the counter and the clerk started bragging. I was forced to tell him that it wasn't the paint that killed him, but the sanding between coats.

Answer 4

This is the wrong place for this question but here goes... when i was 15 i did a lot of baby sitting jobs, anyways i was watching this 8 year old and his little brother (who was almost 3 and wasn't completely potty trained yet) well the 8 year old comes up to me and says " i think Mikey (the 3 year old) messed himself) so i go to change him (this was the first time i had ever changed a dipper) well as i am changing Mikey his brother comes up and pinches me on the butt... and takes off running, well (since Mikey was on the floor) i chase after him i run in to the dinning room i see him running off to another room (he runs in to the kitchen) i follow after him well when i ran in to the kitchen i slip in dog pee and fall butt first in to the trash can... it sucked

Answer 5

hghyhbhgerh